It's incredible, but the new century and technologies which make our lives more comfortable — have become the reason for destroying our happiness!
The 21st century is the century of comfort. We are surrounded by smart machines that save a lot of time and good old inventions, amazing imagination in the late 18th – early 19th century no longer needed. But this is not the limit...
It seems not far off the days when science and technology will be able to do everything around the robot, and we'll just have to lie on the couch and only one power of thought to communicate with the person on the other end of the planet, or to watch movies that are displayed directly in the brain, not on the TV screen. The most amazing thing is that even for us it will be a miracle, what had previously been considered, each new invention.
But despite all these amenities and "miracles" of the 21st century makes people all happy. And all this thanks to the development of science and technology.
With having so many devices and gadgets we don't need anyone.
Studies show that every fourth person on the planet is no one who he could trust. The average number of close friends whom we can call, often very quickly reduced. And this is happening only for the last 25 years. But why?1. We filter out people from my life
And that's not sarcasm. Irritation and annoyance is what fosters tolerance and patience. The more irritation we can erase from life, the better we cope with it.
The problem is that we develop amazing widest network technologies, designed only to avoid annoying individuals. When shopping via the Internet, we avoid the crowds sluggishness buyers, lazily wandering through the market and interferes with the pass, where it is necessary, and an unhappy cashier at the supermarket, tearing anger at a cheating husband on unsuspecting customers.
Spent on a home theater with a monitor on the wall and speakers in each corner of the apartment, we avoid someone else's kid kicking the back legs of your chairs and crowds of teenagers inappropriate, making inappropriate comments and laughing for the whole room. In a long queue to the dentist won't be interrupted by talking to a smelly old man in a nearby chair, because we insert the earphones in your ears and immerse yourself in reading books on the iPhone. All! All stimuli and annoying people filtered!It would be ideal if I could permanently remove all the annoyance of life.
But it is not and never will be. As long as we have needs, we will be forced to communicate with people who can not stand, whether we like it or not. But we lose this ability to communicate with strangers
and carry their squeaky voices, stupid sense of humor, bad smell or disgusting manner of dress. And this is why every encounter with the outside world, a world that cannot be controlled, causes a burning desire to give someone in the face.2. We don't have enough friends
We do not choose the place of birth. And each of us from early childhood lives in a city full of people we can not stand. And go to school with classmates that we did not choose and who do not share our interests and Hobbies. Someone even beat...
But we grow up and find yourself a circle of friends with the same interests on specialized sites and forums, or organize your own club fans of the game "Tanks" which are only the most dedicated, and fenced off from the rest of the world that does not understand us. You can say goodbye to the tedious, awkward and painful process of communicating with those who you do not like.
But the problem is that peaceful relations with you incompatible with people are crucial for life in society.
Even more: the relationship with the people you hate, and a society – all these people with opposite tastes and conflicting personalities that coexist in the same space and interact, often through clenched teeth.
Some 50 years ago all the neighbors gathered in a small crowded stuffy room of one of the lucky winners to watch TV – the new miracle of technology. There was little choice: either be patient, or you will not see a TV. And when someone bought the car whole house, and then the block was gathered around to look at her. And many of them are still those assholes!
But overall, when people were more happy in their work and more satisfied with their lives. And, more importantly, they had more friends. Even despite the fact that often it was not possible to filter peers with the same interests, and often friends even called those who lived in the neighborhood, but they had more close friends than we can boast of today. These were people who could be trusted.
Undoubtedly, after we manage to overcome this first feeling of annoyance, once subside this feeling of superiority under the name of "they listen to different music and wouldn't understand mine", comes the sense of the need of others and desire to be needed by other higher common interests. And the ability to tolerate fools and to endure the irritation is literally the only thing that allows us to function in a world populated by other people.
Otherwise, you turn into an emo. And this is a scientifically proven fact...3. SMS is not the best way to communicate
Even research no need to understand that more than 40 percent said SMS or email, remains misunderstood. Printed text does not convey tone, emotion, and other nonverbal messages color. Because of this, there is a lot of difficulties, resentments and misunderstandings.
How many friends do you communicate exclusively online? If 40 percent of your personality is lost in text communication, you know these people you really are? Do you dislike people through SMSes, emails, forums or in chat rooms, because you're really incompatible? Or is this because of the misunderstood 40 percent? And those, whom you like?
Many try to compensate for the difference in numbers, gaining hundreds of friends and Classmates and Vkontakte. But the problem is that...4. Virtual friends only added to the loneliness
Continuing the previous conversation, it should be noted that, when dealing with the man personally, only 7 percent of the value of said words is transferred directly. The remaining 93 percent of the meaning hidden in non-verbal ways including gestures, facial expressions, body language, tone, intonation, etc.
Indeed, in most cases, our humor is only sarcasm, but sarcasm can be seen only by intonation. In written text it is not visible.
This is the main problem.
The human ability to absorb the moods of others through such a subconscious osmosis is crucial. Kids born without it are considered mentally retarded. People its excess is called the "charismatic" and become movie stars or politicians. It is not in what they say. The fact that the energy they radiate, and which gives us a good sense of ourselves.
Living in the Text World, it is all exposed. This has a side effect: in the absence of a sense of the mood of the interlocutor, each read line passes through the filter of our own mood. Being irritated, any text is viewed with sarcasm and negativity, with a hunger to be offended.
What is worse, continuing the communication in the same spirit, your mood will not change. In the end, people always say something unpleasant. Of course, comes the depression. You come to grips with the world! And in these moments you really need someone who will take by the shoulders and shake thoroughly. And this leads to the next point...5. We do not have enough criticsThe worst thing about the lack of close friends is not missed birthdays
or sad playing tennis with the wall. No! The worst part is the lack of real, healthy criticism.
Network completely strangers on forums and chat rooms can you call you "vile Troll", a "vile windbag", "pathetic faggot", "boring", or "upstart".
But all this does not matter and all these name calling and insults should not be confused with criticism, because none of these strangers don't know you well enough to get to the point. Offends someone who wants to emphasize their hatred of you. Criticize those who want to help by specifying that you prefer just not to know.
Sadly, there are many people who have never had such conversations. Manipulation, the brutal truth, the terrible, awkward, crooked, awkward conversations, only possible with those who see right through you, sometimes terribly necessary.Email and texting is the ideal way to avoid such frankness.
On the printed message you can reply at any time when it is convenient. You can weigh all the words, choose the question that is most convenient to answer. The interlocutor will not see your face, your condition, your excitement and irritation, he can't catch you in a lie. All completely under your control.
But the caller will never penetrate your armor, don't see you in the worst light, knows not of embarrassment, which you can't control. Gone are the days of conventional evasions, tricks, humiliation and vulnerability, on which to build a real friendship.
Have a look at my social media accounts, look at the images that the people themselves create. Zaim dozens of friends in the blog or on the forum, having presented himself the Ruler of the Night, it will be difficult to tell someone about an acute attack of diarrhea right in the middle of the Christmas office party. You will never be able to be yourself, and that is the feelings
of extreme loneliness.
But, most importantly...6. We are the victims feelings of resentment and anger
Many will argue that the reasons for depression mass: people starving, countries turned into Nazi Germany, elderly parents watching stupid TV shows and endlessly discuss them, people are dying in senseless wars...But where we come from is much more negative than it was in our parents or grandparents?
Before people lived so long, and babies die more often. The terrible disease was more prevalent.
In the old days the only means of communication with a friend who moved to another city, a pen, a sheet of paper and a postage stamp. Now there is Iraq, but our parents were Afghanistan, which killed 50 times more lives, and their parents had world war II, which took a thousand times more. Most of our parents grew up in a time without air conditioning, and grandfathers and great grandfathers they were not at all.
Physically, we live much better today than we are is not measured... but you don't understand, if you read the news online. Why?
Let's look at it from this perspective: if a music website publishes an article under the heading "Group "Lyapis Trubetskoy" makes good music", and on the same day at the same site there is another article called "Music critics have called the band "Lyapis Trubetskoy" the worst band of all times and peoples", which one, in your opinion, will be more popular? Of course, the second! Resentment breeds rumor.
People leading blogs, know it. Every website is struggling for traffic. Even not placing at the ads, they still measure their success in the size of your audience.
Therefore, they carefully choose only the stories that incite the greatest interest and indignation. Other blogs are starting to reprint the same story and twist from his point of view. You can spend the day wallowing in the warm, stagnant swamp of resentment and so out of it and swim.
Only in this environment could appear foolish conspiracy theories on 9 September 2001, in which Bush himself blew up the twin towers and the planes were just a hologram. After hearing such talk, every leader of the opposition becomes Hitler, and every election is an Apocalypse. And that's only because you all continue to read.
Previously, it was not a big problem. We all remember the days when television had only three channels, two of which were broadcast only with lunch. Absolutely all people have in common news releases, filing information from one point of view. Some of the views were delayed and distorted. Some news stories are generally silent. But all heard the same thing.
No more effective "mass media". Earlier the same news just is differently perceived by different people. Today, the same news is served in different ways. It is even difficult not to agree, because all the facts are contradictory. The constant feeling of disharmony with the surrounding world, leads to increasing voltage.
People have always been natural ways to pacify her anxiety, but today...7. We feel unwanted, worthless, because we really are nothing
There is one plus to friends was network, but never mentioned. They require you less...
Emotionally you're always on their side, calm after the breakup of another relationship, maybe even dissuade from attempting suicide. But friendship with someone in the real world adds to the endless list of annoying demands:
to spend the whole night in repairing their computer, going to the funeral of their relatives to carry them around while their car was in the shop, to meet them at the threshold of the apartment, when you only sat down to watch my favorite TV series, to feed a sandwich with the last piece of sausage in the refrigerator, hearing about what they all day nothing to eat... But how much easier things are in the social network, ICQ and forums...The problem is that the need to do something for people sitting in us on a subconscious level.
The last 5 thousand years, everyone knew it, and over the past few decades suddenly forgot about it.
We educate teenagers with suicidal tendencies and eager to teach them self-esteem. But, unfortunately, self-esteem and ability to love himself appears only after the appropriate actions.
Want to escape from this black hole of self-hatred?
Remove from the face greasy hair, get up from the computer, and buy a lovely gift for someone you hate. Send a postcard to my worst enemy. Prepare dinner parents. Make something simple but with a really noticeable result: clean drains finally or plant a flower.You – a social animal, which are hormones of happiness when you see a physical benefit from their actions.
A form of stress relief via mild discomfort always been part of our daily life: in the hunt for a Gazelle, picking berries, climbing a mountain, in a skirmish with the bear... But not anymore. That's why office work makes us unhappy.
Have you noticed that your circle of friends is shrinking over time?Where do you find them? Or psychopaths around us
We don't get physical, tangible results from work. But after two months on the construction site under the burning sun, you until the end of his days will say: "I build", passing by any house. Maybe that's why mass shootings occur more often in offices than on building sites.
Physical satisfaction of dirt under the fingernails can come only when you turn the computer off, go outside and again connect with the real world. The feeling you feel every time you say "I built", or "I was raised", or "I fed," or "I made these pants" does not compare to anything that you can offer the Internet! published
P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©