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What we forget to teach children
When communicating with parents I see more and more how similar we are in their judgments. Everyone is wondering "what to teach?"
There are few who relies on a school, UNIVERSITY, further education, educational mugs. Modern people realize that the future is not for narrow specialists. To achieve in life at least a small success, one must be versatile. But learning in educational programs steeped in the stereotypical shackles, receive what was said by the writer-philosopher albert Camus:
School prepares us for life in a world that doesn't exist.
The child was not all, parents want to give it on additional mugs, cutting and sewing, for example. Do you like it? Chess is also interesting. The dancing is great. The music is great! For the soul and talent development, just the essential things. English, swimming, figure skating, violin, drawing, modeling, theatre, fencing, modeling schools, schools of witchcraft. Dazzled. For what? To the child it was not boring, he grew up to be versatile and looking for himself.
Creativity is great, but for the development of self-identity that is far enough.
As well we learned how to make their children's individual... among of the thousands of individual.
The multiplication table learned, a chemical compound of substances is mastered, talents trained. How now to learn how to behave in different situations? Which of the circles was explained to the children about basic things: how to fight for ourselves, how to manage money, how to eliminate breakage of items like not to give up in difficult situations?
They expect ready-made solutions, which in life. In life in General, few standard solutions, especially in our digital time. No one explains that the concept of "good" and "bad" is relative, that life is an unlimited number of answers to completely different questions. Life is a continuous controversy.Children get used to standard training programs, and then fall into a stupor when faced with real issues, problems, conflicts. Where the child becomes accustomed to something conditionally correct, it turns out that's not right, and there are still thousand right that is the place to be. Who ever came up with these cliches about the rightness and wrongness?
In the end we get great athletes, great dancers, these pop stars and medalists who are unable to cope with real-life problems because they are beyond what they taught in the framework of a narrow focus.
Sometimes we forget to explain to children trivial things, and then sincerely wonder why they do not know about them.
My friend, who now works as a marketing Manager, told the following story:
"Vain search of work exhausted to the limit. In a recession, people cut to get somewhere is very difficult. Everywhere over and over again to hear the refusal. Who needs a specialist without much experience? At the last interview I just filled up the practical tasks with which I never faced. And, of course, I sat in a puddle. Hands down, it's bad, life is unfair.
Upset shared his feelings with the closest person — my dad. To which he replied: "Why do you care? Use your failures. Now you know all forms of failures, you know thousands of questions that you can ask at the next interview, you gain practical experience in negotiations with Directors." Through a veil of tears and indignation in front of me stood a completely new truth.
And it's true. The way it is. Before any failure, to me, was a disaster. I couldn't see this as a positive for yourself.
Tell me anyone about any situation, like a coin, has two sides, I would go with childhood, simpler related to any failures, did not give up and continued to stubbornly strive for their goals. And I know about these simple truths just now. I graduated from music school, 9 years dancing, singing and traveling around the world on tour. I have a diploma of higher education, a lot of passed master-classes on self-development, experience in working with people and mass events. But no one has explained the very important fact that often plays a major role in achieving success. No one from childhood taught me not to be afraid of difficulties. And this is very important at different life stages."
We got so caught up in the Mirage of a perfect life where all the children are much smarter and more successful in the development of mental abilities than their parents, that we forget about how it all really happens. Life never goes according to the script of fairy tales and novels. We always have to face difficulties and obstacles. It is important to give the child a real knowledge for real life.
Life is much more complicated than our ideal representation of her.
We forget to acquaint children with the real life, and then resent and fall into despair when life is not perfect in relation to our child. Suffer from it themselves, children suffer.
Another example of life stories by Mrs N (in order not to hurt nobody's feelings):
"I have in my family a niece (6 years old). Grandparents zalyublivayut it to the limit! And then repeat for every trick, "Honey, remember — you always do the right thing". It is not about pampering, although it is also present. The older little Princess, the harder it is to perceive the cruelty of the world. She's used to reference against beloved old people, and when external society sees the outrage to his person, it leads to nervous breakdown. What's next?
To the question "why don't you teach her granddaughter to real life?" the grandfather and the grandmother, knitting a nose, shrug and say that while children are young, they need to be pampered".
Parents think the child is still to much not ready, he is still small, not the time to teach him life advice. But it is not! Children are much smarter than we imagine. Sometimes they are even smarter than any adult. Choosing between the reprimand of the child and practical life advice, it is better to choose the second, the nerves will spend less and the benefits will be greater.One need not look far for examples — look around and you will find hundreds of people, accustomed to an ideal model of life, but not knowing how to behave in its harsh realities. Now a relatively quiet time: children grow up in a safe environment, like a hothouse plant, sheltered from all malicious. Scary when the baby comes out of her "greenhouses", and it turns out that for him, no one decides that life is difficult and sometimes not as friendly as it used to be.
Anxiety and anger mothers ALWAYS take power from the baby!
How to convince a kid to listen to without tears and whims: 7 soft tech
Start teaching children that have learned themselves during their lives. Learn to deal with difficulties, learn independence and courage. Teach that every situation has a solution, and not one! Do not wait until the child steps on a rake. Take action right now.
Much harder to turn the world of an adult: for his stress, he was not used, he didn't know. So why not raise it from childhood, when you still have a chance to teach children what they are grateful now, not 20 years later? published
Author: Evgeny Novoselov
Source: newtonew.com/discussions/realistic-nurture-in-severe-world
There are few who relies on a school, UNIVERSITY, further education, educational mugs. Modern people realize that the future is not for narrow specialists. To achieve in life at least a small success, one must be versatile. But learning in educational programs steeped in the stereotypical shackles, receive what was said by the writer-philosopher albert Camus:
School prepares us for life in a world that doesn't exist.
The child was not all, parents want to give it on additional mugs, cutting and sewing, for example. Do you like it? Chess is also interesting. The dancing is great. The music is great! For the soul and talent development, just the essential things. English, swimming, figure skating, violin, drawing, modeling, theatre, fencing, modeling schools, schools of witchcraft. Dazzled. For what? To the child it was not boring, he grew up to be versatile and looking for himself.
Creativity is great, but for the development of self-identity that is far enough.
As well we learned how to make their children's individual... among of the thousands of individual.
The multiplication table learned, a chemical compound of substances is mastered, talents trained. How now to learn how to behave in different situations? Which of the circles was explained to the children about basic things: how to fight for ourselves, how to manage money, how to eliminate breakage of items like not to give up in difficult situations?
They expect ready-made solutions, which in life. In life in General, few standard solutions, especially in our digital time. No one explains that the concept of "good" and "bad" is relative, that life is an unlimited number of answers to completely different questions. Life is a continuous controversy.Children get used to standard training programs, and then fall into a stupor when faced with real issues, problems, conflicts. Where the child becomes accustomed to something conditionally correct, it turns out that's not right, and there are still thousand right that is the place to be. Who ever came up with these cliches about the rightness and wrongness?
In the end we get great athletes, great dancers, these pop stars and medalists who are unable to cope with real-life problems because they are beyond what they taught in the framework of a narrow focus.
Sometimes we forget to explain to children trivial things, and then sincerely wonder why they do not know about them.
My friend, who now works as a marketing Manager, told the following story:
"Vain search of work exhausted to the limit. In a recession, people cut to get somewhere is very difficult. Everywhere over and over again to hear the refusal. Who needs a specialist without much experience? At the last interview I just filled up the practical tasks with which I never faced. And, of course, I sat in a puddle. Hands down, it's bad, life is unfair.
Upset shared his feelings with the closest person — my dad. To which he replied: "Why do you care? Use your failures. Now you know all forms of failures, you know thousands of questions that you can ask at the next interview, you gain practical experience in negotiations with Directors." Through a veil of tears and indignation in front of me stood a completely new truth.
And it's true. The way it is. Before any failure, to me, was a disaster. I couldn't see this as a positive for yourself.
Tell me anyone about any situation, like a coin, has two sides, I would go with childhood, simpler related to any failures, did not give up and continued to stubbornly strive for their goals. And I know about these simple truths just now. I graduated from music school, 9 years dancing, singing and traveling around the world on tour. I have a diploma of higher education, a lot of passed master-classes on self-development, experience in working with people and mass events. But no one has explained the very important fact that often plays a major role in achieving success. No one from childhood taught me not to be afraid of difficulties. And this is very important at different life stages."
We got so caught up in the Mirage of a perfect life where all the children are much smarter and more successful in the development of mental abilities than their parents, that we forget about how it all really happens. Life never goes according to the script of fairy tales and novels. We always have to face difficulties and obstacles. It is important to give the child a real knowledge for real life.
Life is much more complicated than our ideal representation of her.
We forget to acquaint children with the real life, and then resent and fall into despair when life is not perfect in relation to our child. Suffer from it themselves, children suffer.
Another example of life stories by Mrs N (in order not to hurt nobody's feelings):
"I have in my family a niece (6 years old). Grandparents zalyublivayut it to the limit! And then repeat for every trick, "Honey, remember — you always do the right thing". It is not about pampering, although it is also present. The older little Princess, the harder it is to perceive the cruelty of the world. She's used to reference against beloved old people, and when external society sees the outrage to his person, it leads to nervous breakdown. What's next?
To the question "why don't you teach her granddaughter to real life?" the grandfather and the grandmother, knitting a nose, shrug and say that while children are young, they need to be pampered".
Parents think the child is still to much not ready, he is still small, not the time to teach him life advice. But it is not! Children are much smarter than we imagine. Sometimes they are even smarter than any adult. Choosing between the reprimand of the child and practical life advice, it is better to choose the second, the nerves will spend less and the benefits will be greater.One need not look far for examples — look around and you will find hundreds of people, accustomed to an ideal model of life, but not knowing how to behave in its harsh realities. Now a relatively quiet time: children grow up in a safe environment, like a hothouse plant, sheltered from all malicious. Scary when the baby comes out of her "greenhouses", and it turns out that for him, no one decides that life is difficult and sometimes not as friendly as it used to be.
Anxiety and anger mothers ALWAYS take power from the baby!
How to convince a kid to listen to without tears and whims: 7 soft tech
Start teaching children that have learned themselves during their lives. Learn to deal with difficulties, learn independence and courage. Teach that every situation has a solution, and not one! Do not wait until the child steps on a rake. Take action right now.
Much harder to turn the world of an adult: for his stress, he was not used, he didn't know. So why not raise it from childhood, when you still have a chance to teach children what they are grateful now, not 20 years later? published
Author: Evgeny Novoselov
Source: newtonew.com/discussions/realistic-nurture-in-severe-world
