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How to accept the beginning of the school year
When faced with such an unwanted but inevitable event as the beginning of the school year, we go throughfive stages:
1. Denial. You can't believe it will happen soon.
2. Anger.The outrage of the situation, the hatred of people who don't need to learn.
3. Auction. Attempt to make a deal with fate to take a sabbatical or sick.
4. Depression. Despair and horror, loss of interest in life.
5. Adoption. "Well, school's not so bad. At least, I don't want to work."
Fourteen million five hundred eighty thousand four hundred forty three
Of course, these stages do not necessarily have to follow each other in that order, and some of them you can skip. But in the end you have to accept my destiny.
Actually these stages were coined by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and are not to study, and psychological support to the dying. She "The theory of the five stages» became widely known through the works of mass culture, where it has been played out (for example, in "Dr. house" and "the Simpsons"). Of course, no scientific evidence base, it is not: rather, it's just a subjective observation.
Thirty two million nine hundred ninety six thousand four hundred thirteen
Stage 4. Depression (still from the animated series "robot Chicken»)
However, the theory has become very popular — largely because it is easy to apply to other phenomena (like we did). Then comes the next temptation: why not apply other psychotherapeutic concepts to this traumatic event — the beginning of the school year?
Of course, it may not be anything traumatic. But in order to achieve the desired effect, we had to dramatize the situation. The therapist should deal with strong emotions and deep-seated problems, not with the banal boredom and dissatisfaction.
When notebooks bought, collected books and pencils sharpened, some of us covers sudden despair. What to do? Who is to blame? What is the meaning of all this?
Here's how it would be possible to answer these issues from the perspective of major psychotherapeutic schools.
Classical psychoanalysis
If learning is boredom, discipline and control, Freudianism is not surprising that it causes concern and rejection. Anxiety, according to Freud, is "the original reaction to helplessness, subsequently reproduced as a call for help in anticipation of injury." The closer September 1, the more helpless you feel. If you can't find a psychoanalyst try to understand with your unconscious themselves.
The onset of the academic year means that we have to change the pleasure principle, which pushes us to the speedy implementation of the spontaneous desires to the reality principle: to subordinate himself to the requirements of the external world with its schedules, sessions, assessments and homework.
The unconscious part of the psyche ("It") comes into conflict with the moral demands of society ("superego") and the surrounding circumstances. To reconcile this conflict is a Central part of your personality — the "Ego". Fortunately, the unconscious desire are relatively easy to sublimation, i.e. a shift to a socially acceptable purpose.
Instead strive for sexual satisfaction, we begin to desire good grades, approval of teachers and parents — as if it affects our own well-being. Forty six million five hundred thirty four thousand two hundred nine
Without the sublimation of our schools would look something like this (illustration Tom S. zaydman-Freud)
Someone sublimates easily and freely to someone is difficult. It depends on how you were able to replace external, parental control internal.
Suppressed desire, which still had no output on any level, develop into aggression and anxiety. Try to translate your desire for the learning process, and you will find it a lot more unknown pleasures.
Experience teaches that most people have a limit beyond which their Constitution refuses to follow the requirements of the culture. Anyone wishing to be more generous than allowed by their nature, fall into a neurosis; they would be better felt if they left the possibility to be worse.
Sigmund Freud, in "the Curse of virginity»
The neofreudianism
In neofreudianism the problems of the individual cannot be separated from its cultural environment. In other words, it is not enough to effectively sublimate. The regime of oppression gives rise to society, then we need to change and to cease to be functional and to strive only for high efficiency, and instead to aspire to the realization of full human potential.
If the educational system stifles your individuality, no need to put up with it.Before you enter the theatre, ask for society to be transformed on humanistic principles, otherwise classes will give you little good: you will learn destructive patterns of behaviour leading to exclusion and exploitative relations between people.
It would be wrong to regress to the satisfaction of the basic instincts — for example, instead of training sessions to indulge in walks in the fresh air and playing pokemon. In a healthy society, people would reach full expression in work and cooperation, not only in entertainment.
... modern man has extremely low self-discipline outside of the working sphere. When he's not working, he wants to be lazy, do nothing, or to put it nicer — "rest". Desire is in itself idleness is largely a reaction to the strict pattern of life.
Erich Fromm, "the Art of love»
Existential analysis
To courageously take the beginning of the school year, think about the ultimate realities of human existence — death, isolation, freedom, and inner emptiness. Only through this understanding you will learn to perceive the educational process, not as something forced and meaningless, but as a necessary condition of your being in this world.
Study how the transition from grade to grade and from course to course does not involve your personal choice. It is already done for you and you only are subject to external requirements. Hence, there is a feeling of boredom and meaninglessness. But man, according to Victor Frankl, "to its inception, imbued with the will to meaning." And this meaning can be found not within ourselves, but in the world.
Seventeen million six hundred nineteen thousand four hundred eighty two
According to Victor Frankl, the "existential vacuum manifests itself primarily in feelings of boredom»
You can go one of three ways:
A third way, as Frankl indicates, you need to choose only if the first two are closed. But if your school or University, something similar to a concentration camp, it will be most welcome.
You have to understand that the whole world is a joke. Justice does not exist, everything happens by accident. Only when you understand this, you will agree that it is foolish to take seriously himself. In the universe there is a greater purpose. She was just there. It does not matter exactly how you decide to act in a particular case.
Viktor Frankl, in "Man's search for meaning»
Cognitive behavioral therapy
What's so bad in the beginning of the school year? Try to change your attitude, and after that change herself. That seemed boring and pointless stuff, you can find a lot of interesting. As pointed out by Aaron Beck, following the ancient Stoics: «It is not that the world is bad, but how often do we see it so".
We automatically interpret everything that happens around. Try to catch these thoughts by the hand, before finally to trust them: maybe you missed something? Gather evidence for and against your interpretation.
If the "see the good" does not work, remember that any suffering has its own time frame. Classes will end soon, the evening will be free from this nonsense, and after a couple of months will be a vacation... don't be so categorical in their judgments — remember that they can easily change. If learning is associated with pain and stress, think about the delicious scones in the dining room or on the wonderful people with whom you would otherwise never have met.If you think that the studies do not make any sense and a waste of time, it is likely that it will be.
Also interesting: the School, nostalgic
The burden of knowledge: as doubt help us to grow
However, "positive thinking" is not necessarily a good solution. No need to embellish the boring classes; in this case it is better to find the meaning somewhere else.
thoughts cause feelings, and many emotions that you experience are determined by the thoughts, however fleeting they may be. In other words, by themselves, events are not painted emotionally. How you interpret them that makes you experience certain feelings.
M. McKay, M. Davis, P. fanning, "How to beat stress and depression»
Author: Oleg Bocharnikov
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: newtonew.com/discussions/how-to-archive-acceptance
1. Denial. You can't believe it will happen soon.
2. Anger.The outrage of the situation, the hatred of people who don't need to learn.
3. Auction. Attempt to make a deal with fate to take a sabbatical or sick.
4. Depression. Despair and horror, loss of interest in life.
5. Adoption. "Well, school's not so bad. At least, I don't want to work."
Fourteen million five hundred eighty thousand four hundred forty three
Of course, these stages do not necessarily have to follow each other in that order, and some of them you can skip. But in the end you have to accept my destiny.
Actually these stages were coined by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and are not to study, and psychological support to the dying. She "The theory of the five stages» became widely known through the works of mass culture, where it has been played out (for example, in "Dr. house" and "the Simpsons"). Of course, no scientific evidence base, it is not: rather, it's just a subjective observation.
Thirty two million nine hundred ninety six thousand four hundred thirteen
Stage 4. Depression (still from the animated series "robot Chicken»)
However, the theory has become very popular — largely because it is easy to apply to other phenomena (like we did). Then comes the next temptation: why not apply other psychotherapeutic concepts to this traumatic event — the beginning of the school year?
Of course, it may not be anything traumatic. But in order to achieve the desired effect, we had to dramatize the situation. The therapist should deal with strong emotions and deep-seated problems, not with the banal boredom and dissatisfaction.
When notebooks bought, collected books and pencils sharpened, some of us covers sudden despair. What to do? Who is to blame? What is the meaning of all this?
Here's how it would be possible to answer these issues from the perspective of major psychotherapeutic schools.
Classical psychoanalysis
If learning is boredom, discipline and control, Freudianism is not surprising that it causes concern and rejection. Anxiety, according to Freud, is "the original reaction to helplessness, subsequently reproduced as a call for help in anticipation of injury." The closer September 1, the more helpless you feel. If you can't find a psychoanalyst try to understand with your unconscious themselves.
The onset of the academic year means that we have to change the pleasure principle, which pushes us to the speedy implementation of the spontaneous desires to the reality principle: to subordinate himself to the requirements of the external world with its schedules, sessions, assessments and homework.
The unconscious part of the psyche ("It") comes into conflict with the moral demands of society ("superego") and the surrounding circumstances. To reconcile this conflict is a Central part of your personality — the "Ego". Fortunately, the unconscious desire are relatively easy to sublimation, i.e. a shift to a socially acceptable purpose.
Instead strive for sexual satisfaction, we begin to desire good grades, approval of teachers and parents — as if it affects our own well-being. Forty six million five hundred thirty four thousand two hundred nine
Without the sublimation of our schools would look something like this (illustration Tom S. zaydman-Freud)
Someone sublimates easily and freely to someone is difficult. It depends on how you were able to replace external, parental control internal.
Suppressed desire, which still had no output on any level, develop into aggression and anxiety. Try to translate your desire for the learning process, and you will find it a lot more unknown pleasures.
Experience teaches that most people have a limit beyond which their Constitution refuses to follow the requirements of the culture. Anyone wishing to be more generous than allowed by their nature, fall into a neurosis; they would be better felt if they left the possibility to be worse.
Sigmund Freud, in "the Curse of virginity»
The neofreudianism
In neofreudianism the problems of the individual cannot be separated from its cultural environment. In other words, it is not enough to effectively sublimate. The regime of oppression gives rise to society, then we need to change and to cease to be functional and to strive only for high efficiency, and instead to aspire to the realization of full human potential.
If the educational system stifles your individuality, no need to put up with it.Before you enter the theatre, ask for society to be transformed on humanistic principles, otherwise classes will give you little good: you will learn destructive patterns of behaviour leading to exclusion and exploitative relations between people.
It would be wrong to regress to the satisfaction of the basic instincts — for example, instead of training sessions to indulge in walks in the fresh air and playing pokemon. In a healthy society, people would reach full expression in work and cooperation, not only in entertainment.
... modern man has extremely low self-discipline outside of the working sphere. When he's not working, he wants to be lazy, do nothing, or to put it nicer — "rest". Desire is in itself idleness is largely a reaction to the strict pattern of life.
Erich Fromm, "the Art of love»
Existential analysis
To courageously take the beginning of the school year, think about the ultimate realities of human existence — death, isolation, freedom, and inner emptiness. Only through this understanding you will learn to perceive the educational process, not as something forced and meaningless, but as a necessary condition of your being in this world.
Study how the transition from grade to grade and from course to course does not involve your personal choice. It is already done for you and you only are subject to external requirements. Hence, there is a feeling of boredom and meaninglessness. But man, according to Victor Frankl, "to its inception, imbued with the will to meaning." And this meaning can be found not within ourselves, but in the world.
Seventeen million six hundred nineteen thousand four hundred eighty two
According to Victor Frankl, the "existential vacuum manifests itself primarily in feelings of boredom»
You can go one of three ways:
- To find meaning in creation and creativity;
- To find him in gaining new experience and meeting new people;
- To make meaningful own suffering.
A third way, as Frankl indicates, you need to choose only if the first two are closed. But if your school or University, something similar to a concentration camp, it will be most welcome.
You have to understand that the whole world is a joke. Justice does not exist, everything happens by accident. Only when you understand this, you will agree that it is foolish to take seriously himself. In the universe there is a greater purpose. She was just there. It does not matter exactly how you decide to act in a particular case.
Viktor Frankl, in "Man's search for meaning»
Cognitive behavioral therapy
What's so bad in the beginning of the school year? Try to change your attitude, and after that change herself. That seemed boring and pointless stuff, you can find a lot of interesting. As pointed out by Aaron Beck, following the ancient Stoics: «It is not that the world is bad, but how often do we see it so".
We automatically interpret everything that happens around. Try to catch these thoughts by the hand, before finally to trust them: maybe you missed something? Gather evidence for and against your interpretation.
If the "see the good" does not work, remember that any suffering has its own time frame. Classes will end soon, the evening will be free from this nonsense, and after a couple of months will be a vacation... don't be so categorical in their judgments — remember that they can easily change. If learning is associated with pain and stress, think about the delicious scones in the dining room or on the wonderful people with whom you would otherwise never have met.If you think that the studies do not make any sense and a waste of time, it is likely that it will be.
Also interesting: the School, nostalgic
The burden of knowledge: as doubt help us to grow
However, "positive thinking" is not necessarily a good solution. No need to embellish the boring classes; in this case it is better to find the meaning somewhere else.
thoughts cause feelings, and many emotions that you experience are determined by the thoughts, however fleeting they may be. In other words, by themselves, events are not painted emotionally. How you interpret them that makes you experience certain feelings.
M. McKay, M. Davis, P. fanning, "How to beat stress and depression»
Author: Oleg Bocharnikov
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: newtonew.com/discussions/how-to-archive-acceptance