I'll start a little distance. My daughter almost did not go to school early development. I dealt with it myself. When we trained hand in front of the school, our notebook looked like this:
You see the difference? I'm not stressed her red paste error. I highlighted in green paste the letters and hooks, which were obtained from her well. She is very fond of and always after each line asked: "Mom, what has turned out better than anyone else?" And so happy when I trace the best letter with the words: "Perfect!"
What is the difference between the approaches? Understood already?
1. In the first case, focus on mistakes. What is deposited in your photomemory? That's right, those letters clumsily written, what is wrong. Have you seen these red underscores perfectly written letters? No! Whether we like it or not, but subconsciously we remember what is allocated.
2. In the second case, we focus on what has been done right! We get a very different emotions, different perception. Whether we like it or not, but subconsciously we strive to repeat what was perfect! It is a different intrinsic motivation - the desire not to avoid errors, and the desire to do well
As errors in a notebook affect the number of divorces
And now attention, the answer to the question: how isolated errors in a notebook affect the number of divorces
The answer is obvious to me. We are accustomed from childhood to focus on the shortcomings, on what is wrong, on what seems bad. We are accustomed to this school with red paste, we are accustomed to it at home when the comments often made of what has been done wrong than praised for what we have done well.
Of the 20 written in a series of hooks underlined there was only one. Those. 19 were written well, and 1 - imperfect. Why do we focus on this one ???
In the life of the spouses is often the same thing happens. The spouse can have 19 different qualities, but a quarrel happens because the one that you have highlighted in red for myself.
Here is this habit (highlighted in red is bad), we sharpen since childhood and which will not erase from our minds in adulthood, and become the most frequent cause of divorce in the family!
What focus, and grows. What directed attention, then increases.
I have talked with so many couples on the relationship that the lost count. And 99% of couples (even those that seem to be ideal), the same problem - a red paste on the nature of the spouse
If I were the Minister of Education, I would have changed a lot in the school system. Since childhood, it all starts from childhood, we drag into adulthood all of our habits and skills and not all of them serve us in good stead.
Introducing the principle of "green paste" with my daughter, I saw that even if I did not point out her mistakes, they gradually go away by itself, because it tends to do very well itself, of their own free will!
And now I invite you to do two things:
1. To analyze the nature of her husband's book and think what toothpaste do you use .... And for those who are especially appreciate the relationship I propose to do so in writing and practicing the technique in a week.
2. If you are doing with your child at home, use green paste and concentrated his attention on the fact that good!
I wish you all the harmony! Appreciate your spouse, love them, and discard the red paste of my life!
Author: Tatyana Ivanko