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How to become a man: 5 basic stages of development of the psyche
The life of every man is a heroic journey, he starts a little boy and can finish a mature man, conscious of its integrity and value. In this way, every man to go through 5 basic stages of mental development.
Stage 1. Getting rid of the mother complex
I think that there is no son who, by becoming man, would not be severed at any time relationship with his mother. Left with her son never get rid of the mother complex. Son, you need to listen to your own voice, and allow it to be louder than the mother's voice. Often the mother is doing everything to keep him. For example, it implies the idea of devotion itself, but if the idea gets hold of the son completely, it's over the fact that the masculine seriously hurt.
The future man should avoid it and leave the mother, even if at some moment such an act will seem a betrayal. The mother has to stand the pain. However, later the son may return to establish the relationship with the mother of an entirely different level. But this will only happen after your own son to become independent and learn how to establish an emotional relationship with their peers.
Often a mother complex strongly supported by the mother, who does not understand what it means to be a woman, a person, because never felt such - only mother. For her role means removing the psychological death, so it all means clinging to his son as the only meaning of life. In such a situation for his son to get rid of the mother-complex becomes a fundamental task, without which it is impossible to complete the development of both men.
Stage 2. Mastering his aggression
It is the conversion of a teenager into a man. Aggression, the force of instinct, a huge male energy, to wake up in the soul of the boy should strengthen his ego. In the future, this energy is required all the way of formation, so it is important to learn how to use it. If a man is not very reflective, he would rasplёskivat this energy all his life, showing teenage desire to compete in everything, whatever he was doing.
Another option is the wrong treatment of aggression - its suppression. This often occurs under the influence of the maternal plant on inadmissibility of manifestations of male aggression.
To the boy became a man, he should be able to master their own aggression. He can not become a man, not understanding what it means to be aggressive, but aggression is to be governed in accordance with its conscious setting. If he is ruled by his own rage and the desire for violence, it can destroy it. Therefore, every boy on your way to a mature man must learn to control his aggression, violence and the desire to be able to integrate this formidable masculine part into a coherent, aware of itself personality.
Bold look at its aggressive part, not fogged alien plants, allowing it to recognize negative, potentially destructive part. Ego boys going to have to be strong enough to cope with his own rage and consciously use the information contained in it the energy to overcome the obstacles on the way to achieving the goals.
The first fight, which must withstand the boy - it is an internal battle with his own shadow, which focuses suppressed aggression and potential power. At the same time, very few boys manage to win only in the domestic fight. To strengthen masculinity is often necessary to have and to overcome external obstacles, mobilize the will and claiming identity.
Stage 3. Gaining self-image of masculinity
Manliness, which at the beginning of its path shows the boy goes to his father. Wanting to be like a man, the son is trying to act as a father, but leaves a pathetic imitation. At this stage, the formation of self-conscious attitude towards masculinity, which is different from his father. Only in this case, the boy will be able to appropriate masculinity, which he will continue to accompany and serve as a support for life. For the successful completion of this phase may require a different father, for example, or the spiritual godfather.
The essence of this stage in obtaining the blessing of their own lives from the father, the liberation from the father or brother of influence. As they get older youth should leave the family, joining the struggle for their freedom with every member of their own family or with someone else, if that someone replaces in this fight father or brother.
If a man has a sudden there is a conflict at work, it often indicates that there are still emotionally strained relationship with his father or brother, despite the fact that adolescence far behind.
Stage 4. Establishing contact with the inner woman
Few men are sufficiently informed about the inner feminine component of their souls, Yeshe less - in contact with it. Jung called this sensual part of man's soul, "anima". The desire of men to internal development helps him recognize his anima, but other than that, the man must learn not to succumb to the mood and emotional state, and not to indulge his own whims.
A major step in this stage - to learn to come into contact with the anima, see it as an internal female companion, a female friend who would go to a man's hand in hand and warm life. The man has only two possibilities: either he rejects her femininity, and this rejection turns against him in the form of bouts of bad temper or inaccessible to him temptations, or accepts it and establishes relationships with female life beginning, and it fills his life with warmth and strength. If a man is in harmony with his inner woman, he had no problems in communicating with women.
Stage 5. Awareness of their own meaning of life
The stage at which the man already has the necessary resources and effort to answer the important question of his life. This is the moment the realization that man is unique and alone in his quest. An energetic man stops active in the external world and temporarily withdraws into himself. This is the time to reach the maturity of the male psyche.
A man is ready to accept his loneliness, to which it condemns a journey to find answers about the meaning of life. He is unable to leave the compulsive conviction that this meaning is only in his personal happiness.
When preparing to use the book Jungian analyst Robert Alex Johnson "He is: the deeper aspects of male psychology» (Robert A. Johnson 'He: Understanding Masculine Psychology').
Stage 1. Getting rid of the mother complex
I think that there is no son who, by becoming man, would not be severed at any time relationship with his mother. Left with her son never get rid of the mother complex. Son, you need to listen to your own voice, and allow it to be louder than the mother's voice. Often the mother is doing everything to keep him. For example, it implies the idea of devotion itself, but if the idea gets hold of the son completely, it's over the fact that the masculine seriously hurt.
The future man should avoid it and leave the mother, even if at some moment such an act will seem a betrayal. The mother has to stand the pain. However, later the son may return to establish the relationship with the mother of an entirely different level. But this will only happen after your own son to become independent and learn how to establish an emotional relationship with their peers.
Often a mother complex strongly supported by the mother, who does not understand what it means to be a woman, a person, because never felt such - only mother. For her role means removing the psychological death, so it all means clinging to his son as the only meaning of life. In such a situation for his son to get rid of the mother-complex becomes a fundamental task, without which it is impossible to complete the development of both men.
Stage 2. Mastering his aggression
It is the conversion of a teenager into a man. Aggression, the force of instinct, a huge male energy, to wake up in the soul of the boy should strengthen his ego. In the future, this energy is required all the way of formation, so it is important to learn how to use it. If a man is not very reflective, he would rasplёskivat this energy all his life, showing teenage desire to compete in everything, whatever he was doing.
Another option is the wrong treatment of aggression - its suppression. This often occurs under the influence of the maternal plant on inadmissibility of manifestations of male aggression.
To the boy became a man, he should be able to master their own aggression. He can not become a man, not understanding what it means to be aggressive, but aggression is to be governed in accordance with its conscious setting. If he is ruled by his own rage and the desire for violence, it can destroy it. Therefore, every boy on your way to a mature man must learn to control his aggression, violence and the desire to be able to integrate this formidable masculine part into a coherent, aware of itself personality.
Bold look at its aggressive part, not fogged alien plants, allowing it to recognize negative, potentially destructive part. Ego boys going to have to be strong enough to cope with his own rage and consciously use the information contained in it the energy to overcome the obstacles on the way to achieving the goals.
The first fight, which must withstand the boy - it is an internal battle with his own shadow, which focuses suppressed aggression and potential power. At the same time, very few boys manage to win only in the domestic fight. To strengthen masculinity is often necessary to have and to overcome external obstacles, mobilize the will and claiming identity.
Stage 3. Gaining self-image of masculinity
Manliness, which at the beginning of its path shows the boy goes to his father. Wanting to be like a man, the son is trying to act as a father, but leaves a pathetic imitation. At this stage, the formation of self-conscious attitude towards masculinity, which is different from his father. Only in this case, the boy will be able to appropriate masculinity, which he will continue to accompany and serve as a support for life. For the successful completion of this phase may require a different father, for example, or the spiritual godfather.
The essence of this stage in obtaining the blessing of their own lives from the father, the liberation from the father or brother of influence. As they get older youth should leave the family, joining the struggle for their freedom with every member of their own family or with someone else, if that someone replaces in this fight father or brother.
If a man has a sudden there is a conflict at work, it often indicates that there are still emotionally strained relationship with his father or brother, despite the fact that adolescence far behind.
Stage 4. Establishing contact with the inner woman
Few men are sufficiently informed about the inner feminine component of their souls, Yeshe less - in contact with it. Jung called this sensual part of man's soul, "anima". The desire of men to internal development helps him recognize his anima, but other than that, the man must learn not to succumb to the mood and emotional state, and not to indulge his own whims.
A major step in this stage - to learn to come into contact with the anima, see it as an internal female companion, a female friend who would go to a man's hand in hand and warm life. The man has only two possibilities: either he rejects her femininity, and this rejection turns against him in the form of bouts of bad temper or inaccessible to him temptations, or accepts it and establishes relationships with female life beginning, and it fills his life with warmth and strength. If a man is in harmony with his inner woman, he had no problems in communicating with women.
Stage 5. Awareness of their own meaning of life
The stage at which the man already has the necessary resources and effort to answer the important question of his life. This is the moment the realization that man is unique and alone in his quest. An energetic man stops active in the external world and temporarily withdraws into himself. This is the time to reach the maturity of the male psyche.
A man is ready to accept his loneliness, to which it condemns a journey to find answers about the meaning of life. He is unable to leave the compulsive conviction that this meaning is only in his personal happiness.
When preparing to use the book Jungian analyst Robert Alex Johnson "He is: the deeper aspects of male psychology» (Robert A. Johnson 'He: Understanding Masculine Psychology').
