Naturally, all individually, but the average woman - more emotional creature who on that to come to a logical conclusion, it takes longer. For the gap between feeling and thought it time to commit follies and spoil communication.
In the light of lack of experience, and features of education some girls live exclusively in this interval of time to argue they do not ever, because overtakes another emotion or imagination, and the cycle starts from the beginning.
Boring by nature men do not tend to build castles in the air inside, and live in a geometrically simple world seemingly obvious realities. To get out of the gloom, a woman is accustomed to inhibit their emotional processes and boost mental, and at first even mindlessly follow rules from Aunt psychologist.
1. Every moment remember what the purpose of your relationship with a man
In normal people, the purpose of relationships - to provide maximum comfort for a long time, that is, do yourself and your partner happy. Here and repeat it to yourself every time you have to hunt to teach, to heal, to criticize your guy, take it out on him during PMS, violently jealous, try to find out about his leisure, to express an opinion about his friends, arguing about politics, religion and the color of his pants.
Should your rightness or interest in a particular situation of peace and joy, which you deprive a partner?
At the therapy session, I listen to a couple, and each separately, so that's not going to antietichnuyu specifics, but conforming to the spirit of freedom, I can say that about two-thirds of the sources of conflict are described by the scheme "a woman came up with the problem of the blue and fanned lack of response to her man to scale
2. Praise him
If he is not worth praise and does everything crooked, what the hell do you do next with this loser? Go away, do not prolong the agony for each other, see section 1. Do not be grumpy for his mother, a strict boss, capricious daughter - all of these incarnations take only positive components:.. A constant but unobtrusive care, interest in his growth, his admiration steepness.
Many childhood heard the expression, "to praise - has deteriorated," so that's a myth, an adult sane man to praise is impossible, he has self-strap. And praise - not to flatter, it means to look at him with a desire to see the good. Praise all pleasant, do not take it for service, you - there are more smart people, with whom he will communicate
3. Do not humiliate him and not on skandalte
Showdown in public places - a taboo, because the public image of respectability and reliability is much more important for men than for women, which in the current social system can still afford to be pretty frivolous fluff
When the "half" the most trusted person begins to undermine the authority of the men in front of his friends, colleagues or the crowd in the subway, it is perceived as a stab in the back. This often forgiven, but never forgotten.
To make a man lose face - one of the greatest strategic blunders woman in a relationship. You do the call, do not hesitate. So wait with claims to the house, cool down at the same time, to interpret them, see. P. 1.
4. Do not use appeals to him
Vitya, chick, kotinka, hare, and Masya lapulya - it's not your guy who sees himself in dreams. It's as if he began to call you "mother", "friend", "an ordinary Jane." Presented? Forget about the diminutive suffix forever endearing reserved for particularly udavshegosya sex.
5. Maintain its beginnings, even the most idiotic
When he takes your wedding rings, even a little bit to play on the machines is one thing. When he is interested in ice fishing, playing the trombone, embroidery cross, biathlon, collecting garden gnomes, selling adzhika own seamer over the Internet -. It is quite another
The desire to meet with hostility, new initiatives in the nature of every human being, because any system tends to keep his balance, but then you have to be smarter than nature. Based on a realistic assessment of the maximum possible damage to you personally and obschesemeynomu welfare.
You feel sorry for a couple thousand dollars for a loved one happy with the fish, and then you wonder how vehemently he hates your trips to the shoe store? Well gnomes cluttering the hallway and two balconies, and what is the truth so badly? Again: do not vote and do not support you - it will make someone else, and in this moment you are Depart
6. The most stunning views - for him, not for a meeting
Hunter syndrome is winning, losing interest in the game caught, peculiar to women no less than men. What you zahomutat it in cohabitation or to tie the knot, it does not mean that it is now forever in love with you.
Yes, it's gone, vile and trite, but about half of my male patients complained of facts prenebreganiya woman in their appearance after the relationship entered a stable track. If he was fascinated by a physicist with gray hair, wearing a brown plaid waistcoat worn and top-boots, he knew what he was talking.
But once you are in the wedding photo blonde curls and rosettes, and now bobbed something in a convenient overalls, do not blame me if you cease to be perceived as an attractive female. Especially, when you paint on corporate parties and buy a new dress and go home a la naturel in the same gentle pastel things (that male eye perceives as pale and asexual). It's very simple, but the women do not cease to make that mistake. You do not have to love the way you have (and you do not have to love a priori, see. P. 1).
head and point
Seriously, it's so convenient. The main problem is in trying to feminists, figuratively speaking, to unload the wagons, when instead you can dance.
Evolution Is, social attitudes and education in most families, but the role of a man grown to problem solver, a leader, captain and so on. It does not humiliate you, if you do not decide what you want to be humiliated. One girl perceives filed arm when leaving the bus as the gallantry, and the other - as an allusion to her inability to jump over a puddle due to physical weakness short legs. It is clear which one enjoys socializing with the opposite sex, and which is suffering from the oppression of the chauvinists. And it's for you to decide which girl to be.
Give him a joy to be strong, act, think and play the first fiddle. Give a man to lead, and the dance work. Let it is not always right, you can then quietly fix the situation: even when in fact you are doing the lion's share, if you love your partner - to simulate the painting "you're my hero, I'm just waiting in the wings" will have no truda.Realizuyte their will to power elsewhere.
8. Talk about the important things directly, without a hint
Men understand the hints, but more often it hints of other men or those hints that it is beneficial to understand. They (except perhaps the Japanese) do not talk about the fact Aesopian language. When your husband wants to sell the client batch of motorcycles, he said: "We have a well-known brand, the warranty period the average for the market, and for the wholesale we will let us remove 7%" and not "faded autumn leaf on a lonely elm that hill bleak increased and it is time to harness the iron horse reasonable creature, and these places to escape quickly to the south. »
Therefore presented in simple, but not globally, not "just say you stopped loving me, huh?", But "I'm tired of your collecting worms for ice fishing throughout the house, not to do my mom raised, hiring a maid».
9. Do not place it in the center of his universe and do not ask him to put you in the center of its
I mean not sincerely care about the needs of each other and the depth of love and demands attention for detail. Half-hour talk on the phone and VKontakte five times a day about anything annoy almost any man. Psychological dependence on his views of flattering him, but also annoying.
Therefore, do not attempt formally to dedicate my life, it's great scares and accusations of negligence in conjunction with meaningless emotional manifestations very quickly tired him, and you'll be crying and shout "ungrateful, I gave him all of myself." All you even do not need, be honest. And so it is clearly reasonable to offer the tastiest part.
10. Learn to cook
And cook. It is not discussed. The equivalent of "it does not prepare" for your understanding - is "he brings home less money than she." Well, we have the same equal rights, you're wanted?. »
Author: Natalia Belousova