The real and only cause of all divorces

There is one really important reason why the break up of the family and there was no one-year otnosheniya.O that causes the collapse of most romantic relationships, says an expert on family relationships Kevin Thompson.


I am convinced that the number one cause of divorce - it's not cheating, not financial problems and irreconcilable differences in the characters. All this is only the symptoms of a much more profound problem.

It seems to me that the main difficulty for the participants love relationships - the reluctance to invest in their marriage. On this subject, you can arrange endless debate. People interested in interest in investing in the marriage because of the fact that no longer love each other? Or maybe they no longer love each other because of their laziness?

Anyway, many studies on this subject show that we can influence our emotions, deliberately investing in them more effort than usual.

As you know, we begin to love what we got expensive. If you have saved for a new car two years, you probably will love it too much. It is the same with relationships: the flame of love you need to constantly maintain a "wood" of care and grooming. We love all that spend their time, energy and money. Passion, interest and affection will never occur to the fact that you got for free and without effort.

Think about what this means for marriage. You will become to love your spouse, if you make an effort to ensure that live in harmony with it. The quality of your marriage - is the result of you make an effort. If you are constantly quarrel and can not stand each other, then most likely, it's not that you no longer love. The fact that you did not want to keep the flame of love.

On the other hand, it also means that if your feelings for your partner weakened, they can still be saved.

Every week I talk with spouses who have something went wrong. Usually after the first session, I give all the same advice: on the way home to retell each other stories about your first date. And that you then attracted to each other. It is also useful to recall that any common dreams you had a few years ago.

It's like archeology. Sometimes you have to dig this well in the depths of his soul, to find a long-excavating buried feelings and memories. Simple memories of how you once were good, make you feel again the love and attraction to each other.

But what if everything is much more complicated?

I suggest that you repeat every day five simple procedures that can restore the love between you and your spouse.

1. Ask the spouse as he was the day

It does not need him. It is necessary for you. You must remind yourself every day that you are not just hard. Show interest in his life. Be interested in what happens to him after he steps over the threshold of the apartment.

2. Always kiss him at the meeting and parting

Kiss - is a powerful incentive for the physical and emotional bonds between people. He also serves as a reminder that you are still husband and wife. Kiss the wife, when he goes to work, and when he returns to it. Turn it into a habit. Even routine.

3. Write it

Ask your spouse about how he passes the day. Perhaps right now it feels particularly depressed. And the emotional needs an alliance with those who support it.

Of course, the call may not always be appropriate. So do not hesitate to write him a declaration of love to elektronku. Or write it in to Skype.

4. Talk. At least five minutes a day

Any relationship requires conversations. No time during the day? Talk to at least five minutes a day at bedtime. Or breakfast: do not chew silently. Turn off the TV, hang up. Just talk to those with whom you are close now.

It can be difficult - especially when your children need constant attention. And yet, you have to find time for your partner - regardless of your employment.

5. hugs.

At least 30 seconds once a day.

Before you leave for work, sit down or lie down to sleep, cuddle with your spouse. Physical force embraces your soul and mind to establish a deep connection with another person.

Studies show that hugs lower blood pressure, as well as connect you with the person with whom you embrace. You have even improved on their memory! Physical touch - it's not just ...

Your marriage does not require anything other than the intention to fix it. Happy family - one where both partners understand how easy it is to lose what they have. Marriage destroys not treason, and apathy.

Author: Konstantin Shiyan