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How did your parents influence your relationship with the opposite sex
Often, talking with friends, I hear about the problems in dealing with a loved one. Since I am in this topic varyus a long time, then immediately I guess the story of parental influence.
The situation №1:
"He takes me to fit in many ways, I'm holding for a long time, but then can not stand. It calms down only when I nakrichit him. After that, he suddenly just in a good mood, and he gives me gifts, makes
compliments. "
What is the background there may be: a boy deprived of attention mothers, it lacks love and affection. But the only way to get the mother's attention - it's hard to anger or frighten her. In the end, he achieves what mom yells at him, forgetting all his affairs. At this point, all 100% attention is paid to the child. Some part of you boy calms down: Mama postponed everything and give it your attention. It is important to her, she loves him, she emotes. Secured habit output woman on emotions, to get a sense of security and love.
And how you sought love and attention of their parents?
The situation №2:
"I can not, when in a relationship all is well. If we are happy for a long time, I will ruin everything. Naidu, what is it to blame, will make jealous or arrange a scandal out of nothing. When too long so good, I just want to throw it. »
The child grows in a family where abuse between parents is the norm. The child is under stress, when such situations occur, but then mom hugs baby girl, trying to calm and to show that all is well. In the end, the parents disagree. The initiator of the divorce was a mother, and a sense of injustice ... hung in the air. "Why did it happen? What did I do wrong? "The daughter is growing with this drama within themselves, and she can not bear to a successful relationship with a man. She subconsciously will finish building them up to the model that has been in the parents. She will look for men who behave like dad. And if they behave too well, it will provoke conflicts.
And which model of relations on the fact you seek? What type of men you choose yourself?
The situation №3:
"I'm afraid to be weak and to trust him. It's not about pride. I think if I do that, then everything will collapse. I'm much calmer when I can rely on themselves rather than on someone
another. "
The girl lived in a family where the mother keeps all, and his father - no one. Just drink, or morally weak person who "all gave up." When my mother the girl will grow accustomed to receive all the benefits of their own, then you imagine how difficult it may seem the idea of becoming weak and trust someone? It's not just in the sense of fear so unusual and "dangerous," "leap into the abyss." If she begins to build another scenario, not like my mother, and it will work, it will also mean that the mother was not allowed. Recognize that mom is not right, and start to build a fundamentally different kind of life - it's like to get away from the family. For some, it is psychologically difficult.
Are you ready to admit wrong someone from their parents and act fundamentally differently?
My interpretation may be wrong, most importantly, to see the mechanism: the relationship between your parents and relations with parents that I had experienced - can shape your relationship with the opposite sex
. It is necessary to detect and remove these scripts from their psychological charge to build the relationships that you want. Those relationships that are not based on someone's childhood experiences and frustrations, and will be based on your creative personality and the desire to create love.
It does not matter, you can see the problem in yourself or your loved one. Everything works mirror, so any problem can be solved by working on it themselves.
The situation №1:
"He takes me to fit in many ways, I'm holding for a long time, but then can not stand. It calms down only when I nakrichit him. After that, he suddenly just in a good mood, and he gives me gifts, makes
compliments. "
What is the background there may be: a boy deprived of attention mothers, it lacks love and affection. But the only way to get the mother's attention - it's hard to anger or frighten her. In the end, he achieves what mom yells at him, forgetting all his affairs. At this point, all 100% attention is paid to the child. Some part of you boy calms down: Mama postponed everything and give it your attention. It is important to her, she loves him, she emotes. Secured habit output woman on emotions, to get a sense of security and love.
And how you sought love and attention of their parents?
The situation №2:
"I can not, when in a relationship all is well. If we are happy for a long time, I will ruin everything. Naidu, what is it to blame, will make jealous or arrange a scandal out of nothing. When too long so good, I just want to throw it. »
The child grows in a family where abuse between parents is the norm. The child is under stress, when such situations occur, but then mom hugs baby girl, trying to calm and to show that all is well. In the end, the parents disagree. The initiator of the divorce was a mother, and a sense of injustice ... hung in the air. "Why did it happen? What did I do wrong? "The daughter is growing with this drama within themselves, and she can not bear to a successful relationship with a man. She subconsciously will finish building them up to the model that has been in the parents. She will look for men who behave like dad. And if they behave too well, it will provoke conflicts.
And which model of relations on the fact you seek? What type of men you choose yourself?
The situation №3:
"I'm afraid to be weak and to trust him. It's not about pride. I think if I do that, then everything will collapse. I'm much calmer when I can rely on themselves rather than on someone
another. "
The girl lived in a family where the mother keeps all, and his father - no one. Just drink, or morally weak person who "all gave up." When my mother the girl will grow accustomed to receive all the benefits of their own, then you imagine how difficult it may seem the idea of becoming weak and trust someone? It's not just in the sense of fear so unusual and "dangerous," "leap into the abyss." If she begins to build another scenario, not like my mother, and it will work, it will also mean that the mother was not allowed. Recognize that mom is not right, and start to build a fundamentally different kind of life - it's like to get away from the family. For some, it is psychologically difficult.
Are you ready to admit wrong someone from their parents and act fundamentally differently?
My interpretation may be wrong, most importantly, to see the mechanism: the relationship between your parents and relations with parents that I had experienced - can shape your relationship with the opposite sex
. It is necessary to detect and remove these scripts from their psychological charge to build the relationships that you want. Those relationships that are not based on someone's childhood experiences and frustrations, and will be based on your creative personality and the desire to create love.
It does not matter, you can see the problem in yourself or your loved one. Everything works mirror, so any problem can be solved by working on it themselves.
