Website translation of an article published Brooke Hampton, writer, loving mother and founder of natural foods stores in Texas. Article provocative, but useful. Especially if you are tired of suffering in relationships.
I'm not a big fan of marriage h3> I believe that marriage puts talented visionaries who are able to change the world into a conventional institution, where they then spend an enormous amount of time, emotions, "magic" and valuable energy trying to be "good" citizen and to live according to the illusion of the ideal family, which so successfully implemented in our heads. In addition, the marriage succeeded in creating a fatal sense of ownership in relation to another soul simply because once he or she said "yes", we have put a ring on my finger and signed the document, which states that we will never give up. (Have you ever noticed how crazy it all looks?)
One of the biggest deceptions, the victim of which we can be - the idea that we need someone else in your life to be whole. We are waiting for the coming of Mr. or Mrs., to finally start our life and be truly happy.
I live with my man for 15 years, and we are still really, really like each other. In many ways it happened due to the fact that each of us is alone, creating a light, helping each other to achieve our personal goals. We are incredibly different, but none of us are fighting for the right to change the other. We respect and value each other as we are. We do not need each other. We enjoy each other. That's a big difference. The most unromantic words in the world "you complete me" - I just want to cry when I hear them at weddings. I want to complement itself.
Rotating around its axis, until you reach harmony with itself and can not create magic alone. Then you, if you want to attract someone who will rotate with you. As a result, the world will get two beautiful souls who rotate separately, but in perfect harmony ... that's where the magic happens!
What about the children? h3> I do not believe that we were meant to have children and raise a family, as it imposes on us the culture. Once you have decided to have children, then yes, it is helpful to find someone who will gladly help you to be ready to give an unborn child the best life possible. This does not mean that both have to live under the same roof, but it means that you are determined to work together for the sake of the children the necessary support so that they grow up healthy, confident and emotionally stable members of society.
If you are married, because that would ... Wonderful! Just make sure your expectations are realistic, be open and honest in what you feel. The situation is unhealthy, if long-running relationship someone feels trapped and unhappy. That's why we have so many injuries related to relationships that did not work out - mother, father, first love, and so on. D. Fairy-tale image of how love should look like, proved false, and we were defeated.
Do not marry a kindred souls h3> Billy (my man) - a very good friend. He thinks I'm wonderful, amazing and incredibly attractive. He is always ready to help and support me, and the last he would do anyway. He is a wonderful father and friend. We are perfect for each other in all respects. We emphasize the best in us almost always. We do not cling to each other and can be left alone, even though they would prefer to be together. Our relationship is easy and nullify shit. Billy gentle, calm ... absolutely wonderful, and I love it, but it's not my soul mate, as is usually understood - the mystical, the ancient connection from past lives. Together we have created a totally unique alliance, the meaning of which is also exceptional in its own way.
What are soul mates? They exist? Each of us answer this question based on their own beliefs. Personally, I believe that soul mates - the people who are ideally combined with us, to help us grow. But they do not have to be our lovers. This realization is very important for us. In our culture, we seem to be struggling with the understanding of the deep relationship that non-sexual or unromantic, but have a great goal. Any close relationship between two people priori romantic, right? No. In this wild world there are countless connections.
And I believe that there are soul mates and appear in our life when it is most needed. They come to encourage us, challenge us, like a mirror to show us our faults, we have to wake up and get going forward. And, frankly, we should not marry such persons. Because then we uvyaznem in creating the perfect marriage (God knows what that means), and forget what our souls were connected from the outset.
We all too easily forget that our job - to help develop each other as quickly as possible, not to torment each other in these weird roles that a husband and wife are forced to play. Because who knows what it looks like for each of us.
There is the idea that a person must meet all of our needs. And in general, she provides us with all the suffering and frustration. Instead, why do not we just think about that for which we want to create a relationship with the other person and what their purpose is. Then the universe will give us the perfect choice for this purpose. And if the goal - a great sex and traveling around the world, you get a completely different person, different from what you could get a family. If in doubt, just take my word for it. A clear understanding of our desires - this is the first step to being able to create the most magical Union.
Look, actually, I'm not an expert, and I, of course, she is unable to cope with everything, what I'm saying. I know one thing for sure, and the reality is that what I do works. How much do you know the happy couple? Good. How many among them those with more than a few years old, and had children? They should not just be comfortable together, we are talking about true happiness. It all makes us think that we are somewhere wrong. We are constantly in search of a crazy, wild, passionate love of our lives, to stay with her at all costs, until death do us part. Perhaps this is just a guess, we should look for something quite the opposite.
Let's rewrite the normality! h3> Let's rethink parenthood, friendship, love, partnership, communication, associations kindred souls, life and marriage and create something that will work, that suits our hearts and souls, without fear and without fear of violating norm.
Because if nobody told you this before, the concept of standards greatly overrated.
Author Brooke Hampton, source Adme.ru
via factroom.ru
