Sc.D., professor of Moscow State University. Lomonosov Yuliya Gippenreyter knows what needs to be done to both children and their parents were happy. His invaluable experience she shares in the books, lectures, seminars and publications. < Website I have selected 17 statements experienced Russian psychologist to help our children to understand.
About education
- Raising a child - it's not taming. The parents are not there to develop in children the conditioned reflexes.
- I do not like the verb " educate ». It is too often associated with such actions as to force, compel, demand control check. Therefore it is better to say no to "educate" and "Rast". It helps grow. To someday the child grew and was able to live among other people on their own.
- Think of Michelangelo's fresco of God Created by Adam. Their hands are about to meet; powerful, muscular hand of God rushes to the outstretched hand of Adam. Adult - the carrier of knowledge, wisdom, ethical principles. He sends all his child.
When the child has grown and can live independently, an adult should push his hand. Because the hand of the child has already found its own power. He is an individual person. Parental mission is over Education - it is child abuse. Each child a process of reflection, its rate of development , growth. We can not interfere in this process, the more messy intervene. This means to break it! Parents should be helpers: it's like a plant - it needs to feed, protect, and do not pull the apex, take your time. Disobedience - the only thing that a child may oppose wrong Treatment with him. angry, to get attention, - very much so typical for children. Teenage fashion similar to chickenpox - Many children pick up and carry it in a more or less serious form, and in a few years themselves smiling, looking back. But God forbid, parents at this time to enter into a protracted conflict with his son or daughter. Discipline not before, but after the establishment of good relations , and only on the basis of them. < / Your baby needs a negative experience , of course, if he did not threaten his life or health. Allow your child to meet the negative consequences of their actions (or its omission). Only then it will grow and become "conscious». Children often think that their parents - "Iron Felix» , just because the parents are not used to talking about himself. Therefore, it is important to talk with your child about what we feel: "You know, I was hurt to hear it." The conclusion he made himself. The main thing - to be sincere and not to manipulate his feelings. Self-esteem of the child measured his actions
But the child can not live with a bad opinion of himself, he turned on the mechanism of self-salvation. As the dog of herbs, a teenager looking for a place to get the approval, support, recognition. He is looking for somewhere authoritative opinion, and from a bandit, it comes or father - he does not care. The school as an organization is not interested in the development of creative thinking and the child's independence When a child is forced, threatened, when the teacher says: "I do not translate to the next grade" or "All the learned, and why are you so stupid?" - In the child's fear and instill a sense of inferiority. He lost the energy, the desire to do something. Therefore, parents have to make a choice: either stand on the side of the school, or to the side of the child. Inspire - that is the task of the adult. If the school does not do this, it means that parents have to do - at least the first steps in this direction. To release the child from prinudilovki, tell him: "You do not have». One of the participants of my workshops told me that it caused a teacher and began to scold her son: he is so-and-so, He and the fifth and tenth. But this mom just said: "You know, Nina, I love my boy!" And Nina stopped. This is one answer. There is another opposite. "Thank you all told me this, I see your strong desire to help my child get out of this unpleasant situation. I'll do what you told me. " Then come in and say, "You must have noticed an improvement, and I am too. I am sure this is due to your efforts. " Teachers are people too The school - it's time. And your relationship with the child - forever.
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