Odessa sarcasm post

Odessa - a special city. On the unique humor and slang, famous of its inhabitants were legends, write books and make films. Casual conversations Odessites deserve special attention - these people just never climb into his pocket for labels and sneering words.

Website wit delights residents of Odessa and believes that they can learn exactly ironic attitude to life.



- Sam, look at these calloused hands! This person does not want to work as a head ...



- Fima, how you look at it, shoby drink?
- Look closely. - Monya, shares Are you my opinion?
- Yes, dear, even as the share, as much as two. Part of the first reject completely, well, the second did not agree - absolutely! On Privoz:
- Can you tell me how much meat?
- Why do not say we did quarrel? - Helmet, why are you so sad?
- My sofa with children goes to the sea for three weeks!
- Shaw, I do not understand ...
- So, if I'm not sad, she changes her mind. - Izzy, do you know why you need a honeymoon?
- Well, it Schaub you understand, sho got involved.



- Fima, where's my bike?
- I throw it out! Tormented by this stupid illusion that you are still going away ... Odessa. Market. Woman long eyeing the fish on the tray.
Finally, ask the seller:
- And how much do you want for this farce? - Dad, what's next - the Moon or Berdichev?
- Do not take mine down! Come to the window. See the moon?
- Yes, I see.
- A Berdichev? - Mom, give me the money for the flowers - I go on a date with a girl!
- Sam, you're crazy not to stop that! What a bunch of roses? It is 3 days - spiny broom! It is better to give a girl my geraniums - will breathe from her mole! - Washing dishes infringes on my manhood!
- Sam, I'm begging you, did it my hands!



- Abraham, give a loan of 100 rubles!
- I have so many - there are only 80.
- Well, let 80 - 20 will have. - Monya, well, as you can walk the entire salary for one day ?!
- Take the money, let's show you! - What are you beautiful teeth!
- It's from my mother.
- Taki fortunate to have come. - It is difficult to us Jews, everything in this life is given ...
- It is hard to - sigh second. - But all. - Mony, you live by the law or conscience?
- According to the situation ... - Dad, I still can not marry Izya viyti: he is an atheist and did not believe in the existence of Hell.
- Taki vihodi boldly Sarochka: vie with mom bistro prove it, it is very wrong sho ...



The wedding ceremony:
- Do you agree to marry this woman?
- And sho, you have to offer something better? - It is true that in Odessa always answer a question with a question?
- Who told you that?! - Oh, your Abramchik face - the spitting image of the pope!
- It's not scary, it would be healthy! We talked two Jews: single and married. Blank says:
- Marriage - it's such a marina, where there are two ships.
Married:
- And one, I just met with a military cruiser!



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