Odessa sarcasm post

Odessa - a special city. On the unique humor and slang, famous of its inhabitants were legends, write books and make films. Casual conversations Odessites deserve special attention - these people just never climb into his pocket for labels and sneering words.

Website

• - Sam, look at these calloused hands! This person does not want to work as a head ...
  
  
  
  
  • - Fima, how you look at it, shoby drink?
    - Look closely. - Monya, shares Are you my opinion?
    - Yes, dear, even as the share, as much as two. Part of the first reject completely, well, the second did not agree - absolutely!
  • On Privoz:
    - Can you tell me how much meat?
    - Why do not say we did quarrel? - Helmet, why are you so sad?
    - My sofa with children goes to the sea for three weeks!
    - Shaw, I do not understand ...
    - So, if I'm not sad, she changes her mind. - Izzy, do you know why you need a honeymoon?
    - Well, it Schaub you understand, sho got involved.
    
    
    
    
    • - Fima, where's my bike?
      - I throw it out! Tormented by this stupid illusion that you are still going away ...
    • Odessa. Market. Woman long eyeing the fish on the tray.
      Finally, ask the seller:
      - And how much do you want for this farce? - Dad, what's next - the Moon or Berdichev?
      - Do not take mine down! Come to the window. See the moon?
      - Yes, I see.
      - A Berdichev? - Mom, give me the money for the flowers - I go on a date with a girl!
      - Sam, you're crazy not to stop that! What a bunch of roses? It is 3 days - spiny broom! It is better to give a girl my geraniums - will breathe from her mole! - Washing dishes infringes on my manhood!
      - Sam, I'm begging you, did it my hands!
      
      
      
      
      • - Abraham, give a loan of 100 rubles!
        - I have so many - there are only 80.
        - Well, let 80 - 20 will have. - Monya, well, as you can walk the entire salary for one day ?!
        - Take the money, let's show you! - What are you beautiful teeth!
        - It's from my mother.
        - Taki fortunate to have come.
      • - It is difficult to us Jews, everything in this life is given ...
        - It is hard to - sigh second. - But all.
      • - Mony, you live by the law or conscience?
        - According to the situation ... - Dad, I still can not marry Izya viyti: he is an atheist and did not believe in the existence of Hell.
        - Taki vihodi boldly Sarochka: vie with mom bistro prove it, it is very wrong sho ...
        
        
        
        
        • The wedding ceremony:
          - Do you agree to marry this woman?
          - And sho, you have to offer something better? - It is true that in Odessa always answer a question with a question?
          - Who told you that?! - Oh, your Abramchik face - the spitting image of the pope!
          - It's not scary, it would be healthy! We talked two Jews: single and married. Blank says:
          - Marriage - it's such a marina, where there are two ships.
          Married:
          - And one, I just met with a military cruiser!
          
          
          via # image15275160