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How to bring the Pope
Pope - is such a big baby. It is imperative to love them. And as the father - is a child only large, it requires more love. If dad does not love, he can get out of hand, or from home and become lost.
Morning Waking the pope should be gradual. You can not shout loudly, pull his nose, beat a pillow or throwing an iron stomach. He can be frightened, insulted, and the day you will be spoiled.
You can gently pat on the cheek, a kiss on the forehead and say something like, "The sun has risen, the birds are singing, and we wake up, wake up, now woke up ... Yes, get up at last, bummer!" - No, no, you can not.
When the Pope will rise from the bed, spend it in the toilet and the bathroom. In the bathroom, you can leave him alone. Usually, he was happy to wash, shave, cologne splashes over.
Now breakfast. It's not so simple. Dad often capricious, does not want to have your favorite "Hercules", turns away. If dad soccer fan and you know the players of his favorite team, then it is easier:
- Well, let's spoon for name of your favorite player em>, a spoon for ...
You can list all the players, the coach, is a plate is empty. The main thing is not to make a mistake. If you name a player of the other team, the Pope will turn his head, clench his teeth, spitting porridge and may even choke.
The physical charge If Dad does not do it, it is useless to force and persuade, and call a weakling hilyakom or, conversely, fat man. We need to put in front of him and the goal, as they said in the TV program "Healthy Pope," to create a motive. Well that he knew why.
Suppose, in the courtyard there is a bad neighbor Sidor Petrovich. So this Sidor Petrovich traps dad, takes his briefcase with documents, throws it away into the bushes and runs off. While teasing:
- Do not catch up, can not catch!
I must say the Pope:
- If you engage in the morning exercises with dumbbells, then eventually you will be able to catch up with this ugly Sidor Petrovich and nakostylyat him.
The idea of the Pope, of course, enjoy it, and one good day it would happen: Sidor Petrovich himself will be in the bushes with tears:
- I will not, do not shove ...
A proud dad looks at his window and safely pass through the yard.
thoughtfully Sometimes, going to work, Dad may freeze, staring, for example, to your shoes. Do not rush it, do not call Digger. He did not slowpoke, at that moment he was thinking. Looking at your shoes, Daddy thinks:
- And how such a thick skin stitched with threads? And as the sole glued?
Thinking this way, he considers himself a smart dad and argue it should not be. In addition, if the tear him away from doom, he considers himself unworthy of such thoughts, he will cease to respect themselves, develop an inferiority complex. At work, too, will no longer respect him, will pay less. And is it necessary? Therefore, let him think.
Housework This is very important! If Dad wants to sew a button or to cook rice, encourage him. Once he did not succeed. Do not pluck his shirt, shouting:
- How many times, brainless idiot, do not you!
It is necessary to say the least:
- I think the blue thread more suitable for this shirt.
Sometimes dad does not want to wash the dishes after themselves. Take it easy. Do not throw the plates on the floor with reproaches:
- Tired of cleaning up after you!
Carried away by the pope to the kitchen:
- Look how fresh "Fairy" we have!
And singing something fun, show him how to do the dishes. Soon it will turn out.
If Dad wants to drill a hole in the wall to repair the chair should immediately drop everything, come around and loudly admiring:
- How great work! What nimble hands! How exactly a nail gets hammered!
And when it is under these words hit on the finger, the finger is now admired:
- Oh, what an interesting finger has become! What a bright blue under the nail spreads! But how quickly!
The pope, too, will consider his finger, distracted, forget about the pain and will not cry. And does not help, you need to kiss the Pope's finger, to put it (finger) under cold water and sympathize:
- That's how it hurt! How quickly calmed down!
And he tears dry. You can not say:
- Before the wedding will heal! - Wedding dad already had.
His place The Pope should be a corner where he can do, what he wants and be alone with him. Every five minutes to look back is not necessary. Better half an hour.
Its location makes it the Pope to define the boundaries of their space, and it will not claim to be yours. It kept his favorite things: a hammer, two nail plate from the transformer, old newspapers. When Dad interested in something, things can get mixed up: a hammer under his pillow, a shirt under a chair, a book in the toilet. Again, do not shout, do not force him to restore order. Calmly tell:
- You can not clean up my stuff, and then you will live in this mess.
To the Pope had a choice: either to restore order, and to be among the trash. And even better with him to do the cleaning. Dad with interest will watch you and see how things take their places.
At this point, you can go to someone. Immediately praise:
- That's what the order brought our dad!
Dad will be very pleased. And if guests will enter other pope, they also want their praise, and will try.
No need to press Let's say you love burgers and dad - pasta. Do not force him to eat your favorite food - let your pasta cooks. Do not push. If the pope to press, he will lose self-esteem. And the work will be to press, and in public transport during rush hours. Pope is wrong.
When dad is not good, he can make a rash act: give up eating or, conversely, there are many. In the first case, lose weight and get sick. In the second - potolsteet and too sick. You can, of course, feed it through a rubber tube, if he refuses is, or hang on the refrigerator combination lock, if it becomes overeat, but still will inconvenience you. Therefore it is better not to put pressure on him and slowly cook it, so he did as you want. And I think that's his choice.
In general, with the popes always difficult. But you know in advance what they were when he chose.
Walking The weekend dad have to skip because fresh air is useful for dads. He agrees reluctantly, muttering under his breath:
- At work, walk around here walk ...
Ignore: a murmur, even incoherent, he develops it. It may be of interest to lollipop, ice cream, tonic. He willingly worn.
To the subject of his interest better to roundabout way - even longer breathe air. Along the way, he thinks of the puzzle, tells the tale. But the worst - it is impossible. Dad scared and run away, and then a long look.
When you buy something that interested the Pope, do not let go to eat ice cream. The air is fresh, though, but it's full of nasties.
After the walk, he wants to take a nap. It is better to accompany him to the place. Let rest.
Author: Oleg Bundur
Preview: Pascal Campion
via pascalcampion.deviantart.com/
