This can only be heard in Odessa




Odessa - a special city. There are people that respond accurately and with humor, will find a way out of any situation, and certainly will not get his words.

< Website I believe that the citizens of Odessa we all have something to learn.



  • Rosa L. in the pharmacy.
    - And for the man sho better - validol or valerian?
    - And what is the diagnosis?
    - Bag of seven thousand!
  • - Estimate, Senya, this morning I go and meet - he Zhvanetskiy!
    - Autograph asked?
    - Senya, why him my autograph?
  • - My Fira forever whining: I have nothing to wear, I have nothing to wear!
    - Oh, Boris! I beg you! Give her a sack of potatoes, and let myself is!
  • - Sarah, I asked you to stroke my jacket!
    - So I stroked.
    - Not true! Thousand as lying in the inside pocket and lies!
  • - Mark Samuilovich whom you work?
    - Testers!
    - And what do you feel?
    - The needs!








    • Boris is reading a book called "How to become the owner of the house." Inspired, he runs into the kitchen and pokes his finger into Lucy:
      - From this moment my words - the law! In the evening I cook a sumptuous dinner and then do the bath so I can relax. Potrёsh my back, and shalt deliver bathrobe. Then do me a massage. And guess who then will I dress and prichёsyvat?
      - Chu, and sho here to guess - undertakers!
      • During the marriage vocabulary words Sofas reduced to rolling of eyes.
      • Calls Rabinovitch to the police :
        - Hello, police! At home I have a riot!
        - What happened?
        - My Sarochka raged!
        - So what is the riots?
        - Oh, you do not know what her weight ...
      • - Abramchik, and you're not afraid of me when I'm without makeup?
        - Rosette, yet, if we are to be honest to the end, then I'll dread and cosmetics.








        • - Sarah, do you imagine, Izzy in the will left 100 thousand dollars that Tsile that 40 years ago refused to marry him!
          - Oh, I understand - THANKS!
        • - Moishe, can I ask you a question?
          - What?
          - When we finally go to the movies?
          - You can not.
        • It was Rabinovich on the street. Found money. I counted. Not enough!
        • - Izzy, we'll go home with you?
          - Little Sophie, how do you want?
          - And how to say, "Porsche" or "Porsche»?
          - Honey, the same right to say: "trolley»!
        • - With my Monya is absolutely impossible to live!
          - Oh, so divorce!
          - What more! He ruined my life, and I shall bestow on him?!








          • - Sofochka, you always do mine nerves ... Why should I wait for you so long?
            - Yoshiko, I beg you, you sho do not know? Mina Well like to be a long-awaited!
          • - Izzy, what would you say, if it met the woman who would be loving, kind, gentle and well-prepared to?
            - "Hello, Mother».
          • - Abraham and Shaw is Sarochka not heard?
            - That she tore his voice, proving to me, Shaw can still silent ...
          • As we say in Odessa: Schaub you've lived like cry the blues!
          • Odessa. Comes Monya shop balloons.
            - Yesterday I have bought the balls, and they were defective, take it back.
            - Why? Burst? Ran?
            - No, they do not please me ...

            See also:
            If you learn the wisdom of life, then the citizens of Odessa
            All the delights of family life in Odessa
            Odessa sarcasm post

            via www.adme.ru/svoboda-kultura/odesskogo-sarkazma-post-899110/

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