Many funny riddles

1. In the teeth of plaque, in the eyes of longing.
(A man fell into a country a boost.)

2. All pi * yes, but one riding.
(Husband on a business trip.)

3. All riding and one pi * yes.
(My husband was hit by a trolley.)

4. All pi * yes, no riding.
(Trolleybus fell from the bridge.)

5. The boy with the girl in the grass doing something on "E».
(We ate strawberries.)

6. What is required blacks to bury a man?
(Five. Four carry the coffin, and the fifth is in the front with a tape recorder.)

7. Approximately 40 million. People are engaged in it at night. What is it?
(Internet.)

8. slides crawling, running up the hill.
(Nozzles.)

10. The rise, the sky would get.
(Rainbow.)

11. Hanging pear - you can not eat. Why?
(Boxers may face stuff.)

12. What can not eat for breakfast?
(Lunch and dinner.)

13. Without arms, without legs on a woman gallop!
(Rocker.)

14. Jumps smartly and eat carrots?
(Bubka on a diet.)

15. Who in the pouring rain did not dampen the hair?
(Bald.)

16. Do not cock and singing, not the grandfather and grandmother is, who it is?
(Philip.)

17. One wheel a thousand wings - what is?
(Wheelbarrow with manure.)

18. What is: a solid inserted into a soft and beads dangle next?
(Sepgi.)

19. Two women at the fence, one glued, sewn another ... What to do with them?
(Pull out the first, second - otporot.)

20. Red, Long, 21. What is it?
(Tram.)

21. What is the blue gold?
(Beloved wife drunk.)

22. What excited tubercle bacillus?
(1. Tuberculosis 2. Koch's wife.)

23. What do the bread burnt, drowned, and a pregnant woman?
(Do not have time to pull out ...)

24. The two rings and two end ...
(Very fancy new Russian.)

25. In the desert lies a dead man. Behind the bag on the belt jar with water. For many kilometers around there is not a single living soul. What does a man died, and that in his bag?
(The man died from hitting the ground, but in the bag - parachute that did not open.)

26. What is different from the teacher a pedophile?
(Pedophile really loves children.)

27. The 12-storey building has an elevator. On the ground floor it lives only 2 people, from floor to floor number of inhabitants doubled. What is the button in the elevator of the house pressed more often than others?
(Regardless of the distribution of the tenants on the floors, the button «1».)

28. onions with eggs, but not a pie?
(Robin Hood.)

29. Ride in a compartment of Pinocchio, Malvina, honest customs and rotten cop. Playing cards, a lot of money in the bank, the train enters a tunnel. After leaving the tunnel, the money disappeared. Who stole the money?
(Cop rotten, because the first three do not exist ...)

30. Whence comes snowman?
(Zimbabwe.)

31. What country is the most armed?
(Israel ... there are all the male population goes to sawn-off shotguns.)

32. What is it - the color of lilacs, sees the back as well as forward and jumping above the belfry?
(White blind horse, as is the white lilacs and the belfry do not jump.)

33. What is: the eyes are afraid - the hands are doing.
(Sex on the phone.)

34. Small, yellowish under the bed is on the "Z" begins.
(Dime. Why "Z"? Sunset ...)

35. The word of three letters, which is afraid of any man?
(Yet!)

36. What is: a good thing to bring the world with a motor?
(Zaporozhets.)

37. A loves B and B loves C?
And what to do?
(Find other BI)

38. What is: the head is, there is a head, the head is, there is no head?
(Lame outside the fence.)

39. prostitute buried at tombstone wrote: "Now they will always be together." Who are they?
(Leg.)

40. How well do you and me, I'm under you and you are me.
(Hedgehog bears an apple.)

41. What is it: flies and shines?
(Komar with a gold tooth.)

42. What: 90/60/90?
(At the rate of the traffic cops.)

43. Stop the beam in case of emergency braking.
(Post.)

44. Earrings for simpletons.
(Noodles.)

45. The arithmetic mean between a bicycle and a motorcycle?
(Moped.)

46. ​​Hanging on the wall, green and beeps.
(Herring. Hanging on the wall because I hung it there, the green because I painted it, and squeaks that no one guessed.)

47. Get out of the water, eight boobs, three p # @ dy
(Vosmisisechny trip # @ dec.)

48. Between the legs dangling, stinks and shouts?
(Motorcycle.)

49. What is a woman on the body,
the Jew in mind,
It is used in hockey
and on the chessboard?
(Combination.)

50. What question no one ever answered "yes»?
(Sleeping on the question: "Are you asleep?»)

51. How can you go sitting?
(The toilet - on the toilet.)

52. scales - but not a fish, with p # $ doy - but not a woman with wings - but not a bird.
(Scaled n # $ Dockray.)

53. When a person is in the room without a head?
(When it pops out of the window into the street.)

54. What is the word of three letters are now often written on the walls of toilets in schools and universities?
(You yourself X # @! The correct answer - WWW!)

55. In a social group critical days twice a year?
(Students.)

56. When the goat seven years old, what happens next?
(Will eighth.)

57. Around the water, and in the middle of the law. What is it?
(Prosecutor bathed.)

58. Can a man marry his widow's sister?
(None.)

59. Why wear a hat?
(Because she does not go.)

60. Small, little yellow in the land of picks.
(Mine is looking for Vietnamese.)

61. Small, little yellow in the sky tumbles.
(Found !!!)

62. What when you want to sleep, go to bed?
(By gender.)

63. Can a bird called the ostrich?
(No, he can not talk.)

64. What should be done to four guys stayed in one boot?
(Removed from each of his boot.)

65. He resigned from his grandfather, and my grandmother left ...
(Love.)

66. What is it: the power lies, and the water is running?
(MPs put an enema.)

67. What is the - green, you press the button - red?
(Frog in a blender.)

68. Cross-eyed, small, in a white coat, felt boots?
(Chukotka Grandfather Frost.)

69. What: falling from the branches gold coins?
(A common phenomenon in the country of fools.)

70. What's the blacksmiths forge in the forest?
(A x * d knows!)

71. Dry-wedge, wet-pancake?
(Wet wedge, damn!)

72. barked goose on all Russia.
(Lebed.)

73. What is, two of the abdomen, four abalone?
(Cat's wedding.)

74. Wrinkled Titus whole village cheers.
(The lack of young people in rural areas.)

75. How many eggs a woman can hold in one hand?
(Both.)

76. Why do women in stockings winter heat, and men in jeans cold?
(Because men heater x @ # HICLES, while the women n $ @ daty.)

77. What can be reset with a naked secretary?
(Nude chief.)

78. What are: walking on the wall and plays?
(Fly to the player in his ears.)

79. When a woman leg raises, you see? Five letters to P starts and ends at.
(Heel.)

80. How fast should run a dog not to hear the ringing pans tied to its tail?
(The dog should be. This problem brings us immediately physics physicist says that she needs to run at supersonic speeds.)

81. There is a bald hedgehog - how old is he?
(18 - take him into the army.)

82. The two arms to receive,
I shove between his legs,
five minutes of sweat,
and then the bastard.
(Exercise Bike.)

83. What do you look at me, take off your clothes, I'm yours.
(Bed.)
(Option: Hanger.)

84. Hairy head cheek flies deftly.
(Toothbrush.)

85. Around the black, red in the middle.
(Radish in the ass negro.)

Around 86 black, white in the middle.
(Radish there just bitten.)

87. In the letter called H., P. sees rising.
(Trunk food takes.)

88. claws, and not a bird, flies and mothers.
(Electrician.)

89. That suspension is standing the cold then hot.
(Shower.)

90. Do you remember him a little bit, to be solid as a potato.
(Snowball.)

91. Small, gray elephant looks like.
(Elephant.)

92. What is: sitting on the ceiling, the light bulb nibbles?
(Potolkovy lampogryz.)

93. Who is the six wings, seven x # s?
(Six-Winged seven ...)

94. One hundred odezhek all without fasteners.
(Homeless.)

95. Hunter walked past the clock tower. He took out his gun and fired. Where has he got?
(In the police.)

96. In the autumn of supplies, warm in winter, spring fun, summer cools.
(Vodka.)

97. Where is the chicken crossing the road?
(On the other side of the road.)

98. The boy fell to 4 steps and broke his leg. How many feet will break the boy, if they fall to the 40 steps?
(Just one, because the other had been broken.)

99. What is: a small bald runs through the woods?
(Hedgehog. Why bald? Fled from Chernobyl.)

100. Do not bark, does not bite and will not let me into the house.
(My wife will not let the drunk husband.)

101. From what dishes can not eat anything?
(From empty.)

102. Four brother under one roof are.
(Mafia.)

103. Who is it - a small, living in the land, on the "w" begins?
(Schervyachok.)

104. White, rather than sugar. The cold, not ice.
(Corpse.)

105. What word always sounds incorrect?
(The word "untrue».)

106. It is worth Ivashka on one leg.
(Disabled.)

107. Why pop hat buys?
(Because the gift is not allowed.)

108. Under what tree sits a hare, when there is rain?
(Under wet.)

109. What is common between money and the coffin?
(Both spikes first, and then drained.)

110. Two ends, two rings, and the middle carnations.
(The victim maniac.)

111. How the wheel turns at the right turn?
(Replacement.)

112. What it is: a small, dark hair, beating on the glass?
(Baby in the oven.)

113. How many babies fit in a double stroller?
(And that, depending on how you cut ...)

114. What: hanging on the wall and crying?
(Mountaineer.)

115. Red head - works smartly.
(Woodpecker.)

116. What is, first white, then VZ-rail zhik, and red?
(Pudelek neighbor in a mixer.)

117. no windows, no doors, and inside sat a Jew? What is this?
(Sarah was pregnant.)

118. What: small, green, standing on the panel?
(Prostitute from another planet.)

119. On a rope hanging on the "Z" is called.
(Zoe Kosmodemyanskaya.)

120. Who will get to the refrigerator - a mouse or an elephant?
(Mouse. She velosipedike arrive.)

121. How do I know whether there is a mouse in the refrigerator without opening it?
(In the cooler should stand velosipedik.)

122. What: green, bald and jumps?
(A soldier in a disco.)

123. What it is: blue, large, with a mustache and a fully stuffed rabbits?
(Trolleybus.)

124, hair ... and in the middle of the sausage.
(Corn.)

125. Three turtles crawling on the plane.
One says, in front of me no turtles, and crawl back two.
Another says: I have one in front of and behind a turtle.
The rest said, crawling in front of me two turtles and two behind.
Q: In which circumstances can this be?
(Answer: If a third turtle - pi $ # ur.)

126. Little, little yellow, opens the door himself.
(Bruce Lee.)

127. What distinguishes the young from the old bachelor?
(Cleans young bachelor in his house to invite the woman, and the old woman's house to invite her to tidied up.)

128 Winter forest, all covered with snow. The large icy stump is squashed member. What is this?
(At the end of the winter came.)

129. The little wrinkled, there is in every woman.
(Highlight.)

130. How many peas can get in one glass?
(Not at all, because the peas do not go.)

131. Running a hedgehog on the lawn - drags, laughing. Why laughing?
(Because the grass tickles pussy.)

132. Running a hedgehog on the lawn - crying. Why crying?
(Grass mowed.)

133. Two nail fell into the water. As a Georgian surname?
(Rusty.)

134. Flying Hippo in the sky and on the ground behind him ran a hunter with a gun. The hunter shot and Hippo fell on him. Those who remained alive?
(Elephant, because he flew later.)

135. How many programmers need to tighten the bulb?
(Not one. This is a hardware problem, programmers do not solve them.)

136. What are the words in which the 40 vowels.
(Forty (forty «A»).)

137. In the sky one,
The earth is not present,
And as many as two women.
(Letter B.)

138. The end day and night?
(Soft sign.)

139. We guys are removed, we climb into the sex gap.
(Cockroaches.)

140. What it is: on the wall and smells?
(Hours: they died cuckoo.)

141. What is - small, Belenky sucks blood?
(Tampon.)

142. What is - sitting in a tree, black and croaks? In the letter S.
(Raven. Why III? Because pretended hose.)

143. What is - a small, fair, and flies buzzing? In the letter B.
(Fly. Why B? Because blonde.)

144. Silence came back,
Double stuck and went.
(Slippers.)

145. The hair on the hair, body on body - begins dark matter.
(Eyes closed.)

146. What is the - 100 x% s and one rope?
(Volga Boatmen.)

147. What is the - 100 pitches and one x% d?
(Paratrooper.)

148. What - 100x% s and 100 pitches?
(Boatmen on parachutes.)

149. What it is:
Runs across the ceiling, lamps suck?
(Potolkovy lamposos.)

150. Hang - loose, three letters called. In the middle of "The».
(Shower.)

151. What:
The two ends, two rings?
(Gay marriage.)

152. Why did Lenin walked in shoes and boots Stalin?
(On earth.)

153. Why elephants can not fly?
(By Air.)

154. The person is different from the engine?
(First steam locomotive whistles, then gets under way, and people will begin to move first, and then goes and whistles.)

155. On top of the black, red inside.
As zasunesh - so beautiful.
(Galoshes.)

156. Of the three letters is,
On the "X" begins,
When the work is,
When the ends, bows.
(Hor.)

157. Which fellow
drips from the end of the morning?
(Samovar.)
(Option: Water tap.)

158. Who is:
I do not shoot and the other does not?
(Alexander Matrosov.)

159. Hanging pear - you can not eat.
(Strange pear.)
(Option: Aunt Grunya hanged.)

160. Two turtles (male and female), walking along the shore lovingly holding each other's legs. An hour later, back to back only male. Where is the female?
(She stayed there - he forgot to turn it.)

161. Two men are on opposite sides of the earth. One goes on a rope over the cliff, and the other makes the extraction of 70-year-old woman. Both men, the same thought. What?
(Do not look down.)

162. crawls, creeps - stone eat. Again creeps, crawls - stone eat.
What is it?
(Kamneezhka.)

163. crawls, creeps - tree eat. Again creeps, crawls - tree eat.
What is it?
(Kamneezhka. He eats and trees.)

164. In a dark room, on a white sheet - two o'clock fun.
(Film screenings.)

165. Adam front and rear Eve?
(The letter "A».)

166. Why do girls go to Paris red?
(On earth.)

167. The two backs, one head, six legs. What is it?
(The man in the chair.)

168. The first floor is different from the ninth?
(On the first floor you will fall, "Wham! - Ah!" And with the ninth "Ah! - Wham!»)

169. himself scarlet sugar, green velvet coat.
(Negative on color film, depicting the "new Russian».)

170. Return trip here:
You and me - it's nice.
(Swing.)

171. Colorful Rocker hung over the river.
(Incipient madness.)

172. What is different from the tractor tomatoes?
(Tomato red, and the tractor door opens outward.)

173. What does this:
sitting on the window, French says?
(French.)

174. What is more, the weight less. What is this?
(Holes.)

175. The horse is different from a needle?
(First sit on pins and needles, then podprygnesh and horse podprygnesh first, then sit down.)

176. What:
Black, square, hairy on the table worth?
(TV [f% $ doy covered himself].)

177. The black dog does not bark,
He does not bite and will not let me into the house.
(Dead black dog, blocking the entrance to the house.)

178. pet, "t" begins.
(Cockroach.)

179. pet, "d" begins.
(Two cockroach.)

180. pet, "s" begins.
(Yscho one cockroach.)

181. What:
Black - on one leg?
(The one-legged black man.)

182. What:
Black - on two legs?
(Two-legged black man.)

183. What:
Black - on three legs?
(Royale.)

184. What:
Black - on four legs?
(The one-legged black man at the piano.)