In a week I will be 40, and in honor of this event, I decided to write about all the most important that has had time to learn for life ... and that would like to know and understand much ranshe.
1. It is important to love and accept yourself polnostyuYa really believe that if love and accept myself for who I am, with their advantages and disadvantages before, I would be able to avoid a lot of stupid mistakes and bad decisions. It's so easy - and so difficult. It comes through the pain, but brings freedom.
2. Do not forget to feed your dushuNe matter what inspires you - Try to give your soul what it needs. Try new look of their own, yet not find what makes the interior a feeling of freedom and heat.
3. It should keep those ryadomDolgoe time I tried to control everything in your life, be strong and never seek the support of others. But now I realize that our social relationships, our own network of friends and family - the main thing that we have. To get them was difficult - so hold on to them, and allow yourself to be weak at least sometimes.
4. Do not be ashamed to be nastoyascheyInogda when I was really tight, the mask I wore like to grow my face - mask self-confident and independent woman. No one knew what I have actually. Know how to reset the mask and be present to those whom you love and who really loves you. They will appreciate it.
5. To live for myself, not just for drugihOgromnaya part of my life was devoted to the all-consuming concern for others - sometimes to such an extent that I forget about myself. I thought it would make my life full of - but in fact it is gradually devastated me. Know how to find time for herself - you're no less important than the others, even the closest people.
6. Optionally, always go for a compromise could avoid a lot of unnecessary relations, if realized it when I was younger. The compromise is certainly useful - but only if it is really a compromise, not unanswered concessions. Take care to not only give, but to receive something from the relationship - or throw them if you do not want to meet.
7. Travel! Travel! This is probably my biggest regret. I managed to travel a bit when I was young and did not have children, and it was very cool. Memories about this - much more valuable than all the things that I could buy. If I had realized this sooner, I would have much more to spend on travel and less - on new furniture. Travel - is an inspiration and freedom.
8. Less anxiety incredibly much worried and did not even try to fight it. It seemed to me that the constant anxiety can help me better control of their lives and the lives of loved ones. But it was not worth it. You see, everything will be in order, regardless of your worries. Just like everything goes go. Weaken the control and you immediately feel better.
9. Do not compare yourself with drugimiPerestan compare ourselves with everyone. Yes, it is difficult to resist the comparison with, say, a close friend whose life you are well known, but overall, this is normal. However, to compare themselves with the whole Instagramom - disastrous. There is always someone who is richer than you, you handsome, athletic, successful, and so on. F. As soon as you throw away all those useless comparison of the head, life once you seem brighter and brighter.
10. The earlier discard the waiting - the luchsheKak and many other girls, I grew up on the cartoon about Disney princesses and dreams of a charming prince. With age, I began to appear certain expectations - what should and should not make my choice. The man, whom I married, at first glance, to meet them, but ... it turned out that he is not close to me. The marriage collapsed miserably, and I threw all their expectations in the trash - and found a man dreams that have adopted the way it has.
11. To live to work rather than work to zhitEsli I reverted back to my 20, I have tried many professions, I would explore their passions and talents, and would not allow myself to work like an ox without pleasure - just for the sake of survival . Work should bring not only money - it must really please you, and if it does not - throw it and look for another, his one and nepovotorimuyu.
12. forget to save for starostPodumay advance about what will live in retirement. In 20 years, it seems that life is infinite, and youth - believe me, it is not so, and each of us will have to see this. While you are able to work and earn - Share with itself after 20 years and 50-year-old you're sure to say thank you myself.
13. It should be more than otdavatMolodost selfish, but it is young enough enthusiasm and energy to help the family. Giving - this is how to invest in your own soul. Nothing warms you over the years, as the awareness of the fact that you helped people - whether it's volunteering, charity or just help someone weaker than you.
14. Forgive yourself and drugihMnogo too much time I spent on resentment and anger - and regret it. Resentment destroys the soul of the offended, and yet how many offenses occur simply because of the little things! Learn to forgive, not to put unnecessary barriers between themselves and happiness. Past should remain behind, how painful it may have been, and not constrain your hands.
15. Why waste time on negative people? Sometimes, someone hard to get rid of negative: for example, a friend, a childhood friend and important to you, suddenly becomes jealous and always nagging burden. Stop calling your house in the negative: if people can not understand that should support and encourage each other, not only to take but to give, it is not your problem. The same applies to relationships, outdated and turn into a problem: find the strength to break them down and build new.
16. "No" - is a complete predlozhenieByli times when I was very difficult to refuse: I involuntarily sought to ensure that everybody was happy, whatever it may cost me. Even when I had to say 'no', for it is often followed by unbearable pangs of conscience. But the older I get, the better I understand that "no" - is the best barrier between me and all sorts of negative and nothing to be ashamed to erect it more often. Also, do not let others impose their will or you waste your obligations. No - and the point.
17. It is necessary to think well before saying "I agree" in ZAGSePolovina marriages end in divorce - such statistics, whether you like it or not. And all because we say "yes" too hastily and spontaneously. If women knew how much pain and guilt bears divorce, even if it is justified and necessary! Think a hundred times before to go to the registrar.
18. Sometimes you have to stop and enjoy melochiMy live in a world described by Carroll in his "Alice in Wonderland": should run very fast just to stay in place ... and run twice as fast, if you want to get somewhere. But even in this world, among the avalanche of cases, calls and e-mails have to sometimes just stop and marvel at the starry sky and smell the wildflowers.
19. Stop finally worry about "what people think" I wish I could figure it out sooner! Sometimes it seems to me that "the desire to comply" - the root of all our troubles. No, not necessarily look perfect, to behave ideally, be ideal for those whose opinion is like breeze - fly by without a trace. What do you care, "what will people think?" Of all the useless anxieties, this - the most useless. And yes, you can wear to the beach is a favorite bikini. Of course you can!
20. To love izmeneniyaChem older we get, the worse attitude to change. I think the thing is an illusion of safety: it seems that as long as nothing changes, nothing bad can happen. Maybe so, but then no good to you, too, are not threatened in a world where everything is stable and predictable. Love to change makes us flexible and adventurous. Try from time to time to change anything - route B or furniture that even these little things bring you lots of fun.