Stop talking to people, "Cheer up!"
For some time psychologists know that uplifting encouragement is not always well received by people with low self-esteem. Scientists have figured out why. Here is what Jesse Singal of «New York Magazine»:
«The so-called" positive reframing, "which is, as the name suggests, an attempt to introduce the negative developments in the" right "perspective, not only resonates with people with low self-esteem, but can even backfire and make comforter feel worse because it is not working comfort. This could worsen his relationship with a man, whom he tries to cheer ».
blockquote> Support in the form of encouragement or platitudes, even with good intentions, is often perceived by people with low self-esteem as alienation. "They feel that if people do not understand their problems and do not take their feelings - explains in an interview with" Today "study lead author from University College Waterloo Denise Marigold. - It shows a lack of concern about ».
Negative Validation, on the other hand, according to Marigold and her colleagues - this is the expression that "the feelings, actions and responses consoled normal and appropriate" and "gratitude for the help in a difficult situation».
However, a complicating factor for anyone who has a stand by, is the observation that people with high self-esteem tend to resort to forms of positive validation, even if had been warned that it is better not to do. This, say the researchers, only perpetuates the negative cycle and a lack of responsiveness consoled that are supported by well-intentioned comforter. In this case, the researchers said, is actually better for the person offering support to his friend the space to think about his feelings in his own way.
via factroom.ru
