Do not underestimate these threats, because, much better to understand the situation and understand it now!
People who want to build a family, settled on a very brave step. They will be faced with many different challenges. Alas, not only those that are relevant to the material world. All that money can buy - is cheap, if there are problems with the financial situation of the family, they can be overcome. Scary when from the union of two loving people disappear understanding. This happens when the couple is not able to communicate.
Communication in the family is often unhealthy. What's going on, you can easily see the example of a playful child, who put the gate of the playground. The teacher heard the noise, and does not understand who to blame, drove him. Although the child was not the cause of the disorder, he only reacted to the conflict so that it became visible. So in marriage - when there are problems, we often accuse them partner hang on him the blame for the fact that we do not like. Much better to understand the situation, to understand that the conflict with the loved one - is the tip of the iceberg. What hurts us is deeper.
1. People change
We're getting married on the people that we like. This is a surprising discovery: people change, it happens all the time. We must be prepared for this. If a loved one has something changed, there is no wonder you are also changing. The secret is not to grasp at permanence and solidify in a state not allowing partner to change. We must do it together, to develop and grow at the same time that changes were harmonious, and only in a good way. Love created to make people better, do not forget about it.
2. From loneliness can not be saved
Each person has a fear of being left alone, but it is absolutely meaningless. We all - alone. One person comes into this world and leaves alone. Marriage - is not an escape from loneliness, to stay alive, the person should be autonomous and independent. The family is created, so that two people can share their experiences and create moments of solitude, when it clears for a while.
3. Children's complexes
All that's bothering you, is within you. The other person does not make you feel ashamed, do not aggravate your complexes. You do it by yourself. From childhood we all have certain psychological problems, and if your partner contributes to their manifestation - it's not his fault. Instead of being angry at a spouse, do something more constructive. Learn to understand yourself, to understand what touches you, that makes you experience negative emotions. Then the communication with the second half will not be overshadowed by accusations of your personal troubles and sorrows.
Each of us has his own ego, it emerged at an early age, when a child is faced with a hostile world. To defend himself, he has built around himself an impenetrable wall. In complex situations the ego to save you, but in the family, the wall - superfluous. Marriage - a wonderful environment to finally find myself get out of the captivity of their own ego. This can be achieved by practicing openness instead of security, forgiveness instead of revenge, instead of an apology needs to blame. If two people understand it, it turns a strong union.
5. Trouble happen
Life is full of dirt, trouble, unexpected turns. Marriage - is also a part of life, and he is not immune from this. When trouble occurs, we begin to shoulder the entire burden on the partner, forgetting that life does not happen all smooth. Charges only aggravate the situation. Rather than point fingers at another, take these problems as common. If you do not look for someone to blame, it is possible to go through all the difficulties of life together, and so much easier.
6. Empathy - it's hard
Empathy - the ability to feel the emotions of another person. By their nature, empathy complex phenomenon and can not be two people at once. Someone always has to meet, understand partner. And there is no guarantee that you will appreciate in response to this selfless sacrifice. Because we are afraid to do so - selfishness and fear prevent us. It is exhausting confrontation, sympathy and understanding, as if you admit defeat. Instead, get rid of selfish ambition. Empathy - a positive state, if it is available to you, you're a good man. Even if the partner does not appreciate it, understand and empathize is another.
7. Children - this is important, but also important partner
We often think more about children than about the man, by which they were born. Children do not have to be an important partner, it is harmful in the first place for them - you risk to grow complete egoist. The family are important components of all, they must be on the same level. Only in this way can a harmonious relationship.
Partners often transform their lives in the struggle for power. Women usually want more men - less, sometimes these roles are changing. To decide how close are your relationships? Someone who should control? People are constantly searching for answers to these questions, but it is - a waste of energy. Striking a balance - a process, the whole family life will obey him. Just accept it.
How many interesting things around! How many people you will seem more interesting than your other half. It is strange to realize it, but in fact, if the wife and the mistress exchanged roles, nothing would have changed - you would still attracted to the person on the side you have been attracted to the woman who is not there. Women have the same story. Why is this happening? All new charms, attracts. The secret to a happy family life is to direct his attention to the man who has close. He's here, and it is very interesting - you love it so. As in meditation, you can be distracted by extraneous things, but then - again and again to return to its true state. If you learn to do it, you can watch the beauty of the world, with the interesting people, interact with them, but remember what your partner is valuable. Because of this you will be able to stay together.
How beautiful are the people who take themselves who are able to compromise who choose forgiveness instead of revenge. The family gives you the chance to learn all this, stop being selfish to see something more, do not get hung up only on their desires. This is the moment when you can grow spiritually. Besides that you will be much better, thanks to the family, so you keep the love and harmonious relations. Maybe we should try to behave not as says your ego? You might like ...
There is nothing more touching and present than harmonious family. This is something to aspire to any person by nature. Tell your friends about this article, help them become better.
Kelly M. Flanagan