4 ways to protect yourself from manipulation EMOTIONS Bashny.Net

A few ways to protect yourself from excessive manipulation and malevolent individuals



Anything better lies and deceit!
~ Leo Tolstoy

As someone who is able to buy into? How could I be so stupid? Why do they believe this Vrana? As we were able to fool so?

We are surrounded by people, more or less able to manipulate our emotions. When we are young, we like to believe that we have something really immune to the psychological pressure that brings other people into error, manipulates their consciousness and inspire them to foreign ideas. We did not like, right? But the true maturation includes an understanding that you, too, affects the environment, and that you also influenced by other people that you - a human being, and you have a simple human desires and weaknesses.

People give in external manipulation precisely because we all share the internal psychological characteristics that make us all susceptible - to a certain extent. However, as in the case of any other weaknesses and inclinations, some people are much more susceptible as other immunity is much higher, allowing them to withstand this level of manipulation that we have not even thought possible.

However, suppose that we have already immune to manipulation - the surest way to become their victim. Let me give you a very clear example:

Emotionally zamanipulirovannye to death
Imagine: on the calendar November 18, 1978, and you in Guyana. You're standing in the middle of Johnstown, and you - a faithful follower of the cult of Jim Jones, known as the "Temple of the nations." He orders you to take his own life by drinking a cup of cold drink cyanide poisoning.

What do you do?

Of course you do not, right? Can some Jim Jones, and anyone else, for that matter, ordering you to give up your own life? You're not a robot, which can be ordered to disconnect himself, and he does, because he does not have his own will! But 907 cult members on that terrible day, to execute this order, and died. But before killing himself, many of them have poisoned their children. And it really all these people want to live. And they want to live their children and relatives.

What made them do it? Why do so many men and women, many of whom had higher education, allowing the man to wash out his brains, and for many years over them scoff? Why do they have agreed to sell their homes and give everything they had, "Peoples Temple" - apparent sect?

Maybe the intelligence of these people was unusually low, or they were mad? Maybe Jim Jones was a master manipulator of human emotions? Perhaps he knew on cocoa "buttons" of the human soul need to reap, and played for them until the "tools" have not reached such a state that agreed to poison their people before killing himself?

Well, whatever, it's only happened in Johnstown, right? It was a single incident?

And here and there! "Johnstown" during human history occurred not once, not twice. And most likely to occur again. I bet anything that if you should dig into his memory, remember a couple of cases where people artfully brought to death - and the last step they did themselves. Yes, these cases are not called "Jonestown," they went down in history under different names, but in them we see exactly the same mechanisms of psychological manipulation, as described in our case. And understand how these mechanisms are functioning, you will protect yourself not only from the deadly manipulations of the leaders of destructive cults, but from subtle psychological manipulation, which is a part of our everyday life, we encounter every day.

We all have basic human needs
Jim Jones was able to expertly deceive people by giving, as they thought, what they need. This is - the most important thing we need to learn. We all have a deep-seated human needs. And if your psychological needs are not met, then, if you do not exactly understand what is happening to you, and properly respond to this, you will have the desire to cling to any source that will meet those needs - or at least to create the visibility of this meeting.

So, your basic human needs include:

A safe environment to live and work.
The feeling of self-sufficiency and power over their own lives.
Self-esteem, proistekayuscheee of creative problem solving and achieve personal goals.
Belonging to a large group of like-minded people.
Possession of status in their social group (which includes a sense of importance and respect in one form or another).
The feeling of emotional attachment to some people (family, friends, and so on).
The purpose and meaning of life arising from the possibility that a difference through their actions.
Once again - if some of these basic needs are not satisfied, you may well feel a strong attachment to any person or social phenomenon, though it hints at the possibility of satisfying them. But if you understand what is happening to you, it will save you from a huge pile of problems in the future.

Many of the followers of Jim Jones were recruited them from the mass of people, frustrated in their own lives - it did not suit them either completely or they strive to meet their needs in unhealthy ways. People whose lives are an unlucky streak, people whose future is hidden in mist, people with low self-esteem or a negative attitude to themselves, and so on. Jones promised them stability, social acceptance, a community of like-minded purpose in life and a sense of security - if they join his "temple." And it must have awakened something in the depths of their souls, as a result they followed Jones like rats for the Pied Piper, directly to their own destruction.

The universal applicability and receptivity
Believe me, that not all of your needs are met or their satisfaction with the poor, notably from almost immediately. Sooner or later it will notice a person who promises to meet all your needs in one easy-to-decision "complete", and believe me, this sentence may seem very tempting.

If you do not quite agree with me, think about this: In the normal, so to speak, the household level, each of us knows at least one person, who, being not quite meet their own marriage, she tied the dubious relationship with a lover or a mistress just because he wanted to be heard, I hear flattery, like romance, well, the list goes on. It is this subconscious desire can push people into the arms of the sect, or "clients" of another psychologist fraudster.

The rational justification for irrational behavior
We all love undivided attention to themselves, loved ones. Moreover, we need it, and push it in different ways, but this thirst can close our eyes to the side is not quite worthy of the people (or organizations) that we evince it. But our emotional needs are so strong that they often involve help of our creation, to cook up a strong, logical arguments that support what we want to do so. The followers of Jim Jones created specifically for a system of such arguments, finally believing at 100%, they have a rational reason to stay in this cult.

Yes, it's very simple - to say then, "How could I be so stupid?" But the terrible events like Jonestown show us how the desire to meet basic human needs is able at once to turn into idiots even-geek in general, people. This desire can completely drown out rational thought, if we allow it to him - as well as a man dying of thirst in the desert, happily drunk from a bottle of ice-cold poison, if it slip.

Weapons of influence and manipulation
Renowned social psychologist Robert Cialdini conducted research on how and why people agree to something or buy something in business situations, and identified a set of principles, which he called "weapons of influence." Although he mostly studied the events and interactions that are relevant to the business world, they are certain principles apply equally well to any unhealthy relationship in which you are trying to manipulate. And if you look closely, it is not so difficult to see the connection between the principles of Cialdini and I described just above basic needs.

Weapons of influence Cialdini:

It evokes a response. - "But as they have done for me!" When you feel that someone owe you a law response. Jim Jones constantly reminded his followers about how much all done for them, "Peoples Temple" - as he "saved them" and now they "belong" "temple." If someone is constantly reminding you how much he did for you, or does, beware - you are trying to manipulate. Whether it's "free" samples in the sale or advertising or the people make you unwelcome "favors" to rely in the future on the same of you, the purpose of all this one - to force you to do what you want to someone else.
Involvement and unwillingness to throw the job. - If people in public, on the people promise to do something, whether in writing or orally, they are far more likely will keep this promise, than otherwise. We love the sound the people responsible and consistent - both in their own eyes and in the eyes of others (just look at how the public despises politicians, changing beliefs). And suddenly cease to obey orders or set aside long-held beliefs to many seemingly impossible - even in light of the numerous testimonies of their faith - a common scam.
Social pressure. - If people see how many other people something to do, they also begin to do it. Point. Their reasons are simple: "Well, because can not all these people are wrong," or "If all those involved, what the big deal?" That kind of thinking makes people and "fashion victims" and "victims of the cult." By the way, such situations are quite complex and ambiguous, because they are based is not only thoughtless blindness on our part. Hundreds of thousands of years ago in order to enable people to survive in a world of predators, they had to get off in a closely related social groups and look at the others in the search for behavioral traits conducive to survival. To some extent this is still useful, however, grew up among us manipulators have learned to use this to their advantage.
Authority. - People tend to obey authority figures, even if they require them to something that runs counter to its own convictions, or the law. Alas, life is often slips our authority figures of all shapes and colors (and Jim Jones was definitely one of them).
Charisma. - People with far more readily amenable to persuasion and manipulation on the part of people who are like them. The problem is the same - often these cuties can do is that you really, really do not like. Cialdini convincingly demonstrated that people prefer to buy from people they like, or buy what they buy pleasing people. Moreover, we tend to like people, attractive appearance. And the fact that leaders of cults tend to be attractive, charismatic and "nice" - is no accident.
Shortage. - If people think that something is in short supply, the demand for it increases considerably. This principle is in full use in the field of sales. "Limited Time Offer", "supplies are limited", "only for the first 100 customers" - we've all seen similar signs in stores. Handlers also use this principle slightly differently: "You will never meet a man like me!" Yes, it's a little more subtle approach, but it leads to the same - that this man - a rare, extraordinary personality, it is very valuable for you. Jim Jones used to say: "Peoples Temple" - the only place where you can be saved. " All cults have a similar manipulative slogan. Everyone.
4 smart ways to protect yourself
To protect themselves from excessive and malevolent manipulation of organizations and individuals, you should:

Understand that overly emotional promise to give you something or threat that you do that, you lose - the universal tool for managing your faith and behavior.
Remember that if your basic emotional needs are not met, you become much more vulnerable to those who are determined to take advantage of this gap in your protection. But the very understanding of it already gives you some protection, not allowing to become a victim.
Watch those around you every day use "weapons of influence" Cialdini (often even for good purposes) and how it is related to the basic needs of people.
Keep calm. Breathe deeply. Calm the mind sees things much more clearly and objectively.
Afterword
Most people and organizations do not tend to use people and manipulate them for selfish or evil purposes, but as found hapless followers of Jim Jones in 1978, when they do, the results can terrify humanity.

And so ... I have repeatedly said this, but I repeat once again: Live the way you want, not the way life is. Invent ways to change lives, not excuses. Let us inspire themselves, but not to manipulate him. Work hard for the result, and not to someone to beat. Listen to your inner voice, and not to selfish opinions of others.

And if you think you have someone trying to manipulate you know - you are not alone. Many of us have faced or are facing the same problem, and if you try, you will certainly be able to find with clues and tips to help you cope with this problem.

Which all this we can conclude? Yes, this world is full of manipulators, who will surely try to wash your brain - but to protect yourself from them is so difficult. The main thing - to know what is happening to you.

And now - your turn ...
As people tried to manipulate you?

When and how do you get it? And what to do about it?

MARC CHERNOFF