My child - Indigo - 2

- And more that I have these toys in our school had not seen - thick as boiled sausage, finger Svetkin teacher rocked my face. Out of mischief, I would like to pretend that I was going to bite him, but also his wife and wife-1-2 strongly warned me on the subject of bullying and resulted thesis "Svetlana there for many years to learn."
And I have to listen politely sisyastaya this monster; Viktoria Riabokobylko leading first-class A and is called the children "these monsters" do not deserve me neither respect nor affection.
Then we walked home together and she asks vowed never - (Dad, well, my word !!!) - not to take any of novopriobretёnnyh "friends" with them to school.

Yesterday my daughter taken in head to brag to his classmates present Pinocchio. She did not consider one fact - a boy, he spent most of his life in the form of logs in a closet drinker joiner, that was the best friend the organ-grinder. From their Table Talk and draws its vocabulary wooden blockhead.
In just one day, accelerated pace, Pinocchio taught the entire first A masterly swear.
Do not know how to properly read the children were happy to difficult subordinates offers numerous adjectives.
At first I came up with an interesting idea - because if a book like as Pinocchio from Italy, then he should swear in Italian, but then I figured - if the Russian girl reading a book Russian, then for all girls Russian-speaking characters too.
Once Sveta sure a hundred percent, I do not get angry, then immediately took out a backpack given away pedagoginey Riabokobylko (Zaberёsh tomorrow with my father!) Pinocchio.

So the three of us and we returned to our own, has recently been very merry, apartment.

Once was Opened Svetkin phenomenon took about a month and somehow all ustakanilos. I, Sveta, wife-1, 2-wife and others.

Of course first wife-1 was somewhat offended and went to live with his mother (chur me chur!), But then, sensibly deciding that rather silly pout on her husband, who lives with her daughter fictional woman who, by the way, your version. Improved true.

Wife-1 returned and we began to live together.

I felt no discomfort from it, and my daughter used to: all the same it was one and the same mother. Just in two versions. Wife-2 always arrived in a joyful and cheerful mood, and the wife-1 reverse.

To suppress possible neighborhood issues had one of them to paint in red color. Now we give out for her sister, who came from Armenia.

Materializing some passengers we managed to attach. Sveta just flatly refused to part with Cheburashka, Carlson and Pinocchio. I'm not sure what happened to Tom Thumb.

He disappeared. And although from the little heathens could expect great mischief, I was worried not happened to him trouble.

Generally my head swell from the most mundane problems. Household. On the content of added wife, despite the fact that it was the same as the required money. Cheburashka ate and crapped adult. Carlson also not economically cleaved glucose into energy and would not agree to go to the feed beets. It was easiest to Pinocchio - it was enough to pour.

At first I was happily dreaming, as I will chop bablosy, speaking with a talking dog Goofy. But by presenting all possible hype, I refused this tempting plan.

As a result of "long-eared shingles" as affectionately called his wife-1 went to the free bread. Goofy pretty smart dogs, and for it we are calm.

Dwarves I rubbed on a baby toy railway - they were quiet and portrayed themselves as technically advanced Japanese toys. Nosed little fellows were important in tiny cubicles. At night, they have very different compositions were allowed to completely different tunnels, but this mess does not bother anyone.

Sitting in the kitchen, sipping unsweetened tea, I thought about the most popular question - where to get the money. Crisis, two wives, daughter and Cheburashka with Carlson. And everyone is eating. A Cheburashka, so generally only oranges.

Where to get the money, where, where, where ?!

In the bitter thought I did not notice how the kitchen drew Sveta and got me by the elbow. Velvet cheek rubbed against my unshaven.
And then I felt that my tea was sweet!
For a moment I was taken aback, and then a wild wave of joy filled me to the brim, and a second brushing dam, rushed out.

 - Genes - Zora I bouncing next to her daughter - the genes! I have exactly the same genes are yours !!! - I yelled, scaring Svetku.
 - Dad, what genes - she jerked my belt - crocodiles Genes? We take the crocodile?
 - Crocodiles, docha, crocodiles - I picked her up, - look, she asks, you're my daughter, and therefore I will try if we can possibly together this crap ...
 - Dad, let go - the voice of his wife-1 required Svetlana - I do not understand anything.

There are already in the kitchen tightened my missus in duplicate.

 - Listen to all! - I announced - only that I really wanted sweet tea ...
 - So and poured himself would, and here the whole day with you nosishsya, nosishsya - start-wife 1 and wife 2 added - now pour what to shout something?
 - No, - I began to explain that the chickens - I just drank unsweetened, and then she asks touched me, and I wished, perhaps subconsciously much sugar immediately got it right in the tea! I can also seal the desired real!
 - Ur-ah-ah! - Yelled quickly understand the essence of Sveta - we will do with the Pope desires! Daddy what do you desire? - Clapped daughter.
 - Yes, what is clear - said as spat, wife-1, but not guess, because I had enough sex now and so.

Rid of his wife (both copies) to watch her favorite TV series dumb (well, why Sveta namechtala only about fun mother, nor did it smarter or per gram), we closed the kitchen and started to experiment.

 - So, the princess - seriously I said - we need to learn how to produce something godivsheesya be for sale.
 - But we have tried - whined Sveta - nothing did not happen ...
It's true, we did try and we really did not leave a fig.
 - But now the two of us - I falsely concluded cheerfully, - let's try the options. Well, let me first ...
I closed my eyes, relaxed, took Svetka thin fingers in his palm and began to represent something that I love.
"The main thing is not to think about Sveta - implicitly throbbed with the idea - these twins do not pull me.»

Messy, heap, in my mind began to swim bottoms powerful sports cars with dual mufflers, with baggy wheels that are quite unexpected change of gorgeous women with round asses under super narrow backs, who in turn contacted the sumptuously laid table with focus on Caucasian cuisine - juicy expiring fat kebabs rested on a pile of greens with tomatoes and freshly baked, and the softest hot cakes nestled on the white tablecloth crunchy next to a sweaty, icy, pristine clear bottle "Russian Standard". Butylёk swayed in weightlessness and said - "Drink me, drink me» ...

... Vision was rudely interrupted Svetkin squeal. I opened my eyes. And also almost screamed.

On the table was a huge platter. Lay on a platter decorated bad ass with a stop signal from the "Porsche". From the middle of the structure moved end chromed muffler, and nearby were some govnyashki on a spit, call this meat not dare. All ekibany exuded the smell of fennel, dill, but most were not observed.

On Svetkin siren ran wives (hell, all the same, or a wife?) And stared at the still life - "Father's joy».

 - Well, everything is clear, and to do everything cleaned - spun, twisting his lips, his wife-1; wife-2 just kissed me on the cheek and laughed.

 - Dad, it's, I do not understand - she asks to keep on top, transported in the trash dish towel - you've dreamed of something?

I mumbled something unintelligible, without going into details - let it three times and Indigo, but still still a child.

Waiting for the elevator, I thought about how hard something purposefully want. At this moment the door and our otkylas waiting elevator staff replenished the enemy contingent - Baba Jana.

Wrinkled physiognomy ex-KGB man shamelessly climbed almost same dish.

 - What have you got? - Asked suspiciously spokeswoman forged in the sixties, the state security personnel, getting impressive potato nose under the towel and bumping into the exhaust pipe, leaving in what was in my grёzah female ass. He suddenly intensified and gave a portion of the exhaust (not gasoline) in the headstock-Yanin curious shnobel.
A left porshevsky stoplight showed somehow right turn.
Back home, we continued our research.

 - Light, now let's you - I sat down in front of a small fairy-captive - you see, if you are distracted - nothing comes out ... We must accurately skontse ... imagine that you are very, very well, just really want to, but not a character from a fairy tale, and for example, a chocolate bar.

 - Do you like chocolates - suavely cunning girl taught dad - imagine - beautiful brown squares ... and smell, what ... Ooooh

Sveta conscientiously closed her eyes and clenched her fists.

On the table there was a dirty brown piece that looks like clay, but with the smell of cocoa. Svetlana opened her eyes - uuuuuu, I do it not as represented ... - green lakes filled with tears, but this time the bar shuddered and crawled under the table, leaving a trail of crap one's pants caterpillars.

 - Uh ... Dad, chocolate spreads - Sveta cried and rushed to the nursery for Carlson. This hooked on cheap vodka romantic roofs ate everything and in large quantities.
With a slight rattling in the kitchen flew Carlson. Spreading wave svezhevypitogo and saying to himself, "... appetizer appetizer ...", as he dived on Gastello "chocolate", which was ready to slap down.
In two spravivishis swallow the enemy, red rose to the ceiling fan and contentedly patted his stomach, "moving ... well, nothing we have not zabaluesh».
Then he did a pirouette, barely fit into the rotation and flew out of the kitchen.

Sending my daughter to sleep, I trudged to the balcony. Duma think. Sitting on boxes with glass containers (wife-1: when you hand over them already, slacker, wife-2 may discard these bottles to hell, not to valandatsya with delivery), I leaned back, closed his eyes and thought ...

«Marlboro» smoldering between his fingers, and I'm thinking, thinking, thinking ...

After the next inhaling I sat up straight and tightened again. Then another. Aw, maladtsa, I said to myself, breathing and holding in the lungs delicious, juicy, fragrant, with nothing comparable and not tobacco smoke ... because I had just want to relax and ...
Sveta, so as not to embarrass the child's soul, it was said that the Pope had learned to produce excellent matchboxes with green tea for adults. Oh, it was a "tea"! Amsterdam would weep with envy, but Carlson can not fly to Amsterdam.
He, my elusive huckster, flies only within Moscow, bringing lovers of green tea "boats" at ridiculously priced.
So if sitting at home alone or on the contrary to the cheerful company, you came up with the idea of ​​a collective laugh or find a standard solution of squaring the circle, do not hesitate to call and after some half an hour or an hour, you will hear the window rattling.
Do not worry, it's Carlson flies to you with "a ship" green "tea».

So it went. Day until Sveta gnawed milk, not until the end of change more, teeth granite science, Dad fantasized. And in the afternoon, Carlson worked. Sometimes it strёkot scatter over the city until morning.
The next few months passed in peace. Even the wife-1 suddenly changed temper justice with mercy, and ceased to grumble about something fun for a long time to shoot the breeze with itself, in the sense of my wife-2.

I wondered what caused the like, but one night accidentally saw a ray of light ejected from the wife-1 from under the blanket. Stealing, I abruptly pulled off it and found naked and wet Tom Thumb with a tiny miner's helmet on the head with a burning light bulb over millipusenkoy visor.

This caver, blah, is ohmurit wife-1 and they sang as sherochka with masherochkoy. Maybe he caught her in their size. Height was just slightly above my middle finger.

In general, nothing clouded an equilibrium, until one day the doorbell rang not powerful hand of the law.

But that's another story.

© LiveWrong

The first part

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