The day that I stolen cars from Germany

Today you will see with my eyes the day October 30, 2013, which I spent in the two countries. I used 10 types of transport and covered a distance of more than 2500 kilometers.
And all in order to steal a wonderful car. You may ask why I decided to steal a car is in Germany. My answer is under the cut.

46 photos via Bronevoy






Many films and books by well-known German meticulousness and accuracy in relation to the work, practicality used to things.
Because of this, the summer 3-5 cars almost always look brand-new, all nodes in a timely manner without damage or replaced, Paint in perfect condition.
Milder climate, quality of fuel and road conditions allow the vehicle remains much better than in Russia. It is very important that in Germany any fraud on the twisting path of the vehicle, shall be punished, until the criminal. So, for example, manipulation of the figures run individuals are punishable by up to imprisonment up to 3 years, legal entities - up to 5 years.
Important point, as happens operation of the car most of the time. The engine and transmission work in more favorable conditions.
Well, the perfect machine for theft and fearless long way home!
Photo 2.
In on-the-dёmmmm!
Well, not a short path to be, because the rise early enough. Oh yes, it is necessary to capture the same time, and that no one would believe.




Photo 3.
Drink water guys have a lot of your day and I also start with clean water mugs.
Funny mug from Brussels, from which shrink to drink my youngest daughter! =)




Photo 4.
As usual, the morning toilet.
Toothpaste with taste of green tea. Not only delicious, but also beautiful!




Photo 5.
Now, an easy workout. Pull-up on the bar.
The girls also love to hang on it, stretch your spine, pull growth.
They are not catching up, just hang, stretch, swing, but recently many udelala older classmates.
On physical education was offset by zalezaniyu tightrope.
Of the whole class could climb up to the end of two boys and two girls. Well, as you understand, one of them was my blonde.
As much as I had wanted to see the face ofigevshie classmates, who told me about her daughter.




Photo 6.
Well, that Ricky was awake. Piteously begging to eat.
No, the first photo shoot, and only then the food!
No, it was not possible to pull a smile, and withdrew with a pained face.



Photo 7.
I have particularly in the morning do not want to, and even more today. Therefore limited to one orange.
Removing food on the iPhone felt a hipster. And it is true that they have the gastric juice is not produced until they do not take pictures of food and instagram not go?



Photo 8.
Things collected the night before. It's time to dress up and go!
Ask for it in a backpack? Of course, all that can be useful for theft: forged documents, false mustache and beard, wig, lock picks, a device to disable the alarm gun, grenade.



Photo 9.
Yes, do not forget about time, time is running out, leaving all!



Photo 10.
Polukonspirativny self-portrait in the mirror filthy elevator.
And yes, this is my first mode of transport for today.



Photo 11.
Well, who did not have an elevator, so you one more photo to add up image of me and my appearance.
On the street quite chilly and so pull the hood waiting for taxis.



Photo 12.
Bus from my house works like a clock, and at exactly 7.00 I drove off from his home.
This is my second mode of transport for today.
Came to the metro, a farewell photo. Hey gay marshrutchiki and passengers, you are in the story and in "one of my day».
Now you will see tens of thousands of eyes!



Photo 13.
Quickly make up the route. In the subway I ride rare and therefore not guided by memory, where do the transplant.
Because this is such a use interactive map.



Photo 14.
Boot to the old dilapidated subway car.
Believe - escalator, train station: a 3 and 4-th mode of transport.



Photo 15.
To transplant, looking at his watch, Yeah, all right butt calculated hopefully not too late.



Photo 16.
Arrive at Paveletskaya, running up the escalator, ahead of the carotid penguins that stares me in the back.
Guys, how good spirits, charging for the legs and all that?
I need to hurry, need to overcome the escalator to reach the banks Aeroexpress, to defend a small queue at the machine, buy a ticket and run on aeroexpress.
Phew, managed, here it is - waiting for me.



Photo 17.
45 minutes of peace and quiet while the 5th mode of transport takes me farther from home.
Oh, but there is a time to read a tape of friends.



Photo 18.
Came to the house of his grandfather at the airport. And by the way where the grandfather? No one has seen?
Slowly begins to dawn.



Photo 19.
Strange to see the airport in a dream state.



Photo 20.
But how many are migrant workers. One out even money is not enough to buy a couple of new pair of socks.
How come the summer in shorts and flip-flops, so in October and goes into them.
And again, this stupid habit - socks and sandals, boo-e-uh!



Photo 21.
6th mode of transport in greeting waved wings and kindly invited her womb.
Finally I saw the sun.
Hello sunshine! keep in touch for a long time. I'm not without a lot of fun!



Photo 22.
Landed. The first impression of Germany!
Lord, grant that toilets in Russia looked always the same!
And the road! And officials! and pensions and income!
Sorry, dreaming!



Photo 23.
Well, quickly passing through passport control, customs, buy a ticket for the S-Bahn and again in a hurry jumping over the steps of the escalator.



Photo 24.
Comes my 7th form of transport



Photo 25.
Ah, again unflattering comparison of this car, because you have seen above.
Granny reaches for the button to open the doors of the train.



Photo 26.
Sun is not here, that look is going to rain.
I look in the window at the fields sown with winter crops, with Old anguish and chew their rations.



Photo 27.
Decaying capitalism tries to seduce me its Euro-rosy propaganda.
Tell me, why on posters can be placed naked torsos of men and women can not?
But what about the equality of the sexes, epansipatsiya, feminization and other -tsii?
With what pleasure I would have looked at the poster, if there was a traditional propaganda! =)
Girl with bare torsos, with bouquets of flowers, with happy smiles on their faces! Beauty!



Photo 28.
All right, I arrived in Cologne on foot to get from the train to the local traffic police department of registration.
Here it is called Tsulassungstelle. I am a long time to remember and pronounce the name. All the same, German for those who love layatsya and tongue twisters!
But such horses in the courtyard of the traffic police. They only some zombies. Stand and not move.
Here I need to get transit numbers on the car so I could move freely on the roads.

Time five minutes to twelve, and twelve stops receiving visitors today. Oh, this Europe! And in Moscow office works around the clock!
I stand in the tail queue and worry if you do not get today numbers have to stay until tomorrow.
Last went up exactly 12 for a woman to check the documents and issuing tickets.
It turns out that the issue only if you have already purchased insurance on the car. I certainly had not yet had time to buy.
Persuade her English, she understands almost nothing, a neighbor at a time, whom he met five minutes ago, the German helps persuade her.
Against two charming men with smiles on their faces she could not resist and issues ticket, showing a man in a corner from which you can buy insurance.
Thank you and the woman and the neighbor turns traditional "Danko Sean!" And goes to the seller of insurance.
After a couple of phrases in English it turns out that he was Russian. Surprise!
Buy his services: insurance and manufacturing numbers. Yes, there is room makes not the state. State only assigns you a number.
Expect about 45 minutes in the lobby, looking at the electronic scoreboard, with the emerging issues of the electronic queue.
My new friend tells about his life, he left in the early '90s a Research Institute in Novosibirsk and moved here.
Well, everything finally comes my turn, after a procedure in my arms insurance, registration certificate and transit accommodation for 5 days.
I and my elderly assistant leave the traffic police and the last he called me a ride to the train. Frankly I do not expect such selflessness abroad and I was pleasantly surprised.
He dovozit me, I write it contacts for the future and we say goodbye. Good man!
Or rather only then I have met in my life three good man - a neighbor in the queue, the woman at the reception and an elderly Russian immigrants. Thanks You!



Photo 29.
Well, once again train and it is the 8th form of transport.



Photo 30.
So they just printed transit numbers for five days.
Until the 3rd of November, I must either leave the EU or prolong get new numbers.

I'm heading to the far suburbs of Cologne, a small town in which I looked after for a victim on the eve on the internet.



Photo 31.
We reached the station on the train, turn to the bus station. Trying to figure out what kind of bus route suits me.
I appeal to either the controller, or the controller standing on the platform. After a couple of phrases in English, my new companion moves in broken Russian.
I'm surprised! It turns out that an immigrant from Bohemia, taught Russian at school, corresponded with the pioneer of Russian as a child =)
Helps to determine the route, suitable for drives up the bus and the driver says in Russian where I need! o_O
How? The same Western Europe, almost the very end of Germany!
The driver, greets me in fluent Russian, without any accent. He is one of the last, emigrated about 10 years ago from Russia.
You see, there's all of our circle!
Arrives already at the 9th form of transport to the point where it should have committed a crime.



Photo 32.
I came out of the bus, breathe clean air village finally seemed sun.
Sun, hello!
Immediately next to the road cows. Right landscape with Milka chocolates advertising.



Photo 33.
Well, I got to his victim! Here it is, the car that will take me home!
By the way, he will be the 10th and last mode of transport.
Check the external and technical condition of the car, all very much on a serious level, using modern instruments.
But what about me it will have to overcome the almost 3,000 kilometers to get home.
As there are no complaints, sets the number. I went into the room to steal documents and keys ...

Op-pa! I was caught in the act ...

What to do?
Frantically trying to explain something in English, but the manager did not understand it. German only.
Had to get prepared documents about buying a car, proof of payment and other.
Of course your passport.
Attempted theft foiled! We'll have to buy it legally.
I do not have a criminal. Oh, Detochkin, I could not go on your way.

Preparation of documents, collect keys, install Navigator, plot a route.
I urgently need a custom, to issue documents to travel there, otherwise I do not return the VAT of 19%.
Time 15:20, customs closes at 16:00 and is located in Cologne.
On the way! Very quickly!
Treacherously lights warning that we need to fill the car.
Oh, those burgers, sell the car with the last drop of fuel.
And I do not have time to look for refueling stop and refuel, every minute counts. On the other hand venture to stand before reaching customs.
Decided to take a chance to fly to customs at the last couple of fuel.



Photo 34.
Phew, managed and fuel hvatilo.Vot and customs, time five minutes before closing time.
Find the right office, filed documents, get a confirmation.
Customs and leave behind me close the door. I again last visitors! =)



Photo 35.
All right, now you can hurry.
I was waiting for a long, long way home on high-speed motorways without any speed limits.
Gas all the way to the floor and sneaker?
But why? I'm in Europe, there can be no hurry. I always have time!



Photo 36.
Familiar with European eyes and an equally unusual I think windmills.
After watching one of the videos, where a windmill crashing, I pass cautiously with closely spaced.



Photo 37.
Finally getting dark, you have to think about yourself. It is time and eat well and stay for the night.



Photo 38.
Photos for illustrative speed and time. You could say that I trudge in traffic in the left lane and at 130 km.chas.
And meanwhile time is nearing 7, and Moscow to 9pm.



Photo 39.
Finally, it was night, I arrived at a small family-run hotel in a small town, and to be honest in the village.
Park immediately, without fear that some drug addict break the glass.



Photo 40.
The door was open.
Once arrived here a little later, everything was closed, the owner went home and I left empty-handed to look for a hotel elsewhere.
Rings the bell, no one and no sounds.



Photo 41.
Turn in a cafe, screaming voice, shout out to my hotel owner from the back room.
Ha, just now noticed the clock. No, you do not mess up, they just are.



Photo 42.
Payable night - 36 Euro, get the keys to the rooms and from the outer door of the hotel, from vayf password.
And here's my number.
Clean and tidy for the lone traveler.



Photo 43.
Perfect cleanliness in the bathroom.



Photo 44.
Neat bathroom. and two full rolls of paper!
And why do I so much on one night! =)



Photo 45.
Leave things descend again get in the car and drive to the nearest supermarket.
Time and effort to find and go to some cafe anymore.
Buy products currently on the evening and all the way back home, back to the hotel.



Photo 46.
Hot relaxing shower, a light dinner.
Jump into a clean, soft bed, read ZhZheshechku.
Answer customer questions sent by email and sent through my website.
I start to fall asleep ...
Stop, and how the final picture? Hmm, but because Moscow already 2:09.
"Click" I'm tired, falling into slumber ...
Good night, I had a long day ...



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