Jokes for today Bashny.Net

Pampers inspire, create kid!

Why when sweaty feet, they smell bad, and no hands?
 - Remember where the legs grow and grow from his hands.

 - It is said from the hospital.
Please let Ivanov that he was born triplets - a girl.
 - Oh, not now. He shaves.

Skydiving. A man flying down past him flies another and asks:
 - Apple want?
He answers "no" and flies farther.
Flies, and also asks the other:
 - Apple want?
A man answers:
 - No, I do not want.
Hey, where you ASSUME them?
 - Yes, you behind a backpack!

The local office of the travel agency, located in the hotel "Cosmos" is a manager by the name of Moose. When she called the main office of the travel agency, the Secretary reported a pleasant female voice:
 - Good afternoon, says Moose from Space ...

A puny little man walking along a dark street. Suddenly the way it cuts off a gang of hooligans with brass knuckles, crowbars, chains, etc.
 - Man, the money chase ...
 - Wait, guys, you have a lot?
 - Well ... six of you is the money chase the old man.
 - Wait, I'm a sick old man, I can not fight ... there seventh, the eighth accidentally join?
 - You what, fuck difference. At least six, even seven, will still beat the money chase ...
 - Oh, please, I beg you, tell a sick old man, you have six?
 - Well, damn, got, but we have six, six, the money chase anyway Images!
A man, taking a Smith & Wesson from his pocket:
 - Ugh ... and this time had passed.