29-year-old lives with his father, who is over seventy, and post to Twitter all the interesting thing is that his father says.



"That woman - sexy ... You're not her level? Son, let women decide why she will not sleep with you, do not invent for her »

"You have too much to worry about. For now, eat bacon ... What? No, I have no idea whether you will be better for it. I'm just too much fried bacon. »

"Son, do not care all that knows your cell phone. You did not invent it, you just bought it. That any fool can. »

"Yeah, I realized, when I turn on the tap in the kitchen, the shower pours boiling water on you. No, I do not promise that I will not do that again, I say that he understood the principle. »

I just want to silence ... God, it does not mean that I do not love you. This means that now more than I love the silence.

"We can talk later? News transmitted ... Listen, if you have tuberculosis, for half an hour, nothing will change, Lord God ... »

"Baby talk, when to speak, relax. Not that he knew the cure for cancer and refused to share the information. »

"Do you remember how you laughed at me when I'm bald? No, I'm not kidding about this. I'll let your mirror do it. »

"No, you can not borrow my shirt. How about to wash my things instead of standing there with a shocked view? "

"No, I'm not a pessimist. At some point the world shits on everyone. To pretend that he is not shit - to be an idiot, not an optimist. »

"You're dramatiziruesh. All that you have - is a TV and an air mattress. I would not call it "have something to lose"

"What pressure? Get married when you want. Your wedding - just another day in my life when I can not wear sweat pants. & Quot;

"Parents are so good, how good is the most stupid of his child. If one child got

The Nobel Prize, and the other robbed a prostitute, you failed. »

"The war hero? Her. I was a doctor in Vietnam. My job was to say, "This happens when you fuck prostitutes guy. Take this cream smear his friend. "

"Science and Mother Nature are married, in which science is always surprising, coming home and finding Mother Nature with a neighbor. & Quot;

"There is a word for such people ... No, I'm saying that there is a word, but I do not know him. I tell you who, poet, or what? »

"I do not understand this: I sweat, I smell OK. You sweat - you smell like a donkey shit. Relax, it takes on the treadmill next to you, she already knows. »

"OK, let's vote. Who wants to fish for dinner? .. Ha, democracy is not so good when it fucks you, huh? »

"Do not start the story with the words" It's so funny. " All the same, what to say before sex, "I have a huge dick." Even if you're right, it sounds like an idiot. »

"Mule somehow kicked Uncle Bob. He broke his ribs. Bob gave him in the face ... What I want to say? This is just the ingrown nail, your mother. Good whining. »

"No, we do not celebrate it. I do not know who this Valentine's Day, I do not care, but I doubt that he wanted people to fuck in homage to him. »

"You look like Stephen Hawking ... Relax, I meant it nonparalysed version. Feel better? .. OK. Forget I said that. "

Tags

See also

New and interesting