Talking on the phone drivers and technicians of those. support Bashny.Net

Technician: the Department. assistance. How can we help?
 Driver: This machine ... I will not start.
 Technician: Yasnenko. What is your vehicle make, model and year of manufacture?
 Driver: I ... hell knows! I bought it in the shop to go, how do I know ...
 Technician: Well, well, take it easy. Let's try to do without this
information ... (sigh) Do you have petrol in the tank?
 Driver: Um ... diesel in the tank, you say ... And how do I know?
 Technician: Ha look at the front panel. Where the arrow shows at "E" or "F"?
 Driver: Where's front panel?
 Technician: It is located just behind the wheel if you sit in the driver's seat.
 Driver: Ah! I see ... tack ... And then a lot of arrows, which are playing?
 Tech: Look at that, next to which is written E or F. There's a gas station can be drawn.
 Driver: Aah! I see. The arrow points to zero.
 Technician: How about zero?
 Driver: Yeah. Right to zero. And next to the arrow is written «x1000». This is the model of my car? Ex-thousand?
 Technician: (deep breath with Rolling Eyes) No, it is not fuel, it is the tachometer. He must show zero if the machine is not wound up. The arrow to the left of the fuel and is usually less than a tachometer, and it should be written "E", followed by a half-circle, then the «F».
 Driver: Aaa. I see, I see! The arrow in the middle between the E and F.
 Technician: Excellent! At least we know that the fuel you have. Now let's check the battery. See the wheel?
 Driver: Yeah.
 Technician: Press in the middle of ...
 Driver: (hear a loud "biiiiip") Oh! That it should do so?
 Technician: (rolling his eyes) It's all right, that's your signal. If it works, then with the battery you are all fine. Now let's try to start the car.
 Driver: Duc, damn it, I say that will not start. Therefore, I call, a cudgel.
 Technician: (gritting his teeth) And yet, let's try again! Hadavite the clutch pedal, press the brake and turn the key.
 Driver: Oh-oh! Let's order. Where is my "pedal engagement»?
 Technician: STSEPLEHIYA ... By driving on the left. Hashli?
 Driver: Hashel.
 Technician: press on it until it stops. So. Now you can see on the right under the wheel of two pedals?
 Driver: Yeah.
 Technician: The left of them - brake. Press the on it. Hazhali?
 Driver: Hazhal.
 Technician: Now turn the key in the ignition.
 Driver: And as I turn the key, if I have two hands are already occupied?
 Technician: I'm sorry?
 Driver: Left hand, I press on engagement, his right hand on the brake, I owe you the keys to turn, I ask?
 Technician: (chokes with laughter). So, let's try again, only this time to push the pedal legs.
 Driver: Hogami? Is it because you can?
 Technician: (still choking with laughter) Can.
 Driver: We try to ... Oh, and it's more convenient ... Well, you did not tell me at once ... (audible fuss). Hadavil.
 Technician: Now turn the key in the ignition until it stops.
 Driver: Where is my ignition?
 Technician: At the base of steering to the right.
 Driver: Hmm. I have a hole there, and there is no key.
 Technician: Well, so put it.
 Driver: Who?
 Technician: (impatient) Ignition!
 Driver: And how do I know that I have the ignition key?
 Technician: (clutching his head) It's usually the biggest key in the bunch.
 Driver: Ha bunch?
 Technician: Yes, where you keep all the other keys ...
 Driver: Aah! So I lost it dvya days ago. So I have to switch?
 Technician: (hangs up) Tuuuuuuuu ... Driver: Ale?