Telephone conversation between driver and technician

Technician: Technical assistance. How can we help?
Driver: This one. My car won't start.
Technician: Right. What is your car make, model, and year of production?
Driver: And I-- fuckin' know him! I bought her to go to the store, how do I know?
Technician: Okay, okay, calm down. Let's try without this.
information ... (sighs) Do you have gas in the tank?
Driver: Hmm. Gasoline in the tank, you say... How do I know?
Technician: Look at the front panel. Where does the arrow point, on "E" or "F"?
Driver: Where's the front panel?
Technician: It is directly behind the wheel if you are sitting in the driver's seat.
Driver: Ah! I see... Tex... Is there a lot of shooters to watch?
Technician: Look at the one next to which it says E or F. There could be a gas station painted.
Driver: Aah! I see. The arrow points to zero.
Technician: Like zero?
Driver: Yeah. Right to zero. And next to the arrow it says x1000. Is that a model of my car? A thousand?
Technician: (deep breath with rolling eyes) No, it's not fuel, it's a tachometer. It should point to zero if the car is not started. The fuel arrow is usually to the left and smaller than the tachometer, and it should say "E", then a semicircle, then "F".
Driver: Aah. I see! The arrow is in the middle between E and F.
Technician: Great! At least we know you have the fuel. Now let's check the battery. See the steering wheel?
Driver: Yeah.
Technician: Push right in the middle...
Driver: (hearing loud "biiip") Oh! Is that what she's supposed to do?
Technician: (eye rolling) It's okay, it's your signal. If it works, then you have a normal battery. Now let's try to start the car.
Driver: Duc, I'm saying it won't start. That's why I'm calling, asshole.
Technician: (tooth grinding) Still, let's try it again! Press the clutch pedal, press the brake, and turn the key.
Driver: Oops! Let's start in order. Where's my hook pedal?
Technique: CHAPE... Drive on the left. Got it?
Driver: Found.
Technician: Pull it all the way. Okay. Can you see two pedals on the right?
Driver: Yeah.
Technician: The left is the brake. Press her. Did you?
Driver: I did.
Technician: Now turn the key in the ignition.
Driver: How do I turn the key when I have both hands full?
Technician: Excuse me?
Driver: With my left hand I put pressure on the hook, with my right hand on the brake, how should I turn your keys?
Technician: (pressed with laughter). Okay, let's try it first, but this time, put your feet on the pedal.
Driver: Nogami? Is that possible?
Technician: (still choking with laughter) You can.
Driver: Let's try... Oh, it's more convenient. So you didn’t tell me right away. Pushed.
Technician: Now turn the key in the ignition to the point.
Driver: Where's my ignition?
Technician: At the base of the steering wheel, right.
Driver: Hmm. I have a hole and there is no key in it.
Technician: Well, put it in.
Driver: Who?
Technician: (losing patience) The ignition key!
Driver: How do I know which ignition key I have?
Technician: (holding his head) This is usually the biggest key on the bundle.
Driver: A bunch?
Technician: Where do you keep all the other keys?
Driver: Aah! So I lost her two days ago. Do I need a key?
Technician: (hangs up) Tuoooooo... Driver: Ale?