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The young man calling a friend.
 - Look, I'm in the club pathos hooked Ksenia Sobchak, and her friend, all super!
 - Come on! So invite them to visit, and bring to me.
 - Ok, I'll try.
 The guy thinks - must run to the drug store to buy condoms. I ran to the pharmacy, standing in line, again calling a friend.
 - Well, we'll be right there, waiting for you at home?
 - I ran to the drugstore for condoms.
 - You what?! Well this Ksenia Sobchak, a socialite, TV presenter, and the second is also packed full, all in bryuliki, outside their cars waiting to the carrier, it is not those chicks to which you are accustomed to, then a completely different level.
 A young man approached the pharmacy window:
 - I most expensive condoms.

 - Alo, dear, I have two news: good and bad ...
 - (Doomed) Well, start with the good.
 - (Triumphantly) Airbag worked !!! ..

Parachutist tells her friend:
 - Once in a jump at me confused slings. I only remember that fell on some roof, kicked her and hung up. Then I open my eyes and see the light around him, and they come up to me ... with white wings behind their backs ...
 - Did the angels?
 - No, broilers.

Lady gets a second lover. A friend asks:
 - And what is the first something bad?
 She says that nothing, everything is fine, delicate, sensitive, caring, taste great, great cooks, she goes to the theater, art versed, etc.
 Girlfriend, wondering:
 - Then why the second?
 Answer:
 - And the second - not pidaras ...
 - Tell me son, honestly - dope smoking?
 - Dad ... I - a daughter.
 On one of the days of childbirth presented antiaircraft gun, which radically changed the life of Carlson.

Neighbors passed an apartment with a hot young man by the name of Karen south.
 Karen from home regularly comes some weird shit, and he smokes it.
 By nakurke Karen begins to read. But the books in the apartment only Maxwell's textbook "Nuclear physics for the curious." No, I do read it in 12 years, but not in the morning, loud, role-Tajik accent!
 You sit at night for the Note, and because the wall is heard: "panimash long time piriroda iliktronna-magnitnava field remained a mystery to scientists, all the fools out there in the Americas. But then they discovered bl @ that the field arises from the tiny, already pi ... y, ilimintarnoy particles re ... Pede ... peredvizhayuscheysya pa @ heritelno complex orbit around the nucleus of an atom. Aaaaaa bl @ yayayaya, chumaaaaa !!! »
 And so - the six consecutive pages of a textbook, alternating mats and shouts in their native language. Then Karen let go, it's a little singing some strange songs and shuts up.
But a few days later he again nakurivaetsya and reads all the same first page.
 I'm going to kill him.