ANEC about garbage)))

The exam at the school police.
 Examiner:
 - Here's to you a photo of the suspect in the profile, any special signs you can call?
 1st student:
 - I suspect one ear.
 Examiner:
 - Heverno, the same profile, you deuce fellow cadet.
 2nd student:
 - I suspect one eye.
 Examiner:
 - You, too, two, remind this profile photos, do not have even one among you sane?
 3rd student:
 - The suspect wears lenses.
 The examiner was surprised:
 - At last something great fellow student, just tell your stupid colleagues how you came to that conclusion.
 3rd student:
 - It is elementary - one ear points will not stay !!!

The children were taken on a tour of the police.
 The shield hanging pictures "wanted posters».
 Little Johnny:
 - This here is something these and look for?
 Cop:
 - Yes! Their most !!!
 Little Johnny:
 - That's the cops, damn it! Well you have them when photographed, not tied ????

The peasant's wife went to the beach and did not return. He said the police.
 Cops came a week later.
 - We have for you 3 news, the good, the bad and excellent.
 - Let's poor.
 - Your wife drowned - we pulled her out of the water.
 - And what is good?
 - We picked her hefty bucket of crabs.
 - And what magnificent?
 - Tomorrow we pull out it again and invite you for a beer!

My wife goes to the police, since the husband has no home for three days.
 - What are some distinguishing features does it have?
 - Find will ...

Road. There are two traffic cop, earn grandmother.
Suddenly it flies Lada, a man leans, so emotions voice, with dismay on his face:
 - Children! There's a bend to your flooded!
 Traffic cops are undermined. With sirens fly to the place where the man pointed.
And see the following picture: a dead goat, you can see the car hit, and grandmother, swirling around him.
They stood together in silence for about a minute. The first to break the silence:
 - Do you remember the number?
 - Neea ...