ANEC for elections))))

Railway station. Elderly myzhchina out of the car and in otp.pavlyaytes byfet pepekysit. Pe.ped the way to go - he smotpit nome.p on his car, then to find it.
 - 1492 ... Excellent! This nome.p impossible to forget ... This year ...
otkpytiya Amepiki  Chepez minute digits more it returns to zheleznodopozhnyyu platfopmy and politely sppashivaet slyzhaschego:
 - Pposto, you do not remember in what was gody otkpyta Amepika?

Late vechepom boy comes to his father and sppashivaet:
 - Dad, what's next, the Moon or Hyu-Yopk?
 - Son, you have a large, and you should be ashamed to ask such stupid Checklists. Here look out the window and s see the sky. What do you see there?
 - Moon.
 - The correct. A Hyu-Yopk you anywhere you see?
 - No.
 - Here and draw appropriate conclusions.

There comes a man in a bar, orders a 12 stacks of tequila and quickly starts to drink, one by one. When he drank 10, the bartender said:
 - I would be in your place so quickly did not drink. This could end badly!
 - Esssli you had used the identity, Thu and I have, you'd also drank quickly! - She said the man and quickly slammed two more glasses.
 - What have you got?
 - I have 25 cents!

Bill Clinton and Pope dying in one day.
By mistake, Clinton goes to heaven, and the Pope to the underworld. Dad goes to hell administrator and explains the situation. The administrator checked the paper and found that indeed there was an error and that Clinton had to go to hell, and Dad in heaven.
 Well, the Pope sent upstairs to heaven. He goes and meets Clinton, descended into hell.
Dad says Bill:
 - Sorry for the confusion.
 - Nothing happens - said Clinton.
 - So I can not wait to be in paradise!
 - Why the rush?
 - You know, Bill, I always dreamed to meet the Immaculate Virgin Mary and now my dreams come true.
 Clinton sympathetically looked at Dad and said:
 - I'm sorry, Dad, but you're too late!


See also

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