After the election Bashny.Net

Nemalobukov, but is read, Zadornov in his style.

So, "after the election».

ELECTION

Yes, unfortunately they ran out and there was the usual gray Putney.

The most popular in the West dialogue after the elections in Russia:

 - Heard? Yesterday in the Russian presidential elections were.

 - Yes? So who took the second place?

MEDVEDEV

So it is time to part with the former president. There is evidence that he hid from everyone is very upset. The fact is that with the assassination attempt on Putin organized the attack and Dmitri Medvedev. Attackers have thrown him a worm farm in the "Classmates"!

Churov

Since the work of the election commission headed Churov, Russia soon to appear new terms: to know the election results - "kick in"; aide electoral commission - "lumps". A "Chur you!" - A curse in relation to Putin's opponents.

One person from birth given talents to be an artist, another - a writer, and so on ... Churov from birth given talents to be the head of the electoral commission! Come up with transparent ballot boxes could only truly talented man! And to prove that Russia can be transparent elections. So it was fun to watch: transparent boxes next to each observer, and was closely watched and how it is filled. As if this process depends on the falsification of the elections.

Russian slogan "For Fair Elections!" - The same thing that the call in Spain "For Fair bullfight!»

I understand that the Russian humanity long remember Churov, but it will be even longer remember one of the best Polish composers - Penderecki. As if nothing had happened, with Maya Plisetskaya and Rodion Shchedrin, he came to the premiere of the opera "Dead Souls" at the Bolshoi Theater, I sat down in the box. The audience in the theater is always a special interest - see who is there today in a box? Poor Penderecki! He did not know what he looks like ... Churov! He did not know who Churov. Therefore, it was incredibly surprised when the audience up out of the pit and from the amphitheater, began shouting at him various offenses. Unfortunately, Penderecki in Russian understands. For what?! What had he done to the Russian people? He's not a politician Polish, and composer. Maya Plisetskaya, he quickly explained everything. By the end of the play it was called guards to immediately deliver Penderecki in the car, so an angry mob, it is not broke, taking the Churov. Penderecki was so shocked, that was afraid to stay in Russia and the next day flew to Poland.

Conclusion: those in Russia is similar to Churov, advise urgently to shave their beards or walking with security, but rather over the next six years, did not leave the house.

The newspapers wrote that Churov repeatedly prayed for the election results. Look, it worked! Evening of March 4, when the results were known, and they reported to the Kremlin, Putin is so touched that he emerged ... a tear! Zamirotochil! Since Putin icons yet, zamirotochil myself!

Prokhorov

From reliable sources it became known that when Prokhorov learned about the election results, he exclaimed: "E-mine!»

Still, many who voted for Prokhorov happy: "Look, we had even overtaken Zhirinovsky!»

In general, the elections, many voters are treated as interesting competition. Well, gold medal - it is clear, as always, Zyuganov silver and bronze Prokhorov! Hooray! The three entered!

Elections to be next time more interesting, it is necessary to award a variety of nomination candidates. For example, "Best Debut", of course, Prokhorov. "The best acting work" - Zhirinovsky, he is "People's Choice Award." Mironov - "The Best Actor".

Still it is possible to establish such a nomination, "Who more times Putin lost the election." For this nomination we continue to fight hard Zhirinovsky and Zyuganov.

In short, Prokhorov done! Do not lose heart! Even promised to organize your party. "Just cause" did not work, can now get "left the matter." For this first task - to get into the Duma! If Michael will be a deputy, I will write the story "Gulliver in the land of Deputies!"

In awarding the prize to Prokhorov, I would have said it best in the post-election night saying: "The elections were unfair, but legitimate." This is in nashenski, in Russian! Translation: "Legitimate, though unjust." That is what I always say is, Motherland, and there is a state. State elections are recognized, and the people there. Well, that and will continue to live. Who the law who, for justice, and who is on the concepts. And no American "regional committee" so we are not afraid. They, blunt, do not understand how we could have been four years of the current president, but not real.

I understand those who voted for Prokhorov. Finally, they said, it appeared in the Russian oligarch honest. He himself said that the fair has acquired the first million: manufactured in Moscow boiled American jeans and sell them tax-free. This, of course, compared to today, honest business.

By the way, in addition to the organization of the party, he decided to expand his business and issue registered candy "Bear in the E-Mobile". However, in response, Putin promised to release candy "Bear in the north".

Swamp area

It's over there "orange" revolution, "banana", "blue", "velvet" ... And we, if the revolution happens, it will be called "swamp."

Finally, there was the renewal of an ancient Russian fun "wall to wall" in the nation-wide scale. Now this game is to get a new name - "rally at the rally."

New popular expression: "Glamurnizatsiya rallies!»

Zhirinovsky

Zhirik too good! Nobody gave us so much joy his speech before the election, as he did. His public relations was organized so bright, tastefully, I think, at the time the party renamed the "LDPiaR."

However, I would have advised him to walk now with tight security. Many saw the live he had insulted in the debate Alla Pugachev. That he will not pass in vain! For Alla Borisovna (also learned from a very reliable source) stood Maxim Galkin (her husband). He called on the phone and insulted Valuev voice ... Zhirinovsky.

Zyuganov

When I wrote that the best program from the Communist Party and Zyuganov, I was wrong. The best program was Vladimir Putin - a computer program counting votes.

PUTIN

I think in addition to regular program counting of votes the election headquarters of Vladimir Putin headed Govorukhin made a few very loyal moves. / General name of "Govorukhin" - talking surname. Mal talker, but Ukhin! /

Firstly, for the entire period of the campaign, Putin made no mention of the party "United Russia". He shied away from (not from the word "Churov") of its connection with it, as if afraid any recollection of it to get dirty. It's right! Oh, if he had stuck to continue!

Second right step, Putin has openly declared on television that at each polling station will be installed the camera. What kind of camera - not specified. It has led many people to vote for him.

I have to Vladimir Vladimirovich one question: "We have in fact any success in the country is built on pullbacks. After his chosen people, a people will get rolled back? »

More very time Vladimir Vladimirovich said that certainly will introduce a tax on luxury. First it responded Anna Semenovich. She immediately decided to reduce their bust.

They say also that the vote for Putin, many intelligent people, because in one of his articles, he promised that the program "Demolition of dilapidated housing," the first paragraph will make "Dom-2".

And the producers show "Battle of psychics," as it became known, had already fired the writer who invented the job to predict who will become president of Russia.

"UNITED RUSSIA»

It is very true that Putin during the election campaign avoided mentioning the "United Russia". The fact that he learned about the new violations during the fall elections. It turns out that the most votes "United Russia" took a lunatic asylums, where its use was conducted counting of votes, which are distributed in the minds of patients.

We also learned the reason why people are so warmly and enthusiastically received the news anxious to reopen the "MMM", "swindlers zhulёm, but some alternative to the" United Russia "is necessary!»

It would seem that ernichat kidding, but actually last night I was scared the first time. I heard Putin on Manezh Square herded the crowd shouted: "We won!" And the crowd echoed him: "Victory! Victory! ", Forgetting that she herded under the slogan" We are for Putin! We are for stability! We are for 500 rubles! "Something like I have in the newsreels thirties and forties saw. Dangerous symptom! There is nothing more dangerous than the boiling political enthusiasm! I understand that this is only the first orgasm, but you want to have a second, third ... Whoever Putin advised not to get involved in the political temperature of boiling? Not in vain to stream myrrh. He was the image of restrained policy. For the first time the image has changed. Oh, not good that's it! If he again after the election will merge with the "United Russia", will dismiss their Druganov not disperse all this Kremlin-ministerial Tale: Golikova Nabiullina, Skrynnik Mutko and Shmatko - Russia could get into position even heavier than when Stalin. Stalin even cared about education. About the Writers 'Union, the Composers' Union, the Union of Cinematographers. And today it's all falling apart, with the same specially Kremlin lads. Since the time of Peter I was not such that the people tried to turn into resignation, according to the majority. Again, during the Soviet era they pretended that these are. And in the kitchen everything became dissidents. And now, in the kitchen few dissent. That's what you need to deprive the youth education, so she did not even know that it is possible dissent.

P.S. This brings to mind the words of Nabokov's "Portraits of the president in a reasonable country should be no bigger than a postage stamp."

P.P.S. Twenty years ago, in my concert my friends played then written on the topic of the day couplets. I recently went through the paper, found them and was horrified! Couplets and then that sounded cocky. Twenty years have passed, and what do you think? They have grown old? No! They were even worse!

***
Morning colors delicate color
The walls of the ancient Kremlin,
Wakes up at dawn
All of the Kremlin's Tale.

***
Vigorous, mighty,
Guys, I do not know steeper.
The Fellowship of the Kremlin's mine,
You are the most tenacious.

***
Have you heard how the blackbirds sing?
No, not the thrushes, not wild,
And who reign reins
We gave ourselves as blind.
So they took their seats,
Democrats learned the songs.
I recognized them by their voices,
Former Russian overlords.

***
Farewell to an hour and the pain of separation
It will take forever and that's when,
Again pozhmёm hands with each other -
We are in the Duma again for many years!

***
We are all watching the miracles,
But there is nothing more wonderful,
How to see how Parliament
chudit And he goes the roof.
And if the Duma will gather,
That roof goes at it,
And our people are given diva,
Under the roof there is nothing.

***
Peaceful atom flies
Over Polesie, over a dead zhnivёm.
He leaves and willows,
And in everything we eat and drink.

***
All Earth took: pesticides, uranium and nitrates.
To build a new life after we are imbeciles.

***
Broad is my native land,
A lot of it forests, fields and rivers.
I have no other country I know,
Where so I messed up people.

***
Ah, good to live in the country of Russia.
With our we do not grieve.

***
Spinning, spinning blue ball,
Steep Wert we to the country,
But people keen seen a mile away,
Steep aside, just in the wrong.

***
Leave everything to the West, to choose the right country,
Well, we are here to stay in the civil war!

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