Three stories =)

One young man, sitting in the gallery (the audience is built amphitheater), constantly glancing at some paper. Professor notices and requests to send their "spur." Student reddens, he apologizes, but does not move from their seats. After the third point does not stand a professor and rises to the student himself. Leaf is a photograph of a beautiful girl with a commemorative inscription:
 "When you will be hard - look at me».
 The professor was touched. When he is very embarrassed by coming down, the photo was successfully replaced by a very real crib and calmly cheated, for anyone without worrying.

***

Dream of me as something extremely topical dream: I'm racing on the highway in a car ... suddenly a truck blocking the way I roll ... nowhere to slow down - do not have time before the inevitable collision - just a few moments ...
 Brain feverishly Looking for a solution ... I understand that it is necessary to save the most valuable - his wife. Superhuman effort, to the limit, time to snatch his wife from the passenger seat and push it through the driver's door, he jump track ... roll down the slope, the machine is silent, as it is only a dream, explode - heppiendovka - the hero triumphs ... and wakes up.
 Now imagine the feeling of his wife, who is sleeping peacefully, and suddenly grabbed her in his arms and cast a mighty throw over the hip - from the couch to the floor ... and for some reason, after flying pillow.

***

There is a man in the woods. Towards him the old woman. A man says:
 - Grandma, what are you doing in this wilderness?
 Granny responds:
 - I, my son, Baba Yaga. I go, here, in the woods, collecting toadstools. Then from a mix by shit, and I insist on alcohol. Derived medicinal tincture, I sell it to people, the more I live. If you want, and you tell the secret of healing tincture?
 - No, thank you, Grandma, - says the man - as money on shit to do with the fly agaric, I do know.
 - Well, good-bye, my son ... Good luck!
 - And you, Grandma, good-bye!
 Baba Yaga turned and went to her side, and Pelevin in his ...