From the Life of Pathologists

1. According to the autopsy, the patient died just like that.
2. Sick of opening refused.
3. tampering Achilles failed.
4. Employee morgue was no autopsy performed rescuer. Satisfactory condition of the dead, he is getting better.
5. An autopsy conducted butcher, according to him, the body is dead from a lack of internal organs.
6. After the death of a pathologist revealed himself.
7. An autopsy conducted psychologist. "What is unsociable and closed corpse" - he complained. - "But in ten sessions, I will bring him into the fold of society.»
8. During the autopsy said, "Doctor, this is a very serious?»
9. Arsenevsky morgue was caught corpse delivers on nonferrous metal aluminum tag with fingers colleagues. Condemned to premature opening.
10. From the police department entered the corpse of citizen N. 42 years. As demonstrated by the autopsy, the citizen has suffered many fractures congenital bone and kidney repulsed.

11. In the city morgue N. accidentally brought a pig carcass. When the error was spotted, is entirely zafarmalineny corpse was sold to a museum in Chicago called "hoofed megamutant of Russia»
12. The park was found the corpse of a man of about 20 years. As follows from the testimony, located next to a group of young people, he was a dead body from birth and always lying here.
13. In the morgue, the corpse of a student enrolled Arsenyev, who died suddenly at the lecture. As demonstrated by the autopsy - the student slept.
14. tampering Uncle Vasya plumbing failed - scalpel hopelessly bogged down in padded jacket.
15. In order to determine the cause of death, autopsy attempted a citizen N., found in the forest. The attempt failed, the scalpel completely zatuplivaetsya an ax sticking out of the chest of the corpse.
16. The coroner refused to open the hanging, citing the fact that "the corpse turns».
17. N. pathologist to dispute dissected corpses from the collarbone to groin favorite epadonom.
18. Bloody maniac city N. proved Razdelayko pathologist. He was fervently condemned colleagues: "How can you just open, it is necessary, and allow others to express themselves," - swore surgeon Rezun.
19. In the city morgue u (America) was brought strange stirring corpse. In the call to the morgue with the question: "What is it?" - Correspondents got a strange answer, - «We need your brain.»
20. When asked why he chose this profession, pathologist Parabiraev replied: "Yes, good! I would like the doctor, and clients are quiet and have no complaints. »
21. The pathologist Petrov assembled body of a man who fell from the twenty-fifth floor in a neat pile with a shovel and then opened.
22. Once the pathologist Petrov sitting at home watching television, thought and opened a cat.
23. On the morning after the day hungover pathologist colleagues were surprised to find that at night they had to open all the bodies, guard and police patrol. And that they have not yet reached the morgue.
24. Sometimes the pathologist Pidorchuk liked to go to a restaurant. There he always ordered a large lobster, got favorite scalpel, and a long and difficult it opened. After that, the lack of armor on patients has always been his burst of cheerfulness.
25. Under Chernobyl was found a strange creature, not looking in any way. The autopsy pathologist Petrov hurt, but it has brought in quite a comfortable madhouse and now it feels good.
26. When the pathologist Zhadenkov seen very fat people, he approached him and said reproachfully: "That's what I'm going to open you? As you also bogged down the scalpel. "People were very nelovkol they apologized for a long time and then sat on a diet.
27. And they say that night at the morgue walks horror pathologists - Black Surgeon. He splices autopsy as they were, and pathologists have to redo everything in the morning.
28. When the pathologist Petrov had nightmares, he always got up a couple of dissected cadavers, and the soul again becomes quiet and fun. And when his neighbors were getting, he dissected the corpse of a neighbor, and became calmer, not only in the soul, but also on the landing.
29. At the showdown stale corpse, whose stomach has the capacity to cocaine, the capacity has been damaged. Smell this wonderful corpse came from all the city morgues.
30. Autopsy famous pickpocket named pianist, did not take place. When approaching the corpse, the staff lost tools and personal belongings.
31. Somehow forgetting pathologist Petrov opened the pie with liver and bodies have been collected.
32. The former pathologist Ivanov went into surgery. He was a brilliant doctor, but always on the operation carried a specially trained nurse, who from time to time to remind: "Before the opening of the body was alive!»
33. At autopsy stirred and sleepily asked to remove appendicitis extremely accurately.


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