I was once Santa Claus. Unwillingly. But there was.
In Preston fished my head. for education (or something like this) Olga. I do so, and so twisted, and skin folds, and Alzheimer's disease simulated. Nothing helps. Clutching at his throat and said:
-Dryan! Rotter says, not the throat. Well, right now the case. The holiday we planned ...
Here I already howled with joy. Holidays Well passion as love. However, soon howled with grief. It turned out that it was a holiday that they have, and I have a very contrary - work is planned.
-Koroche, I've made a little list - my plenitelnitsa broadcast. - Well, the leaders in the race for expulsion. Truants any, figligany, child molesters, traitors and other worthy people. You appoint Santa Claus, because the list is not all able to memorize the text of more than ten words. The script is. Roles distribute themselves. Here is a list of folk artists, here's the script, I think, a very brilliant itself. Begin rehearsals.
I looked at the list of Schindler, the soul warmer. People as one worthy. Worthy of the plot in the program "of the duty." While not all.
What kind of light in the rotation? Son, why the hell is plunging?
Well you need Maiden same scenario. And she absences to hell. Let redeem.
Well, all right, I thought. It is logical. Play Snow White is definitely no one else. I leafed through the script. Now just do not remember, but the fact is - there are characters such as Count, Deuce, Three, Four, Five (like). Well, all but the delirium of their relationships with each other and with other participants in the orgy.
-Che For kindergarten? Who all this, pardon the expression, drama vysral?
-Stsenary Written by me, I agreed and approved ...
-I, In the sense that the font of some ridiculous. Allow me to go?
-Go. But I want you to understand exactly what in the event of failure, the next day will be amazed in the rights and the liver.
-Only Family do not touch. I went.
In the evening of the third day I looked at the beautiful faces troupe painful shock.
-Raby! - I said to him. - We have before us the task to break this sleepy town enchanting show! We have in the asset: a.) The world's best actors. It is you, if someone does not understand b.) The world's best director, part-time Santa Claus. It's me. c.) and dupe. I'm not sure he's the best in the world and do not understand what for we need it, but we have it. And I insist on our active role in relation to it. The liabilities have one as well.) But powerful - no time. Disassemble role. Santa Claus did not understand, because distributed by the thieves.
-Has A question! And we drink?
-I Said you were the slaves, and not stupid zhyvotnyh! Drinking will. Of course.
-And I do not drink - said Light-Maiden.
He looked at her with regret judgmental, and work has begun to boil.
The world's best actors on the stage doing anything, but it is "anything" does not coincide with the approved script. Actors want to drink and did not want to teach the text. If you run out with terrible mug, depicting, for example, Max, has somehow turned out that accompany your run-down text - this is nifiga. With that, the company is very sincerely did not understand what was expected of her wish.
The maximum that was possible - for a week to rehearse the procedure for entering the stage. The text did not go any way. I had to take action. Namely - to catch the elusive man who was responsible for the music, sound, lights, props. Concurrently caretaker. But to call it beautiful sound engineer.
From personal (I notice this especially!) Means I have bought two bottles of spirits, presented together with sound engineer task: the troupe on a piece of paper with an expression of will read his monologues, he writes them, and during the show will be responsible for the plywood. At that decided to do.
On the Day of enchanting show, just before the start, the troupe in war paint poured a liquid called "Lemon". (Incidentally, there is someone alive today, upotreblinvshy this wonderful drink?) Maiden of Light, perforce accustomed to rehearsals, I drank well. By the time the actors on stage are a plohohodyaschuyu advertising this same "lemon." But I'm not particularly worried. We have also been Sound. I do not worry, I turned out to be in vain.
Sound itself is advertising himself some infernal drink, but to look him in the eye and find out it was not possible because of the extremely misted eyeglass. The fact that the show started, I guess he heard his voice from the hall, amplified speakers. Grabbing a drunken Snow White, I was blown up on the stage. It has been like as well as intended. But then! Next Sound and Troupe seized in the heroic battle on the theme "Can you nakosyachit more than I?»
Twos, Threes and Coke went on stage for what is to them a single understandable, whim. What came out - it was not clear. Sound mix up some obscure * uynyu than completely confused the already vulnerable brains of the action. It remained to hope that the event will look avant-garde simply reading a cute Christmas story. Drunk Four and Five stupidly stood on the stage and looked with horror somewhere upwards. Sounded choir performed Cola, two and three, which at the same time shy to go on stage, preferring to drink with shame. It was the soundtrack of someone's solo - on stage in Brownian motion seen almost everything. Value kerf chorus sound engineer - the scene died out.
Hall howled. Howling and lying. It was a triumph! We left for the final bow. In vain, by the way, not rehearsed this part. Maiden of Light, probably overestimating gutaperchivost his body, having made a deep bow to the edge of the stage, cruel obeyed the laws of physics and fell from the stage. But I got back fairly briskly. The next day, it turned out that hand-in Svetin snegurochevskom body still broken.
Neither the Rights nor the liver I have, surprisingly, is not impressed. Just Olga, Lord bless her, she stopped to greet me. I understand it is possible. The authors are very jealous of their works.