Joke of the day))

Doctor, I have five years there were no men!
Yes, but where does I ?! Ya psychiatrist.
Doctor, a little more and I'll go crazy !!!

The answer to spam:
"Increased member of your technique. However now increase his wife's mouth? »

you native of St. Petersburg, as if distributing the bridge you do not talk, "Wow!", and "bl @!»

Coming soon in all world competitions prizes will be referred to: & quot; «Third» & quot ;, & quot; «Second - champion» & quot; and & quot; «blah again Russian» & quot;

Breeders brought a new variety of the May beetle. On May 1, the beetle spreads leaflets, shouting slogans and drunken brawl.

 - Why are you covered in bruises?
 - Yes, that's a boomerang found him and bruises!
 - Yes, throw it tries% d!
 - On himself throw!

Speaking at the computer:
 - What time?
 - Where?
 - Bottom right ...

Leonardo da Vinci spent nearly 12 years, drawing his lips "Mona Lisa." Because often distracted. That will make them water tower, the crane lifting, you want to fly ...

 - We expect great things!
 - Soft sign forgot ...
 - I mean, we are waiting for great things?
 - I mean, take the toilet paper!

All animals were hiding in the bushes, and blushed when they saw what makes Robinson on Friday night.

 - Ckazhite, and when's your birthday?
 - And why you?
 - Oh, I wonder when the nature of the output ...

Remember when dress pantyhose, behind bars should be three: two of tights and a congenital.

Long live the Russian pop music - an inexhaustible source of plywood coffin of Russian culture!

Churches are required to collect alms managers. Full time. Representative appearance. Social package. Overalls.

In the fight against corruption, the main thing - not a victory, but participation ...

Only AVTOVAZ can increase output, reducing the amount of
produced cars: by increasing the production of spare

Cock-intellectual is the one who came out of the chicken coop says: "I am here with you
little trodden, sorry »

Well, and the final)))

Life without black bars is like a zebra without assholes.

English fans went on the Red Square, and thought that more issues
it foreigner - whether fur cap with a red star, or T
with the inscription "USSR", or Putin's portrait under his arm.

A woman all should be fine! And the soul, and mind, and all the things you
Now we think!

If you see a woman in black glasses, a machine for counting money
one hand and a sword in the other, you know - it's Patriotic Themis.

 - But I'm personally I love porridge with lumps!
 - Yes, you have always been is like to eat! ®

 - Honor is necessary to preserve his youth. I, for instance, no one to give on a first date to dissolve the hands ... God, what a fool I am ...

 - Mom, why have all the school "fool" is called?
 - Well, what can you do, if we have the name of this, and indeed so that all matched! ®

Every year toothpastes are getting better and worse teeth.

They talk to two friends.
 - These pills pregnancy is very effective! I was in the fourth month.
 - ??? You contradict itself!
 - Well no. A week ago I was six.

Editor pronounces the young reporter his dissatisfaction with her work:
 - Larissa, I want you just the bare facts !!!
 - And you do not want facts of? ®

He is a bad boss who does not want to become a slave owner.

Tell me that I'm wrong, and I'll tell you who you are !!!

The wife asks, looking at my phone - and it is for this Igor Ivanovich, you have written a text message - "Pupsik, I am today in the new short skirt and no panties ..." Is he gay? ..
Dumb ...

* "Rubber Man" knows how to stretch the fun!
* The mother of five children has admitted that it is not their mother and their father!
* Dima Bilan - hidden advertising Vimpel-Telecom, or where the missing letter J!
* Children moles and people. All, however, about metrostroevtsy! ®

Employees of Leningrad NPP, tails between their legs, refute the rumors about the release of radiation.

Two blondes:
 - Do you like my new dress?
 - Sorry, I'm in a hurry. I is not up to the scandals.

The prisoner wrote a letter to his wife:
 - Thank you for a nail file in the cake, and now I have the most well-groomed nails in the chamber!

 - Read your child a story.
 - How can I read the fairy tale the child when there is a sleeping beauty
loved necrophiliac, Princess frog zoophyte ... Snow
ran into a group action, Thumbelina-pedophile escaped from the Mole ... Go for the best beer popyu.

Plushenko will ride the snot Bilan, which he so well knows how to breed. ®

 - The patient, say "well»!
 - AAA !!!
 - All that's enough.
 - All that's enough, shut up!
 - Doctor, AAAA! You needle from the nail me to remove!

But in the 19th century, the phrase "get link" had absolutely
another value.

There are few men who dared to ask at the pharmacy ONE condom.

In the evening and night to hear the surf of the sea, and in the morning you can see who washed.

There are two popnoaktrisy:
 - And yesterday I participated in the contest. Ghost!
 - How is it - a ghost?
 - Well, I fought for two hundred men and only one received a prize.

Literary SMS-ka:
Naf, we are on the market that take? Gypsum brick or straight? Nif and Nuf

 - Excuse me, it's you - the same King Arthur that drew the sword from the stone?
 - Yes, it's me!
 - We have a UAZ stuck in the mud, let's go help ...

Comes to the salon Bentley proletarian in a uniform and boots, asked:
 - How much Bentley GT Coupe?
 - 250,000 euros
 - A loan for a year?
 - EUR 25 000 per month
 - Dohera, and for two years?
 - 12,500
 - Dohera, and for three years?
 - Maybe it makes sense to take the car cheaper?
 - The point may have, but stsuka, slab fell exactly on this

 - Dad, how much I need the money to get married?
 - I do not know, son ... I still pays ...

Rumble in the street. From the window he looks out and sees a bloody man trucker.
 - What happened?
 - Why, in the alley I would like to enter.
 - And why such a roar?
 - Yes is not present there alley ...


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