8 Things You Should Not Do When You Like a Girl

Do not make these mistakes if you want to like the girl you love and build a strong relationship with her.




Falling in love can cloud the mind of even the most reasonable person. When we like someone, we often act irrationally, making mistakes that can destroy a potential relationship before it even starts. Psychologists and interpersonal professionals identify several typical behavioral patterns that repel people and prevent them from forming healthy romantic relationships.

Research shows that 67% of dating failures are due to incorrect behavior in the initial stage of communication. Understanding these mistakes and avoiding them greatly increases the chances of a successful relationship.


1. Turning into an obsessive stalker
The danger of over-emphasis
Constant messages, calls and attempts to control create a feeling of suffocation and cause a desire to distance yourself. Healthy relationships are built on mutual respect for personal space.


One of the most common mistakes is trying to be close to the object of sympathy. Men often think that showing more attention will show their seriousness. However, the psychology of interpersonal relationships works differently.

Clinical psychologist John Gottman found that successful couples maintain a balance between intimacy and autonomy. When one partner becomes too intrusive, the psychological mechanism of reaction is activated – the desire to restore freedom through distance.


2. Ignoring your own life



A common mistake is a complete shift of attention to the object of sympathy to the detriment of their own interests, career and friendships. This is not only ineffective in terms of attractiveness, but also psychologically unhealthy.

Principle of magnetic attractiveness
People are naturally drawn to those who live full, fulfilling lives. When you develop as a person, do what you love and maintain social connections, you become a more interesting and attractive partner. This creates a healthy foundation for a relationship where everyone brings something of value.


Neuropsychological studies show that the brain perceives as more attractive those people who demonstrate independence and self-sufficiency. This is due to evolutionary mechanisms of partner selection.


3. Pretending and creating a false image

The Artificiality Trap
Trying to misrepresent yourself sooner or later will lead to exposure. Moreover, such behavior creates an unhealthy basis for relationships built on deception.


The desire to impress often leads to an idealized version of yourself. People become interested in music they don’t listen to, read books they don’t care about, or express opinions they don’t share.

Studies of authenticity in relationships show that couples where partners were initially honest with each other show higher rates of relationship satisfaction and longevity. Pretending creates cognitive dissonance and emotional tension.


4. Excessive generosity and attention buying

Many men mistakenly believe that expensive gifts and constant spending will help win favor. Such behavior is often perceived as an attempt to compensate for a lack of other qualities or as a form of emotional pressure.

Psychology of material gestures
True affection is not bought. Excessive generosity at an early stage can create inequality in relationships and lead to the formation of consumer attitudes. Value represents attention, time and emotional support.


Social psychology explains this phenomenon through the theory of social exchange. When one person consistently gives more than they receive, there is an imbalance that can cause discomfort to the recipient and create a sense of debt.


5. Ignoring boundaries and signals



Failure to recognize and respect boundaries is a serious mistake that can completely destroy trust. This includes physical boundaries, emotional limits, and time frames.

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence
Successful relationships require a high level of emotional intelligence – the ability to read nonverbal signals, understand the emotional state of another person and adjust their behavior accordingly. Ignoring these signals demonstrates egocentrism and immaturity.


Neurolinguistic studies show that up to 93% of communication occurs at a nonverbal level. The ability to interpret body language, tone of voice, and other cues is critical to building healthy relationships.


6. Jealousy and controlling behavior

Jealousy early in dating is a red flag that repels potential partners. Trying to control communication with friends, checking social media, or making scenes out of attention to other people creates a toxic atmosphere.

The roots of destructive jealousy
Jealousy often stems from one’s own insecurity and fears. Instead of trying to control the other person, it’s important to work on your own self-esteem and trust. Healthy relationships are built on mutual trust, not control.


Psychological research suggests that pathological jealousy is associated with attachment disorders and can seriously damage relationships. Constructive approach involves open discussion of feelings and work on personal growth.


7. Lack of opinion

Attempts to please in everything and constant agreement with the girl’s opinion deprive you of individuality. People value partners who can support an interesting discussion and have their own position on various issues.

Value of Intellectual Partnership
Relationships thrive when partners can challenge each other intellectually, share different perspectives, and grow together. A person without an opinion seems boring and predictable.


Socio-psychological studies confirm that people are more attracted to those who demonstrate intellectual independence and the ability to think critically. This creates the basis for deep, meaningful relationships.


8. Trying to change yourself drastically

Radical changes in behavior, appearance or lifestyle for the sake of one person rarely lead to positive results. Such changes are often perceived as insincere and create an unstable basis for a relationship.

Balance between Growth and Authenticity
Healthy relationships should inspire personal growth, but not require a complete transformation. It is important to develop as a person, while maintaining its uniqueness and authenticity. The right partner will love you the way you are and support you in your quest to become better.


Studies of long-term relationships show that couples where partners accept each other and support mutual growth show higher rates of happiness and stability.


Conclusion

Building healthy relationships requires patience, self-awareness, and emotional maturity. Avoiding these mistakes does not guarantee success in love, but significantly increases the chances of forming a strong, mutually respectful relationship.

Remember, the best version of yourself is not an idealized image created to impress, but an authentic person working on their development and ready for a healthy relationship built on mutual respect and understanding.


Glossary of terms
Reaction.
A psychological phenomenon in which a person seeks to regain their freedom when feeling pressure or limitations.


Cognitive dissonance
Psychological discomfort that occurs when conflicting beliefs, values, or knowledge clash.


Emotional intelligence
The ability to recognize, understand and manage one’s emotions, and to interact effectively with others’ emotions.


Authenticity
The quality of being honest and sincere with oneself and others, the correspondence of internal beliefs and external behavior.


Theory of Social Exchange
A psychological theory that explains interpersonal relationships as a process of sharing resources where people seek to maximize benefits and minimize costs.


Behavioral patterns
Persistent patterns of behavior that repeat in similar situations and become characteristic of a particular person.