When my wife first cheated on me, I forgave her, but now I regret this decision. Bashny.Net

To the question, Who changes more - men or womenIt is difficult to get a clear, unambiguous answer. That’s because people are different and the situations they get into are also different. At least there are no official statistics in the world. There are only some speculations that vary from one “expert opinion” to another. However, many experts agree on one thing - treason, as such, is now becoming more than, say, 50 years ago. It’s all about the morals and rules of today’s world, as well as the greater awareness that the rise of the Internet and social media has fostered.



Both sides blame each other for cheating. Women believe that men are the most walkable, no matter what. And men, for their part, prove the opposite and reproach women for excessive infidelity. This dispute will not be resolved for a long time, that is for sure.

Who cheats more: men or women When I was young I did not consider myself any special handsome. I don't think so now, to be honest. But I was always aware that I understand girls and their problems and aspirations. It helped me find a common language with them and enter into a romantic relationship. The only thing that could disappoint me was when I was called a friend on a first or second date. Oh no. Wasted time and attention. But it was very rare.

Yeah, I've been chasing skirts. But to promise love to the grave, I never did. Well, you think we had a good time together, and then I decided to just switch to something else? What are our years? You'll find someone else. And besides, I'm still pretty sure that in a month or so, you can't really fall in love. Okay, sympathy, nothing more. And all subsequent suffering is just fiction, autosuggestion. Ask the scientists, they will confirm this.



And then I met Alice. Whether out of boredom or stress (I then very hard to get a job), I allowed myself not to be with her charming smart. I was me and a little worse. In the café, we could talk more about my problems than hers, and that's probably what got me there. Rarely will a girl spend a couple of hours on clothes and makeup, then sitting at a distant table, listen to what questions her cavalier was asked at the interview.

I got the job, which I was delighted with. We celebrated this together. And even though I had a new, even prettier version, I ignored it. We started walking like an official couple. We talked on the phone longer than usual, and then moved in. It’s such a banal thing, to be honest, but what to do if it was so. So it’s no surprise that Alice and I got married a year and a half later.



We were the first to have Gena, a wonderful baby. How many nerves were with him, how many nights we missed. I have always loved and will love my son, no matter what. At first, the wife manifested something like postpartum depression: she did not want to sit with the child, deal with him. I worked hard so I couldn’t give him enough time. When I finally managed to take a vacation, my wife asked me to devote more time to Gena, and she needed to “unwind”, spend a little time with friends, so as not to go crazy with her mother’s life.

She probably cheated on me for the first time. It was easy to calculate: Alice was a lover of falling asleep right in front of the TV, and her phone helpfully displayed all the messages on the screen, hiding nothing. That's how I learned that on that walk when I was sitting at home, it wasn't just my friends. It's just the first half hour. Then another person took their place. In general, nothing new, many have faced this. And I decided then that divorce was the most appropriate thing we should have done.

But I didn't actually succeed. The wife made excuses for a long time, swearing that it was her first and last time. That she didn't know that man, and she just wanted to change something about her routine. So, they say, it happens in recently given birth. Hormones and stuff. I was bitter, but I knew that by divorcing Gene's mother, I would condemn my young son to a life without a father. Or with your stepfather, which is often even worse. He made a difficult decision and chose not to do anything.



Before my daughter was born, everything was more or less normal. Alice became a housewife. I couldn’t control her while I was at work. Just listened more closely to her phone conversations and occasionally followed her messages when she wasn't around. Forgive, then forgive. Yes, there is sediment, but you can live. Except it wasn't a happy ending. Because in the second, which I've known at least once, she cheated on me when our second child was a year and a couple of months old. And it was no longer a "random" evening with the wrong man. It was a little romance that lasted about a month.

This time, Alice was not so miserable and helpless. Yes, for the first few minutes she begged, fell to her knees, begged me to forgive her. But when I said that the second time was another thing, she changed her tactics. She started blaming me for everything. I don’t give her enough time and attention. What she doesn't like is the way we live, my salary, our apartment. It seems that she has not been satisfied with all this for a long time. How does it change your relationship with other men? But it wasn't about her, it was about me.



Don’t get me wrong, if we didn’t have children, I would have behaved very differently. I swear, if I had found out about the affair on my wedding day, right in front of all of her and my relatives, I wouldn't have doubted for a second. Slap him in the face and cancel it. But kids are different. They're not guilty of their mother's sins, are they? And on the other hand, where 2, there and 3. And I knew internally that this would always continue. And my horns are going to grow higher and thicker. Do I need it?

And I decided yes, I should. Let us live with Alice like strangers. Let her go to the left, but those whom I gave life will feel in a full family. Period. That's what any father should do, not just me. That's my opinion. I can handle it.



But... Even this is not over, please bear with me a little longer. In general, one day, talking with friends in a bar and discussing our colleagues, one of us started a conversation about adultery. And the almost unanimous answer was, "Well, let him do a paternity test just in case." What if she filed for divorce? And then I started thinking, and it's true. Why didn't I think of that before? At least I'll know. I will not offend my so-called wife in any way. It won't get any worse. Well, I did recently. On my head.

I am the father of my son, Genki. My daughter is from another man. Alice doesn't even know who it is from. But we've been living together for a couple of weeks, knowing this information. I stopped sleeping, I didn't eat well. I don’t like this and I don’t know what to do. I want to know if I can keep my son and let my wife take my daughter and go with her on all four sides. I know my daughter is someone’s child, but not mine. Like Alice, she's someone else's woman, but certainly not mine. Would you like to know if a good lawyer will take this case? Or, as always, the children will be given to the mother, and I will be left without pants, but with the obligation to pay child support? Is there anyone here who can say that in two words?