Famous psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky: “But in the bakery on Laboutins our women continue to go.”

For some reason, very often our women suffer in relationships, but they do not break up. In Europe, almost every woman knows her worth and is not afraid to lose a man. Famous Psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky He talks about different shades of love in Russian and abroad. Because it often happens that the expectations of our women from princes abroad are not justified at all, and from marriage in principle.





Does he love you? Or is it going to court? A whirlpool with a head? Or a trial cohabitation without undue commitment? Marriage contract? Or do you like it? Love and money apart? Or who pays, who dances? What is the reason for such a big difference in the perception of relations and marriage between our women and Western ones, according to psychologist Labkovsky, will tell the editorial staff. "Site".





According to the psychologist, for many years there is a problem when people do not understand that marriage is not just feelings and sex, and even require that it be assumed to remain faithful, while people by nature are polygamous. As a result, the trend is that in the West, in the CIS - fewer marriages and more divorces. And women are eager for equality, but how they use it is unclear.





Ex-Rijanese, now Parisian Ilona in shock: she began to care for a novice French financier, his salary is more than her salary florist once in ten, but counts every penny. I’m sure he started a separate line in Ecel, “Expenses for Elona,” and when I jokingly offered to pay one after a dinner together, he said.

He exhaled with relief and replied, “You ate more anyway!” What kind of romance can we talk about? As a result, many of my friends prefer to communicate with local Arabs, who are more gallant than the native French.





Another Latvian citizen, Lena, received a contract to work in Copenhagen, after a while married a Dane. Not only does everyone have their own money and all the bills are in half, so one day her husband calculated that her dressing room occupies too much space that he does not use, so her share of the rent should be greater.





The conflict is obvious: modern people with their emotions in the usual marriage can not live. Marriage is a very stable institution associated with home, money, children, relatives, and love is an ephemeral emotion that cannot be formatted into a centuries-old institution.

Love in Russian

1. "In the pool with his head," and there - be what happens.
2. Some, but yours.
3. Men pay, for which they "dance" in full.
4. The marriage contract interferes with mutual trust.
5. Preserve - interferes with romance, easier - then abortion.
6. Be patient.

Love abroad

1. Marriage contract.
2. Relationships get dissected all the time - let's talk, let's go to a psychologist.
3. Women choose at least men.
4. Search your social layer.
5. Any violence or aggression is called by the police.
6. Life has gone awry - state rescue services and juvenile assistants are connected.

Everything is exaggerated here, but the point is clear. But the reason needs to be dealt with.

“Let us begin with the general concepts of psychology, Russian and Western, which are different. Let me make a reservation right away, there is no Soviet psychology apart – there is a Russian psychology that has adapted to the situation. It's related to Orthodoxy. This is not a culture or a religion, this is a mentality that has evolved over the centuries, and the focus is on suffering.





Accordingly, marriage is a test, and sex is a sin necessary for procreation. No wonder, wedding songs and ceremonies here are associated with crying: Mom, don't give me, Dad, take home. The husband, in the image of the church, in such families is the king and God. Wife and children are human.





Therefore, despite the happy idea of a doll on the hood of a luxury car, people are ready for the fact that marriage is a trial, conflict and burden. The ideas of suffering, patience and humility are reflected in the psychology of people. And accordingly, families. Despite the fact that the roots of European culture are also Christian, these values have no value. In fact, marriage for love first appeared in the Middle Ages.





To date, in EuropeanUnlike the Russian, there is no desire to tolerate humiliation, insults, shouting, beatings, insults, treason. However, this is possible if they are neurotic with sadomasochistic tendencies. But they don’t tolerate it, and immediately call the police. For everyone, their own values are above everything else.





“Besides religion and origins, there is another essential factor regulating relations: demography. In Europe, men are not so spoiled by women. And in Russia, and in Latvia - spoiled. Russian women feel an acute shortage of men, which dictates tough and even cruel conditions of the “market”. For example, in Europe on the streets women dress about the same – sneakers, jeans, sweater, jacket.





And in Russia – heels, dress, bright cosmetics, necklaces – everyday realities of our streets. The bakery will not come out without Laboutins. So Russian women endure, because, especially recently, there are more of them. After the war, it was believed for decades that if you didn’t get married after 25 years, it was over.

Much in the perception of relations between our women, according to the psychologist, laid down since childhood. If there were scandals in the family, it is likely to be the same in her relationship. Every generation of Russian women teaches young children to look for a man who will be a patron, and then whatever happens. Now this trend is changing a little, but in small cities it is very common.





You have to work on yourself first. You need to value yourself, love and develop, not rely on anyone. Only an emotionally stable and self-confident person can be happy and not demand too much from another.

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