The requirement to study well is the worst mistake of parents! Read and understand to all adults. Bashny.Net

How we want our children to be happy! Sometimes this desire completely blinds us, and we commit fatal acts. parenting. One of the most rude is to demand that a child have excellent marks in his diary, say that his future depends on it, or at least a trip to the sea in the summer. It would seem that what is wrong with the fact that the child studied well and had a good certificate for admission to the university?





Editorial "Site" I came across a candid post from the mother of many children Elena Kucherenko about why it is so dangerous to demand excellent marks from the child. “When our eldest daughter Varya went to school, I made a terrible mistake, which I am still correcting. I told her that I was an excellent student and expected the same from her.” We advise everyone to think about it!





Evaluations of the child at the school "Varya studied well, reported on her successes, we all rejoiced at her fives, were proud ..." I didn't even check her notebooks, let alone look into her electronic diary. But one day I took some of her notebook, flipped through and saw a pencil-painted triplet.





"Varya, what is this?" - I strictly asked. My daughter cried and confessed that she was afraid that I would find out and scold her. A four, but a three! “You said I should be an excellent student!”





My daughter was afraid to tell me she didn't do well in school, you know? I built this wall of fear and distrust between us. And what would this ultimately lead to, I do not dare even imagine if I did not flip through that unfortunate notebook. Honestly, at that moment I was confused and didn’t know what to do. I just hugged her, told her I loved her, and asked me never to lie again. Don't be afraid. She went to another room to think. And cry.





That’s how this woman almost created a barrier between herself and her daughter, but in time she realized it. When we demand something from a child, we need to understand: does he or a parent need it? And each of us understands that it is not the notes in the diary that are important, but the knowledge. But for some reason we begin to demand, scold, prohibit. And this, in turn, disrupts the child’s psyche and kills the trust between you.





Famous family psychologist Mikhail Labkovsky at his seminars strongly advises parents not to even touch on the topic of school. The way a child learns is his own business. It's better to talk to him about life instead of getting a C in math or literature. It is important that the child himself realizes that he is interested, and moves in this direction. I did not read War and Peace again instead of doing experiments on my favorite physics.





And the worst thing when parents were once excellent students, but did not take place in life. Unable to find their place and work in an unloved job, do not visit places that they would like, shop when possible, not at will. And the children are forced to study well to achieve something. They just contradict themselves, because for children, parental example is important, not just stories and demands.





I mean, look at your life. Are they just those who were high schoolAre you in a good position in life? I am sure that among them there are those who have been drinking or working from morning to night to have enough for simple needs.

And among the students there are probably outstanding athletes, businessmen, politicians, models, artists. But there are cases when children, fearing that a despotic parent learns about the three or that they did not enter the institute, committed suicide.





If your child will worry before each test, and before the announcement of the results just shake, then by the prom he will already have a shattered psyche. Faced with further life difficulties, he will simply turn into a neurotic. It is one thing when a child is easily given any science and he learns at his pleasure, and another when it is simply demanded of him, and even deducted for any blunder.





Do not destroy the person in your child and do not create fear in him since childhood. Be a close friend, not just a parent who feeds, clothes, and saws forever. If you improve his talents, he will certainly become a successful person in the future, he will not be afraid to get three out of life, but will confidently follow his dream.

“But most importantly, I learned that you can’t blame grades. You need to love, help, support, believe in a child, in anyone. And to make him believe in us, in mom and dad. Not afraid.

Tell us in the comments whether you agree that a child should not be required to be an excellent student in school. Share a useful article with your friends on social networks!

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