How to stop joking at the jelly Bashny.Net

As a child, I always thought that adults were extremely wise, knew everything and never made mistakes. I believed that until I grew up. And then one day you realize that there are no adults around you. adulthood. We grew up, put on different clothes, but inside we remained the same, small children, demanding attention and approval.



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Today's edition. "Site" I suggest you talk about adulthood, about why people in their 40s can’t grow up, and how to do it, and, in general, is it necessary?

How to become an adult Who is an adult? What determines that? You graduated from high school, you were given a certificate, and before that you were given a passport. You have a lot of paperwork that gives you a lot of commitment, but none of it gives you a sense of maturity. They do not start in the head of a young citizen the necessary psychological processes.

In the end, we are the same boys and girls with new papers but old expectations and claims. As children, we seek approval from adults. "Mom, do you like my drawing? Dad, look what I can do.” And parents, by their disapproval or praise, regulate our behavior. We are adults and nothing has changed.





DepositPhotos And we see a man or woman in their 40s looking for "adult" approval. They do everything to get praise, which is much more important than objective achievements. The man simply forgot to tell that he is an adult, he can do anything and that now he is responsible for everything himself. And there are a lot of people who just haven’t matured, they just pretend to be adults.

Are they guilty? Of course not. The adult tumbler didn't switch, that's all. But is everyone responsible for this? Yes, he does, everyone has to gather their will in their fist and move this switch from the dead end.



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How do you recognize a human child? People who are children in their 40s often complain that life is unfair to them, that they are not guilty. In the head of a person there was a clear idea that everyone owed him something, that he received something short. This creates more and more outrage.

I have a friend who has not been very successful in life. And so she decided that all her problems because her parents did not like her as a child. Although she grew up in a full family with a very caring mother, it is not for me to judge.

It seemed that the purpose of a person’s whole life was to prove to everyone that she was disliked more than everyone else. In her speeches, she said, “I’m a poor little bunny.” I was disliked as a child, so I am unhappy and can achieve nothing in life.”





And such “disliked bunnies” are drawn to people, looking for praise, approval to get everything they were supposed to. And here is the most interesting thing, there is bad news for such people: there is no way to get what is lost then. Perhaps it is bitter to realize, but childhood is over, adult, real life has come.

And you, oddly enough, have a choice. Option one: you can accept reality, realize all the injustice and finally come to terms with it. To understand that everyone received in childhood the set of buns that he received, nothing else will change. And after all these discoveries, switch the tumbler, take responsibility and start living your own life.



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Option two: you can say that the author is wrong, understand nothing and continue your search for all the lost love and care. You will be sure of your rightness, depend on others, seek approval and change jobs, partners, cities, proving that you are the most disliked person in the world.

It is not easy to choose the first option. There is no one to decide for you, everything is on your shoulders. But that’s the beauty, because you decide, you are the author of your life. You do not need to prove to anyone that you are pretty and feminine enough or moderately courageous and strong. You just do it and you get the results. That’s when that awareness comes, growing up happens.



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Not everyone manages to achieve this on their own, then psychotherapy comes to the rescue. Yes, in our spaces it is not fashionable, and somewhere even reprehensible, but extremely effective. Thanks to therapy, it is possible to put everything in its place and start living your life. The therapist helps to find the cause of the problem, missed stages of growing up and lets you know that you are no longer a “disliked little bunny”, but an adult independent person.



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This can be done on your own, if you can analyze what is happening and yourself in particular. We give up illusions and accept the world as it is, that’s all. I am not saying that the inner child is a bad thing. Of course, no, that’s what makes us less callous and doesn’t make us too rough. You just need to understand when there is a playful child in you who sometimes asks to come out, and when the child is you.

Many people believe that all of our problems from childhood, and even how we choose a man depends on our relationship with our mother. And this is not far from the truth, you just need to learn to understand, accept and cope with it. Good luck!

What do you think about that? Tell me in the comments!