How to build a relationship with your husband’s ex-wife Bashny.Net

Finding one’s own or one’s own, living with this person for the rest of their lives, raising children, supporting and pleasing each other is a dream, an ideal to which everyone aspires. But not everyone is able to come to him immediately.

Life is complicated and unpredictable. It happens that marriages break up, and then people start a family again with someone else. It would be fine if there were no children left from previous marriages.

Contacting children from past marriages, a person in any case maintains contact with the former spouse or spouse. It is not always easy for his current partner to accept such communication.





Here is what 32-year-old Ekaterina says: My husband and I have been together for seven years, there is a common child, but the spouse has a past: ex-wife and son. And as soon as these two are on the horizon, I literally get hysterical. I can't control myself at all. How do you stop worrying about them? ?

Psychologists recommend in such situations, first of all, to establish the framework of communication, and then to understand the nature of the feelings that have arisen. How do you frame it?



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Communication between the husband and his ex-wife is permissible in the following cases:

Framework of communication with former

1. The ex-wife can come for money: alimony or material assistance.
2. The husband can help her solve some economic issues that affect the well-being of his child.
3. The spouse can also see the ex-spouse when he takes the child with him, on his birthday, during his school holidays and for any reason related to the child.

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If a husband meets and communicates with his ex-wife as a friend to drink coffee, talk about personal things, console her or console herself, and you do not like it, you can talk to him about it frankly.

Contacts between a husband and his ex-wife should be systemic, not spontaneous. Otherwise, they will constantly violate family plans. A new wife needs to talk to her husband about the time and resources he is going to spend on his past. With this in mind, to build the present and get along without feeling injustice and ordinary.





How to deal with the feelings that arise when meeting with the ex-wife of the husband? We need to study their nature. Most likely, it is not the ex-wife’s fault, but the woman herself. Or rather, her inner child, a girl who was burned in the past and did not survive her pain.





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1. Hatred always hides deeper feelings. Hate can hide feelings that are not directly related to your partner’s ex-wife. Maybe it’s an echo of a personal story. It may be the fear that the husband will return to the first family. It is caused by self-doubt and disharmony in relationships. First of all, you need to work on yourself and the atmosphere in your home. 356182
   
   
   
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2. Maybe you're possessive. And you think your ex-wife is taking your husband away. If they only talk about topics related to the child, this is not the case. And with the child to communicate with the husband is also forbidden.
   
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3. Maybe it's jealousy. Jealousy of the past is stupid. If your husband chose you at this point in his life and lives with you, then there is nothing to worry about.
4. Fear of repeating the script. You may be afraid that your husband will leave you the same way your ex left you. And try on a role. "future ex-wife". Indeed, people don’t always change, and the husband may not have changed after the divorce. But you are not an ex, you are completely different from the person with whom your spouse lived before. And maybe he'll get along with you. You have to believe.
   
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When the family is cozy, comfortable and harmonious, the appearance of uninvited guests from the past can be annoying, but can not lead to hysteria. If you do not, work on the relationship with your husband, and do not delve into his past and ended.

On how to solve problems of family relations and harmonize them, read in our next articles. Follow the links.