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How to live with a half-boyfriend and whether it is worth leaving such a relationship
When two adults, normal people meet, find common interests, meet for a while and start living together, it’s wonderful. But to develop such a union takes time and some return. The concept of the relationship between different couples may differ, but, in general, we can say that everything should be fair.
If someone brings negativity or is simply not ready for something serious, well, there are several options. Patience, pause or break up with this person. In fact, everything else is already details. Or not?
Hello, my name is Dasha and I think I’m in a toxic relationship. In a nutshell, my boyfriend is halfway. That is, he demands that we pay for everything equally out of our own pockets.
We do not have a stable overall budget. When it comes time to pay for the rent of an apartment and a communal apartment - we discount equally. I just want to say that I earn a lot less than him. He's a programmer and doesn't need much money. But he wants me to feel like an unhumiliated person and be on an equal footing with him in everything.
Overall, Dima's not a bad guy. He helped me a lot in the beginning of our relationship. He paid me for courses that gave me the opportunity to find a permanent job, though not very high-paying. I know his parents very well, they are good people. They love me and always try to support me.
But lately, I've been struggling. The question of food is quite simple: everyone pays for himself. But Dima has long had problems with the gastrointestinal tract, and he buys himself only dietary products. In fact, he spends even less than me. I like it to be simple: potatoes, meat, milk and so on. I don't like pizza, but I cook well.
Same thing about leisure. There was even a case when a very good (my favorite) theater troupe with tours came to our city, and I had to save up for a ticket for a very long time, although my young man could easily buy the best tickets. But he didn't do it in principle.
The same can be said for gifts. Dima likes to give, but also likes to take. It's a good thing we don't celebrate everything, otherwise I'd have to take out loans.
Naturally, I try to save money just in case. And until recently, my boyfriend had no idea. And as I learned, I made a scandal: they say, I, it turns out, conceal funds from him, they say, this is not the case in the family. I don't think that's right, because the fact that I know everything about his finances doesn't help. I'm not even interested.
I love him and I want to be with him. He's smart, he has a good sense of humor. He is generous when it comes to important things like health or parents. But this money situation makes me stupor. We recently talked about pregnancy and pregnancy. Dima suggested to start looking for work at home, because maternity money and payments for nothing will not be enough for things for the child. I think I'm going to go crazy. Tell me what to do, what to do? I really want everything to be normal.
Dear Dasha. We understand your problem and advise you to think carefully. Perhaps your companion is just trying to suppress you as a person and make him the head of the house, even though you pay half. After all, in a normal situation, the halves should help each other, and not build various obstacles on the way to happiness.
If someone brings negativity or is simply not ready for something serious, well, there are several options. Patience, pause or break up with this person. In fact, everything else is already details. Or not?
Hello, my name is Dasha and I think I’m in a toxic relationship. In a nutshell, my boyfriend is halfway. That is, he demands that we pay for everything equally out of our own pockets.
We do not have a stable overall budget. When it comes time to pay for the rent of an apartment and a communal apartment - we discount equally. I just want to say that I earn a lot less than him. He's a programmer and doesn't need much money. But he wants me to feel like an unhumiliated person and be on an equal footing with him in everything.
Overall, Dima's not a bad guy. He helped me a lot in the beginning of our relationship. He paid me for courses that gave me the opportunity to find a permanent job, though not very high-paying. I know his parents very well, they are good people. They love me and always try to support me.
But lately, I've been struggling. The question of food is quite simple: everyone pays for himself. But Dima has long had problems with the gastrointestinal tract, and he buys himself only dietary products. In fact, he spends even less than me. I like it to be simple: potatoes, meat, milk and so on. I don't like pizza, but I cook well.
Same thing about leisure. There was even a case when a very good (my favorite) theater troupe with tours came to our city, and I had to save up for a ticket for a very long time, although my young man could easily buy the best tickets. But he didn't do it in principle.
The same can be said for gifts. Dima likes to give, but also likes to take. It's a good thing we don't celebrate everything, otherwise I'd have to take out loans.
Naturally, I try to save money just in case. And until recently, my boyfriend had no idea. And as I learned, I made a scandal: they say, I, it turns out, conceal funds from him, they say, this is not the case in the family. I don't think that's right, because the fact that I know everything about his finances doesn't help. I'm not even interested.
I love him and I want to be with him. He's smart, he has a good sense of humor. He is generous when it comes to important things like health or parents. But this money situation makes me stupor. We recently talked about pregnancy and pregnancy. Dima suggested to start looking for work at home, because maternity money and payments for nothing will not be enough for things for the child. I think I'm going to go crazy. Tell me what to do, what to do? I really want everything to be normal.
Dear Dasha. We understand your problem and advise you to think carefully. Perhaps your companion is just trying to suppress you as a person and make him the head of the house, even though you pay half. After all, in a normal situation, the halves should help each other, and not build various obstacles on the way to happiness.
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