Why no one goes from hell to heaven after a divorce and finds a better partner

Many married couples who have been married for more than 5 years like to say that love lives three years. The candy and bouquet period passes, life and family responsibilities remain. Slowly the passion fades, and boredom remains. Those who over the years manage to become friends in life and keep the former romance of relationships, units. This is true love. But instead, modern couples feel that it is better to divorce than to pull the same strap, and people after a divorce hope to find their fate. But it turns out the opposite. The editors decided to find out why this is happening.



Longing for new feelings, tired of the family routine of divorcees trying to escape from a dull life with a bored spouse. Over the years of marriage, people accumulate grievances, claims, and then it seems that something went wrong. Maybe they were wrong, maybe they chose the wrong person.



The longer people live together, the more they are not happy with marriage. And instead of trying to bring the relationship back to life, it’s easier to get divorced and find another person. Everyone wants ease, tenderness, understanding. This is what the relationship looks like at the beginning. And yes, after a divorce, any new person will seem sweet and empathetic, as if this is the person you've been waiting for all your hard life. But it will take another 5 years and everything is wrong again.



In fact, psychologists have long proved that, no matter how many partners a person has, he tends to choose a pair of a certain type. So, there was not enough attention from her husband and the wife decided to divorce. And then the endless choice of candidates for a happy future. The woman is looking for the one. There are two options: either all the wrong ones meet, and the former husband is resurrected in memory as the best of those who were, or immediately comes across the love of her life, the absolute opposite of the former spouse.



When people break up, they want one thing: to find a replacement. And surely the new chosen one will be the ideal, the limit of all dreams. And when the ideal is found, everything will definitely go as usual. But all people are different. The psychological attitudes are the same. No matter how ideal the new chosen one is, undeveloped complexes, childhood resentments and psychological traumas remain with us. It is important not to burn all the bridges.



You can call it luck, whatever you want. But some couples fall in love with lightning speed and live a soul in the soul all their lives, while others are constantly looking for an ephemeral ideal. But it is important to find harmony with oneself and ask oneself why the current relationship is not developing. What exactly doesn't suit you about them? Can anything be changed?



To come to these simple questions, some require the help of psychologists, and someone finds the strength to understand everything on their own. Be reasonable. Before you make the big decision to derail a ten-year marriage or condemn your kids to see their second parent on weekends, consider whether it’s worth it.



Maybe you can find a common language with a native person, openly talk about what does not suit you in a relationship. It is heart-to-heart conversations, openness and the desire to establish communication that can strengthen marriage for many years and bring people together even more. What do you think about that?