Husband laughs that I gained too much, but the willpower to correct the situation is not left

Can a walking husband change his behavior if he tries hard enough and what are the chances of turning a toxic relationship into the right one? Let’s look at the situation on the example of our reader Lyudmila, who shared her personal story of cohabitation with such a man, and try to understand this issue together.

Last Sunday Luda spent cleaning, cooking and other household chores. Like every previous Sunday for 8 years. From the former romance, which arranged for her on weekends, Vanya's husband, has long left no trace. The only memories that brightened up her loneliness during the next wash.



“It used to be different ... He used to love me, Lyudmila sighed, squatting for a minute at the kitchen window to rest a little. “I was different,” suddenly flashed in her mind. “Both slim and elegant, always with a cheerful smile. Now what? I am full, I do not follow the appearance, especially fashion. Right Vanya says, completely launched herself mother ... — and then and then returned to his self-flagellation Luda.



And while our heroine blamed herself for all the problems that arose in her relationship with her husband, Ivan had fun with one of his new passions. The fact that her husband had connections on the side for several years in a row, Lyudmila knew. And strangely enough, I thought it was my fault.



She certainly tried to change everything. For example, two weeks ago I decided to take up my image to regain the interest of my husband. She bought bright red lipstick, lace peñoir and gave half of her salary to stylish styling. I was looking forward to my husband’s surprise.



I just didn’t appreciate the surprise. Only laughed, sarcastically noticing that his wife was not in those years to wear such bright makeup. And when Luda asked what he thought about her outfit, only with irritation he answered that he was hungry and he did not care now about her "babish stupidities."



So our heroine was born another complex. If before she thought that she could fix everything, now she understood that her time had passed and she would just have to come to terms with the current state of affairs.

74219.

“Why not just walk away from the scoundrel?” you might ask. Well, actually, it's always harder to leave than in words. Luda herself did not understand what was holding her. Whether it is love, or habit, or fear of change. “Here he is, her Vanechka is so kind, so good. Where is she without him?

Fear of change is the most common reason people continue to boil in a cauldron of toxic relationships. And it's not weird. After a few years of living together, you become so attached to a person that he almost becomes a part of you. You see in him your traits, your habits and you don’t want to lose someone so close. Because you don't really have to break up with him, but with yourself. It’s always hard to leave your happy memories behind.

But when the moment comes to realize that a relationship with a person brings you only pain, you should still decide to take this step. Some say that love is when you fight to the end. But no one is saying what the end is. End of life? As in that oath: "In joy and in sorrow, until death do you part?" Personally, I never liked that wording. I believe that if one partner becomes a cause of grief, the other does not have to pull this strap to the victory. What do you think about that?