Why Parents Refuse to Help Adult Children Even When They Have The Money

Loving moms and dads try to put in the child the best that they have. And while the child is small, even rich They are forced to deny themselves much, as long as their child is good. When the son or daughter finally grows up, the parents with a clear conscience send the child to free swimming and finally can live for themselves. But is it working?

Today, the editors want to share a story about how the relationship between parents and the only son’s family is collapsing due to material differences. Do parents really need to help an adult child?



Wealthy parents "My Andrey's parents are wealthy people." I come from a more modest family. Of course, when we dated and then decided to get married, it didn't make any difference. We planned to rely only on our own strength. But, of course, we would never refuse the help of close people, says Alla.



“My husband and I have long dreamed of owning a home. Tired of moving from one apartment to another. But his parents preferred not to notice. They have money, though. And if they wanted, they could help us. But they probably never had that desire.”

“My mother and father live in another city, their financial resources are limited. My husband and I live in the same city. After the wedding, we didn’t live under the same roof because we wanted to be independent. We rented housing, worked without vacation, did not even go to rest, because we saved every penny. They saw all this, but they were in no hurry to intervene.”



“We visited them once. When my mother-in-law asked me again when we would make her a grandmother, I decided to give a clear hint. She said that we will deal with this “issue” as soon as we get our own housing. And now we lack of even for the down payment. But in response, she sympathetically shook her head.

When I found out after a couple of months that I was really expecting a baby, I became more determined. We were pleased with the news of my husband’s parents. They were so excited to be grandparents soon. I dared to ask if they could help us at least with the first payment for the apartment.

“In-law even changed face. With a detached look, she squeezed out of herself that they did not have such money and now they can not help us. They're lying! The father-in-law recently told her husband that he was going to buy a new car. Is there money for the car, but not for the son and grandson?



“Then I pretended that everything was fine, even though this refusal hurt me very much. I had already said goodbye to the dream of raising a child in my own apartment. But help, as they say, came from where they did not expect.

“When we came to visit my parents and reported the news of the replenishment, my mother was determined. He and Dad had planned everything in advance. They decided to sell their apartment to help us with money. They moved to Grandma’s house outside the city. They convinced me that they would be even better there than in the district center.”

“A month later, they did so. Andrey and I, having received money for a down payment (and even a little more), soon got our own cozy apartment.



How to deal with this attitude: Now we are happy and confident looking to the future. The only thing that bothers me is the attitude of his parents. I am against these people messing with my child. They put the purchase of a car ahead of the well-being of their grandson.”

The other day I have a baby, but my father-in-law and mother-in-law have never called me in these 9 months. They didn't ask me how I felt. They seem to be very busy with their lives. And that only strengthens my opinion that grandparent “We don’t need it,” Alla said.



Exactly. fiscal This causes misunderstandings in many families. And if in developed countries, a young person often earns and supports himself after graduation (he has all the opportunities there), then it is difficult to do without the help of parents.

But are the parents of an adult obliged to provide for him for the rest of his life? Do they not have the right to buy the same car or go on a long journey? Didn't they deserve it?