The Confession of a Bad Grandmother Who Doesn't Want to Leave for Her Little Grandchildren

Care for grandchildren Should it be a burden to your grandmother or vice versa? What if my grandmother is still young and has plans? Is it really necessary to give up everything and devote yourself completely to a small, always crying child?



Our reader is perplexed. Her adult children decided to “push” her grandson, although she is not happy about it. No, babysitting a small one a couple of times a week or a month is still going anywhere, but kids are demanding more free time. What do we do now?

Take care of your grandchildren. My name is Anastasia, 63. I'm not married, officially retired, but I'm still working. Our firm is quite small, so the accountant I am is not overworked. And since I was transferred to the “remote”, there are no complaints about the work at all.



Don’t think, I, although a woman of age, but perfectly own a PC, do not sit on a bench before the entrance and do not have the habit of driving a light or dawn in public transport for cheap salt. Thank goodness you have enough money to save for a rainy day.

So, my only son became a father, and I was supposed to be a grandmother. Oh, what a joy! They named their grandson Andreika, Andrei Anatolyevich. Sounds good, solid. After a couple of weeks, I came to visit them, brought gifts to my grandson, and bought a nice thin TV with a decent diagonal. In short, the gestalt is closed, now it is definitely a full family.



With such thoughts, I continued to work quietly, walk (I know, pandemic, but I like to walk around the city at night, as in my youth) and do my usual business. Until one day my son came with a huge bouquet of flowers and a pack of my favorite chocolates.

It turns out that not everything goes smoothly with their grandson. He, as the head of the family, works tirelessly, which, of course, is commendable. But there were problems with Katyna. Not with her, but with her. The fact is that her profession does not tolerate long breaks and needs to constantly update knowledge and all the subtleties of work. In short, extending the decree is not an option.



Naturally, the child has no one to leave, and there is not enough money for a full-day nanny. At all. You understand: wheelchairs, clothes, mixtures and everything else. What kind of nanny is this? Which option is left? That's right, beloved grandmother. She'll babysit her grandson, and the mixture will warm up and put her to sleep. Stuff.



That’s just my grandmother did not subscribe to this and completely disagree with this role. First of all, I have a job that I'm not going to give up. If they keep me there, then I know something. Second, I'm just a little over 60. Maybe I want to find a man, by the way. And this work is not easy and requires time and attention. And thirdly, I love Andrew very much, but I will tell you from the bottom of my heart: I am tired of these diapers. I'm just tired and I don't want to.

The daughter-in-law's parents live in another city, far away. It will not be possible to send a grandson to them. I understand that. In the garden take at least 1.5 years, that is, a year I will have to sit, courting my grandson. I'm sure I'll turn into an old fuck with no ambition or hope of finding happiness. Naturally, I refused.



Ten days later, the whole family came to me. Not even a call. Well, I met, ordered food with quick delivery, and I was not even allowed to catch my breath, set the following conditions: if I do not take my grandson, they will have to move from their rented apartment to mine. I've got two! There will be no need to babysit with your grandson, they will give money for renting an apartment to a familiar nanny. It's an ultimatum.



What do I do now? There's not a lot of options. Either I leave work, or my daughter-in-law (which is definitely not an option), or they move in with me as a family, purely out of harm, you know.

And here I have 2 thoughts on this: somehow before there was much less convenience, and nothing, raised not one child, but much more. Why has everything changed so much now? And I talked to my friend. She had a similar situation and succumbed: quit her job to nurture her granddaughter. So then she was not taken back to work, and the children did not need her: the granddaughter was given to the garden, and they continued to live as they lived. No thanks.



Maybe you can give me some good advice, because I have a dead end. I hope to find some reasonable suggestion among the comments to do this. I never thought I would refuse to help my son. As they say, man assumes and God disposes.