A proven way to ruin the lives of yourself and your loved

Today I will talk about the reason, can ruin the most tender and sincere relationship.

The fact that we often have a huge amount of unrealistic expectations in relation to your loved one. Expectations are our hopes and theories on how the events should develop and behave around.


As unreasonable expectations ruin relationshipsIn relationships, we have a plan — what they SHOULD be: how to behave as a partner, what SHOULD and SHOULD NOT do or how to react when it SHOULD happen certain events. We think that these views favorite parts and everything will be as we have sketched in my head.

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Often do not take into account that the favorite view may differ from ours. WE EXPECT that the partner will behave in a certain way, and when that happens — angry and disappointed.

Unreasonable expectations turn into grievances and complaints. Quarrels on trifles. Favorite does not understand what he had done, and we are the cause of discontent, not dirty dishes, and undue expectations.


What to do?

1. Remember, better write down the axiom:

Loved one is not obliged to meet your expectations.

Yes, that's right. You have expectations doesn't mean that others will comply with them. Therefore, we repeat once more!

Loved one is not obliged to meet your expectations.

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2. If you want to bring a loved one drawn in my head of the ideal - do the following:

— Admit that you have unreasonable expectations to your partner (out loud, in front of a mirror).

— Take a piece of paper and write down all what you expect from a partner and from your relationship.

Be as specific as possible.

  • Want to wash the dishes - write when, what, in some cases, than it is necessary to wash and then where to put it.
  • Want to earn more – write how long, at what time, when to start etc.

Think - what are your expectations real and what's not.

IMPORTANTLY :People specific, can't read minds, so state clearly.

— A loved one does not know and about half of your expectations. So, gently share it with the list.

IMPORTANTLY :Even if you make out a complete list of expectations and will force your partner to learn it - it will still only your expectations. It's silly to force people to comply with them. Yes, and the list may cause controversy.

Therefore, I propose to accompany the demonstration list the following words:

"Honey, I understand why I'm mad at you for no particular reason. I, like any human, there are expectations about you and about our relations. Here they are, I've a list of them. I understand that my expectations — my expectations and can't force you to meet them, but something, nevertheless, want to change ...(tell me what particularly infuriates and ask not to do)".

— Ask your sweetheart in oral or written form to present a list of his expectations towards you. I'm sure he has too.

— Discuss your lists and decide what to do with them that may change now, and that takes time. Take time to discuss their expectations. You will save a lot of time, nerves and will avoid a huge number of quarrels and disappointments.published 


Author: Tamar Bakradze

P. S. And remember, only by changing their consumption — together we change the world! ©

Source: www.b17.ru/article/7361/


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