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Women who are catching up
About women who "catch", suffer or "love too much" — those who do not know how to enjoy the relationship and become dependent on men. Who is this woman who "pulls" on a relationship when they for different reasons are not satisfied, and from which the man still running — before or after sex ?
Because without these women who are "catching up" men and search endlessly for an explanation of their behavior, without women who are willing to "work" on relationships, even when the man they almost or quite is not involved... No such women "running" the man stopped to escape, would not cause so much interest and would not attract so much attention! No women like men might be more likely to "ripen" and be ready for a direct, open relationship in which it participates, and does not play "cat and mouse", being supported by the codependent woman.
Offer you some the mosaic of the mechanisms and targets described in the literature and supplemented by some examples from my psychotherapy practice and from personal observation.
Satisfied your needs? Or "woman who loves too much"is Usually a woman invests in a relationship more than a partner. And in most cases she doesn't even notice. In therapy she talks about him a large part of the session, she continues to spend his time and money on it... and here Talks about his life, his close people, Hobbies, needs... To the question about their needs will be difficult to answer, or the answer will be uncertain or inadequate to the situation, for example — to get married (for a guy who is in no hurry for her to even call and suggest meeting!).
In a healthy relationship, if your needs are not being met, it is necessary to agree on acceptable conditions. If you agree on such conditions, the relationship should stop and build them with the man who will take your interests into account. What to do if you need hard to find?
A vague or clear sense of dissatisfaction may be an indicator that your wishes are ignored. And if a woman will ignore her needs, she'll become dependent on men, and the relationship will turn into a codependent, painful, pathological devastating for her and perhaps for two.
A woman with low self-esteem. Or is it you are not too much interestedSome time ago in my practice was a client in love with a man from another city. He called her very rarely, mostly wrote, and they met much less, always in his hotel room (he never came to her on business trips). To please "their" man girl worked in Italian kitchen, while at one of the sessions reported that she did not cook, except fried eggs – because of this she has no time she works a lot. The story of this client is a good illustration of a woman with low self-esteem and the provision that assigns itself a woman close with your partner.
In one of the books on the problem of suffering in relationships women are some obvious signs of catastrophically low self-esteem. A woman can be in a relationship with a man who: doesn't invite her on a date/ I'm not sure that he wants to date her openly/ may abuse alcohol or drugs so that it makes her uncomfortable/ does not build with her plans for the future/ married to the other or the other is sleeping with/ not sleeping with her, and gives her feel desirable/ possible and at least once he has already rejected/dumped and so on... (add a list of their values and needs, they are ignored!).
Any woman worthy of a relationship in which to feel welcome, happy and satisfied. And the man who doesn't make her actions - just not too interested in it: in it, in relationships, in General or at the moment is not so important. It is important that not valid, was not pleased. (By the way, the girl who cooked the eggs themselves, considered proof of his feelings bought her on her arrival at the hotel a toothbrush!).
A woman with low self-esteem is extremely difficult to realize that:
1) buying a toothbrush is not an act,
2) man does nothing because he doesn't want.
And the reasons for this misunderstanding can be many: perhaps the model of such relations and their "normal" girl had learned at home; maybe the script of her relations is repeated from time to time, and in the reality of something else she no longer believes, most likely she is tired from loneliness, bOtsato stay without a man.... and exactly she evaluates his choice not his attitude, not by his actions, and the set of skills she had learned!
Childhood traumasFor those who want to get the answer to the question "why am I" only in the most General form will indicate possible mechanisms. The scope of this article does not include a deep analysis of the children's traumatic experiences – working (and long enough) with the dependent or co-dependent client is possible and desirable in psychotherapy. The girl that maintains a codependent relationship could be dependent for (drinking) or authoritarian providing emotional abuse, father. Need a girl — warmth, care, support, approval could not be met by the parents –and it could be internalized it as the norm. Low self-esteem could be formed as a result of the large number of critics in the family, as my father's side and mother's side. Father a girl could have love Affairs with other women other than his wife.And in the experience of girls (even if she didn't know about the affair for sure, and just felt the suffering of the mother), is the idea of "normality" of infidelity and strong negative emotions in the relationship. And on a conscious level – adult — female can reject the acceptability of male infidelity, but the subconscious is to choose someone who is able to bring hurt feelings. Because it will remind her dad.
Lucky womanto Recognize and openly present their needs, realizing that the desire to build relationships that satisfy – this is normal.
Understand that if your partner does not take into account your interests, and his behavior causes a feeling of dissatisfaction –that means he's not too interested in you.
As soon as it becomes clear that the relationship is not working the way you like it, don't fool yourself and don't waste time.
If you repeat again and again the same scenario that you do not like – should go to a therapist and to work to ensure that partner selection was not dictated by the traumas of childhood, not of unconscious mental mechanisms, and perceived needs. published
Author: Muse Horse
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: psypublic.com/articles/101/
Because without these women who are "catching up" men and search endlessly for an explanation of their behavior, without women who are willing to "work" on relationships, even when the man they almost or quite is not involved... No such women "running" the man stopped to escape, would not cause so much interest and would not attract so much attention! No women like men might be more likely to "ripen" and be ready for a direct, open relationship in which it participates, and does not play "cat and mouse", being supported by the codependent woman.
Offer you some the mosaic of the mechanisms and targets described in the literature and supplemented by some examples from my psychotherapy practice and from personal observation.
Satisfied your needs? Or "woman who loves too much"is Usually a woman invests in a relationship more than a partner. And in most cases she doesn't even notice. In therapy she talks about him a large part of the session, she continues to spend his time and money on it... and here Talks about his life, his close people, Hobbies, needs... To the question about their needs will be difficult to answer, or the answer will be uncertain or inadequate to the situation, for example — to get married (for a guy who is in no hurry for her to even call and suggest meeting!).
In a healthy relationship, if your needs are not being met, it is necessary to agree on acceptable conditions. If you agree on such conditions, the relationship should stop and build them with the man who will take your interests into account. What to do if you need hard to find?
A vague or clear sense of dissatisfaction may be an indicator that your wishes are ignored. And if a woman will ignore her needs, she'll become dependent on men, and the relationship will turn into a codependent, painful, pathological devastating for her and perhaps for two.
A woman with low self-esteem. Or is it you are not too much interestedSome time ago in my practice was a client in love with a man from another city. He called her very rarely, mostly wrote, and they met much less, always in his hotel room (he never came to her on business trips). To please "their" man girl worked in Italian kitchen, while at one of the sessions reported that she did not cook, except fried eggs – because of this she has no time she works a lot. The story of this client is a good illustration of a woman with low self-esteem and the provision that assigns itself a woman close with your partner.
In one of the books on the problem of suffering in relationships women are some obvious signs of catastrophically low self-esteem. A woman can be in a relationship with a man who: doesn't invite her on a date/ I'm not sure that he wants to date her openly/ may abuse alcohol or drugs so that it makes her uncomfortable/ does not build with her plans for the future/ married to the other or the other is sleeping with/ not sleeping with her, and gives her feel desirable/ possible and at least once he has already rejected/dumped and so on... (add a list of their values and needs, they are ignored!).
Any woman worthy of a relationship in which to feel welcome, happy and satisfied. And the man who doesn't make her actions - just not too interested in it: in it, in relationships, in General or at the moment is not so important. It is important that not valid, was not pleased. (By the way, the girl who cooked the eggs themselves, considered proof of his feelings bought her on her arrival at the hotel a toothbrush!).
A woman with low self-esteem is extremely difficult to realize that:
1) buying a toothbrush is not an act,
2) man does nothing because he doesn't want.
And the reasons for this misunderstanding can be many: perhaps the model of such relations and their "normal" girl had learned at home; maybe the script of her relations is repeated from time to time, and in the reality of something else she no longer believes, most likely she is tired from loneliness, bOtsato stay without a man.... and exactly she evaluates his choice not his attitude, not by his actions, and the set of skills she had learned!
Childhood traumasFor those who want to get the answer to the question "why am I" only in the most General form will indicate possible mechanisms. The scope of this article does not include a deep analysis of the children's traumatic experiences – working (and long enough) with the dependent or co-dependent client is possible and desirable in psychotherapy. The girl that maintains a codependent relationship could be dependent for (drinking) or authoritarian providing emotional abuse, father. Need a girl — warmth, care, support, approval could not be met by the parents –and it could be internalized it as the norm. Low self-esteem could be formed as a result of the large number of critics in the family, as my father's side and mother's side. Father a girl could have love Affairs with other women other than his wife.And in the experience of girls (even if she didn't know about the affair for sure, and just felt the suffering of the mother), is the idea of "normality" of infidelity and strong negative emotions in the relationship. And on a conscious level – adult — female can reject the acceptability of male infidelity, but the subconscious is to choose someone who is able to bring hurt feelings. Because it will remind her dad.
Lucky womanto Recognize and openly present their needs, realizing that the desire to build relationships that satisfy – this is normal.
Understand that if your partner does not take into account your interests, and his behavior causes a feeling of dissatisfaction –that means he's not too interested in you.
As soon as it becomes clear that the relationship is not working the way you like it, don't fool yourself and don't waste time.
If you repeat again and again the same scenario that you do not like – should go to a therapist and to work to ensure that partner selection was not dictated by the traumas of childhood, not of unconscious mental mechanisms, and perceived needs. published
Author: Muse Horse
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©
Source: psypublic.com/articles/101/
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