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For a happy marriage many men do not have only one quality
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Two million seven hundred fifty seven thousand five hundred forty
No matter how clever and strong the man next to the woman, she always wants to be understood and accepted. After all, the man who's coming towards you, it is easier to build a harmonious and happy relationship.
Site withРsychologies decided to find out why some couples are able to find compromises, while others fight over every little thing.
Seventy million five hundred sixty five thousand six hundred twenty four
A group of scientists from the University of Washington under the direction of John Gottman conducted a long-term study of family relations on the example of the 130 pairs. They watched them for 6 years from the date of the wedding. Conclusion: couples in which the husbands go to meet his wife, stronger.
Imagine a married couple: Lauren and Stephen. In the words of Stephen agree that equality is essential for a happy and long marriage, but his actions show otherwise.
Stephen: My friends and I are going fishing. We leave tonight.
Lauren: But tomorrow come to me friend. You promised to help with the cleaning. Have you forgotten? You can't leave tomorrow morning?
Stephen: You forgot about fishing! I can't leave tomorrow. We leave in a few hours.
Lauren is angry. She calls Steven's selfish and storming out of the room. Stephen feels depressed, he pours whiskey and includes football. Lauren returns to talk to, but Steven ignores her. Lauren begins to cry. Steven says he needs in the garage, and leaves. Such quarrels are overcrowded mutual accusations, it is difficult to find the root cause. But one thing is clear: Steven doesn't want to make concessions.
Eight million three hundred seventy four thousand four hundred seventy six
Fifty nine million three hundred fifty five thousand one hundred seventy four
In marriage complaints, outbursts of anger, mutual criticism. But if the spouses do not attempt to resolve the conflict, but only inflame it, responding to each other, negative to negative, the marriage is threatened. John Gottman emphasizes that 65% of men will only aggravate the conflict during an argument.
Steven says that he does not hear claims Lauren. Instead he takes a defensive position and makes the response claims: how could she forget about his plans? Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, disregard — signs that a husband does not want to make concessions.
Of course, that the marriage was happy, both people need to work on relationships. But most of the wives do it. They can be mad at men or to disrespect you, but allow men to influence their decisions, accept the opinions and feelings of men into account. But husbands rarely tell them the same. As a result, the likelihood of divorce in couples where the husband is not ready to share power with his wife, increases to 81 %.
Eighty seven million three hundred forty seven thousand three hundred seventy seven
Thirteen million five hundred thirty eight thousand one hundred fifty three
It all starts in childhood. When boys they play together, they concentrate on winning, they don't care about the experiences of other players. If one breaks his knee, the rest do not pay attention. In any case, the game continues.
For girls emotions is the main priority. If one girl says: "I'm not friends", the game is terminated. Girls resume play only after reconciled. Game girls are better for family life than the game boys.
Of course, there are women who are poorly versed in the social nuances, and men who feel the experiences of others. However, on average only 35 % of men are endowed with a developed emotional intelligence.
Fourteen million seven hundred forty two thousand nine hundred eighty four
Eighty four million six hundred ninety nine thousand four hundred eleven
Menfolk that lack of emotional intelligence, refuse to yield to their wives. They are afraid of losing power. As a result wife also refused to meet such men.
Male with well-developed emotional intelligence, by contrast, considered the feelings of his wife, because values and respects her. When the wife needs to talk, he turns off the football and plays it. He chooses "we" instead of "I". He learns to understand the inner world of his wife, admires and shows respect that going forward. His satisfaction from sex, relationships and life in General will be much higher than in men with low emotional intelligence. The wife in response to it will be deeply attached to him.
It will also be the best father, because it is not afraid of feelings, it teaches children to respect their own and others ' emotions.
Thirty million eight hundred forty six thousand four hundred twenty
Photos on the preview warnerbros
See also
How to improve any relationship in just 60 seconds
The journalist studied over 500 millionaires and made an interesting conclusion about their families
via www.adme.ru/svoboda-psihologiya/zhurnalist-izuchil-bolee-500-millionerov-i-sdelal-interesnyj-vyvod-ob-ih-semyah-1407065/
No matter how clever and strong the man next to the woman, she always wants to be understood and accepted. After all, the man who's coming towards you, it is easier to build a harmonious and happy relationship.
Site withРsychologies decided to find out why some couples are able to find compromises, while others fight over every little thing.
Seventy million five hundred sixty five thousand six hundred twenty four
A group of scientists from the University of Washington under the direction of John Gottman conducted a long-term study of family relations on the example of the 130 pairs. They watched them for 6 years from the date of the wedding. Conclusion: couples in which the husbands go to meet his wife, stronger.
Imagine a married couple: Lauren and Stephen. In the words of Stephen agree that equality is essential for a happy and long marriage, but his actions show otherwise.
Stephen: My friends and I are going fishing. We leave tonight.
Lauren: But tomorrow come to me friend. You promised to help with the cleaning. Have you forgotten? You can't leave tomorrow morning?
Stephen: You forgot about fishing! I can't leave tomorrow. We leave in a few hours.
Lauren is angry. She calls Steven's selfish and storming out of the room. Stephen feels depressed, he pours whiskey and includes football. Lauren returns to talk to, but Steven ignores her. Lauren begins to cry. Steven says he needs in the garage, and leaves. Such quarrels are overcrowded mutual accusations, it is difficult to find the root cause. But one thing is clear: Steven doesn't want to make concessions.
Eight million three hundred seventy four thousand four hundred seventy six
Fifty nine million three hundred fifty five thousand one hundred seventy four
In marriage complaints, outbursts of anger, mutual criticism. But if the spouses do not attempt to resolve the conflict, but only inflame it, responding to each other, negative to negative, the marriage is threatened. John Gottman emphasizes that 65% of men will only aggravate the conflict during an argument.
Steven says that he does not hear claims Lauren. Instead he takes a defensive position and makes the response claims: how could she forget about his plans? Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, disregard — signs that a husband does not want to make concessions.
Of course, that the marriage was happy, both people need to work on relationships. But most of the wives do it. They can be mad at men or to disrespect you, but allow men to influence their decisions, accept the opinions and feelings of men into account. But husbands rarely tell them the same. As a result, the likelihood of divorce in couples where the husband is not ready to share power with his wife, increases to 81 %.
Eighty seven million three hundred forty seven thousand three hundred seventy seven
Thirteen million five hundred thirty eight thousand one hundred fifty three
It all starts in childhood. When boys they play together, they concentrate on winning, they don't care about the experiences of other players. If one breaks his knee, the rest do not pay attention. In any case, the game continues.
For girls emotions is the main priority. If one girl says: "I'm not friends", the game is terminated. Girls resume play only after reconciled. Game girls are better for family life than the game boys.
Of course, there are women who are poorly versed in the social nuances, and men who feel the experiences of others. However, on average only 35 % of men are endowed with a developed emotional intelligence.
Fourteen million seven hundred forty two thousand nine hundred eighty four
Eighty four million six hundred ninety nine thousand four hundred eleven
Menfolk that lack of emotional intelligence, refuse to yield to their wives. They are afraid of losing power. As a result wife also refused to meet such men.
Male with well-developed emotional intelligence, by contrast, considered the feelings of his wife, because values and respects her. When the wife needs to talk, he turns off the football and plays it. He chooses "we" instead of "I". He learns to understand the inner world of his wife, admires and shows respect that going forward. His satisfaction from sex, relationships and life in General will be much higher than in men with low emotional intelligence. The wife in response to it will be deeply attached to him.
It will also be the best father, because it is not afraid of feelings, it teaches children to respect their own and others ' emotions.
Thirty million eight hundred forty six thousand four hundred twenty
- Talking about their emotions: "I am sorry", "I'm so glad", "this might hurt".
- Notice and mark his emotion"you're upset", "you were so happy when...".
- Him, pay attention to the emotions of people from your environment.
- Don't be afraid to show sincere emotions. Cry if you want. Laugh.
Photos on the preview warnerbros
See also
How to improve any relationship in just 60 seconds
The journalist studied over 500 millionaires and made an interesting conclusion about their families
via www.adme.ru/svoboda-psihologiya/zhurnalist-izuchil-bolee-500-millionerov-i-sdelal-interesnyj-vyvod-ob-ih-semyah-1407065/
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