Stephen fry: Stop feeling sorry for yourself and you'll be happy
Stephen fry — actor, writer, television and radio host, documentary filmmaker, civil rights activist, educator, scholar, one-man band and a national treasure in the UK.
He was in prison for fraud, abused drugs, had committed at least two confirmed suicide attempts, suffers from bipolar affective disorder.
Forty million eight hundred eighty eight thousand seven hundred six
About the UPS and downs of the soul Frye knows firsthand.Some of his quotes:
1. Most importantly, what I would like to know, what in our world is beyond talent, beyond energy, concentration, commitment and everything else is kindness. The more in a world of kindness and joie de vivre, the world is always better. And all the big words — virtue, justice, truth — dwarfed by the greatness of kindness.
2.Come to find out, what do successful people look better, all unsuccessful: they only talk about themselves. "I need to do this, I want that..." — first two words are usually "I need».
Because of that, their no one likes, and so they will never get what you want, because of his eternal "I have to, I, I, I, my"... Interested in others, use your eyes to look at the world around you, not on himself, and then you align yourself, become interesting, and people will be attracted to you. They are drawn to the warmth and charm which emanates from those who are genuinely interested in others.
3. Many times I have had a hand to his chest to feel under its asthmatic quiver, the engine's beating heart, heaving lungs, the blood circulates. In these feelings I was struck by how much power I possess. Not magic, but real power. Power to live simply and to resist the challenges already, but I felt that I have the power to create, to multiply, to delight, entertain and transform.
4. I once almost published a book in the genre of useful tips. It's called "Stephen fry — how to be happy: success is guaranteed!". People bought it, found that it consists of blank pages, and only the first is written: "Stop feeling sorry for yourself and you'll be happy." And the rest of the page is intended for drawings or writing interesting ideas — that's what it would be owner, and true. I want to shout: "Oh, how simple!"But no, really stop feeling sorry for yourself is not easy, it damn hard. Because we always pity for myself, in the end, the entire Book of Genesis are exactly that.
5.Sometimes it helps me to think about the mood and feelings, how we think about the weather. Here are a few obvious facts: the weather is real; it cannot be changed just by wishing that it change. If it's dark and raining, so dark and raining and we never will. Dusk and rain can hold out for two weeks in a row. But someday again it will be Sunny. To bring that day closer is not in our power, but the sun will appear, he will come.
Similarly, with the mood, I think. It is wrong to think that our senses are illusory, no, they are very real.
Depression, anxiety, apathy is as real as weather, exact also beyond our control. And no one is to blame. But they will certainly pass. As we accept the weather, so have to put up with what inovacares life. "Today is a vile day," we acknowledge, and this is a realistic approach that helps us to have some kind of mental umbrella. "Hey, there's rain, it's not my fault and nothing to do with it, need to wait. And tomorrow may well look out sunshine, and it is here that I will not miss her".
6. Some believe that their realization is hampered by the numerous Asians in England, the existence of the Royal family, traffic from them under the mischief of the trade unions, the power of callous employers, the reluctance of health services to take seriously their condition, communism, capitalism, atheism, whatever it is, in fact, with the exception only of their own vain and thoughtless inability to pull myself together.
7. I have a theory — most of the troubles of our silly and delightful world derive from the fact that we apologize for to apologize, no one should.But for something that you would want to apologize believe is not required. I should be sorry for the treachery, neglect, deceit, cruelty, lack of kindness, vanity and meanness, but not for the motives, I revealed my genitals, and especially not over the heart desires.
I may regret these impulses, bitterly to lament, and at times curse them, to curse and to send to hell, but apologize — no, provided that they do not bring anyone harm.A culture that requires people to ask forgiveness for something they are not guilty, — here's a good definition of tyranny, as I understand it.
8. Paradoxically, self-hatred is one of the main symptoms of clinical narcissism. Only by telling ourselves and the world, as we ourselves hated, we provide a waterfall of praise and expressions of admiration, which, we believe, deserve.
9. Probably now I'm happier than before, and yet I must admit that would have traded himself, as was, to be you, the eternally unhappy, nervous, wild, wondering and despairing 16-year-old Stephen.Angry, seized with anxiety and awkward but alive. Because you know how to feel, and to be able to feel more important than how I feel. Necrosis of the soul is the only unpardonable crime, and if happiness is on something and can do, it's to disguise the death of the soul.
10. If you think about it, love has no purpose — it makes it so majestic. It is useless things that make life worth to live, and at the same time full of threats: wine, love, art, beauty. Without them life is safe, but don't worry.published