Zeroing itself Bashny.Net

It's just amazing how we women constantly absolutely automatically "reset" itself in conversations with others. We instantly appreciate the compliments that we receive, we hasten to inform all how far we are from perfection, we seem to beg of others: "well, you see, you will agree with me that I'm not that good!"

How many women in response to "You look very handsome today!" just answer "Thank you" and a cute smile? No, we roll our eyes and we can tell you that 1) we today did not sleep all night, so red eyes 2) we have a debilitating migraine and all. 3) the head is not myta for God knows how many 4) today we do not have time to put on makeup......

"You look good in this dress!" "Oh, come on! It is 100 years old, I took him out today with mezzanines, and bought it in the mid 80s..."

"You face this hairstyle!" "Lord, Yes, today I almost didn't comb, so hurry!"





Where it is in the us? We sincerely believe that we can not be admired? We strive to prove to his interlocutor that he is wrong, because we actually think are worthless? No, of course. We love compliments and we are very, very nice. Why do we absolutely "on the machine", not for a moment thinking, I hasten to assure the opposite? In a hurry to "reset" it is said, immediately completely devalued yourself?

Think it's in Russian and Soviet woman lies upbringing and Orthodox culture. Not "diamonds are a girl's best friend" and "Best jewellery of women – modesty" – that's the motto that accompanied the life of our mothers and grandmothers and introduce us since childhood.

Not Scarlett O'hara was an example for us, not Liz Taylor and Ava Gardner, and quiet and modest images of Turgenev's heroines and Soviet-style perky, sexy movie image devoid of Hope Rumyantseva. These images have programmed our relationship to ourselves since childhood. Therefore, "Oh, thank You!" flies at "our" women completely automatically, on an unconscious level, at the time, both at the level of consciousness we just want to say "Thank you".

In addition, we were just NOT TAUGHT to be a woman every minute of my life. There were no such problems in Soviet society. About "the dangers of Orthodoxy" for the education of women will write separately. However, I would like to note that the program is "we're the one" laid by Christianity. The woman sees the man not simply as the closest person (with whom to consult, if not with him), but as part of herself, identificeret with him. And substituted. Because you are not the same.

Now young girls have not read any Turgenev or Pushkin, and read Cosmo and Hello.... But no – they have the same thing! Recently, in the presence of 23-year-old girl touched on the subject of fashion trends this summer. "Oh, no! Long dresses I can't wear – I have short legs!", hastened to inform everyone the girl (legs which is perfectly normal).

And this is not only fun devaluing yourself this way, "the little things", we don't just continue to program yourself to dislike yourself, we program others, including men, to and they stopped us to appreciate! In the same story Devushkiny "short legs" – there was no man around who would not immediately looked at her feet, wanting to find proof that they are really short. Although such a thought just never occurred to me.





In relationships it often happens that the same thing happens – we are completely "open" and confuse a man with a girlfriend, continuing daily a little "reset" itself. "And I have in this dress is not very short legs?", the girl asks the guy. After all, it is our most close person, he will understand everything correctly! The girl expects that he will understand: IN FACT, it is specifically now a little bit downplayed, like "to check". She just wants to make sure that like to hear the answer that she is the most beautiful in the world and in this dress, and in the other, and it is better without the dress!

But men are wired differently. They do not pass such checks. After a few years the man will sincerely believe that she has really short legs. And there will come a time when this man say to her something like "well you better not wear it for girls with long legs..." you Know the girl in this moment that she laid in the head of the guy "reset"? But, as long as it is running, it is very difficult to erase and put in new ones.

 



How related your hurt and disease to your children

THE only have to CHOOSE!

 

The man treats our harmless replicas as a dislike to her, which is reasonable. If it so refers to itself, it means that I can treat it the same way or worse.

Our self-esteem responds to this attitude is a gradual but steady decline, forming a true dislike for themselves. At the same time, men may feel their own incredible value. "It's valuable, but she can't. Find me a really valuable woman." With all the ensuing consequences. published .

 

Author: Anastasia Belova

 



Source: put-k-sebe.org/publ/muzhchina_zhenshhina_ljubov/zhenshhina/obnulenie_sebja/23-1-0-120