I love my job. I work in a shelter for women victims of domestic violence. My working day lasts for 24 hours in one weekend. I mostly play with the kids and talking with their moms about how to achieve happiness in this life.
During the time spent here, I've seen some really attractive and charismatic mom who had crossed the threshold of the shelter. Those moms who literally pour out his love on kids and serve as a support to them in everything.
However, I've seen completely the opposite picture, when mom was yelling at my children, threatened them, humiliated them and just ignored them.
I saw the full range of relations mothers with children.
Through its work, friends and family members, I found several significant differences between happy and unhappy moms
. Here they are:
- Happy moms don't expect perfection
From anyone. Including myself. They do not build unrealistic plans for their kids or their household. They do not belong to the category of moms who sit on the bench in the Park and loads of other moms with questions like: "my daughter was taught to go potty, and your 4 year old daughter has already learned?" Not at all, happy mothers are not competing with anyone. They are just learning... well, just like you.
- Happy mothers will make you happy
Not because they will be always something for you to do, but because they radiate love and sacrifice. My mother in law is precisely such a person. My husband assures me that he has made the right choice in his youth just because he wanted to be the man his mother had imagined.
- Happy moms know how to behave with their children
Happy moms don't nag for every little thing to your child. Sometimes it is possible to distinguish mother happy from her opposites, observing the way they talk to their children on the Playground. Happy moms laugh when their child climbs somewhere, and their opposites shouting: "Where are you doing!!!". When a child is more criticized than praised, he does not want to be good.
Their children know if mom says something, then that is what she has in mind. It is consistent in fulfilling their promises and punishments. Unhappy moms are not always honest with their kids and they have full confidence with the children. Re-earn the trust of the child is one of the most difficult tasks faced by mothers. It is not always easy to do what you promised. So happy mother's just less promise.
I know that my husband is not a mom, but it is not fatal. Every time we go to the Park with the kids, my husband is not playing with his iPhone, instead he fights with space aliens or portrays the monster in touchingly naive childish manner. Because I have a keen eye, I'm starting to look at the reaction of other parents (and I love it). Initially, they are in a state of mild bewilderment (it's not every day you see an attractive man with a height under two meters, making a sharp flip in order to kill imaginary aliens). Then a small smile appears on the face... and without even realizing it, they begin to play with their kids.
- Happy moms know how to listen
As a social worker, I spent an incredible amount of hours, attending workshops and seminars, where everybody was talking about HOW we need to listen. However, few of us listen to understand, not to reply. There is nothing more udalennogo to watch in our home for a Mama and her little daughter over a Cup of tea. The little girl chatters incessantly, and her mother laughs when appropriate, and listens. Really listens.
Also interesting: 9 ways to be good parents, doing nothing Maternity capital
I'll never forget how I first saw my future best friend. When her children asked "stupid" questions like "why is the sky blue?", I had the feeling that I look popular scientific transfer. And if she couldn't answer the question they were looking for the answer together. Happy mothers spend all their time and energy on their children's education. Unhappy mom basically hiss at children instead of teach them something useful.published
Author: Christine Anderson