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Self-deception for salvation: what to do if you find out about the betrayal of your husband
With each or not with everyone, but it may happen that relatives or acquaintances will be witnesses to the “walk to the left” of your faithful. Rarely will they keep this information to themselves, with a 99.99% probability of feeling the keenest desire to share lively news. Someone will rush to open your eyes in person, someone will spread the news “in secret to the whole world”, but everyone will wait for your reaction to events, and what will it be?
If you believe TV series or popular talk shows, should follow the "disassembly" with shouting and breaking dishes, throwing things off the balcony and parting forever. However, in reality, this is done by a minority of women, as a rule, those who simply have a pronounced choleric psychotype, and “burst emotions through life.”
The main part of the “weak half of humanity” prefers to pretend that they do not understand anything, do not notice and in general, everything goes well, even if the fact of betrayal is obvious to everyone around without exception. Why is this happening?
Fear and shame
Studies show that the first reaction to a stressful situation in a person is not aggression, but fear. It is terrible to lose a loved one, to be left without financial security, to destroy the plans, etc. And do not think that these fears are groundless and relate only to family relationships.
How many people hold on to a disgraceful job, enduring a dictator-chief, quarrelsome colleagues, a small salary, afraid to let the notorious tit out of their hands. It's the same with marriage. Especially if the crane is not only in the distance, but in general in the foreseeable future, but similar “ornithologists” around – at least a pond. And if there are children, then life after divorce is a nightmare.
Another strong feeling that appears in a woman whose spouse was caught hot is shame, especially if she learned about adultery third-hand. After all, if the husband went out, it means that it is her fault - did not finish, did not look, perhaps even bankrupt as a woman. And it is better to “not take the garbage out of the house”, waiting for the reaction of others to the development of events, pretend that nothing happened, and eventually everything will improve.
Maybe it's not like that.Another reason why wives prefer not to ask their spouses unpleasant questions is the fear of making mistakes. This is your husband, who carried on his arms, gave gifts, cooked broth (as he knew how to) when you were sick. You have so many common memories, experiences, feelings, how could he erase all this with betrayal? Surely he has a logical explanation for each situation, and you will look like a fool, which he will laugh at and even offend.
This can also include various jokes about male polygamy, that the betrayal was accidental and will not be repeated, and if you work on yourself, become more interesting, lose weight, change your hairstyle - then the husband will never look again "left" and life will go as before. Alas, but these are “grandmother’s fairy tales”, although the idea of working on yourself is quite reasonable, only this work should be built somewhat differently than most women assume.
Self-deception is not the answerWhat are the traditional ways to respond to treason:
How to find out if a man loves youFind your own.
Time will pass, the children will grow up, and you will be left alone with a completely stranger, and the years have already passed and a new life to begin late, especially since the suppressed feelings often break out in the form of various diseases. It is said that all diseases are caused by nerves.
What do we do?Seek professional help from a psychologist. He will help to recover from the blow, again become interesting for her husband, give a recipe for communicating with a traitor, so that for him the family was more important than comfort on the side, and teach how to make a man realize the value of “going left.” published
Author: Maria Kudryavtseva
Source: maria-kudryavtseva.ru/
If you believe TV series or popular talk shows, should follow the "disassembly" with shouting and breaking dishes, throwing things off the balcony and parting forever. However, in reality, this is done by a minority of women, as a rule, those who simply have a pronounced choleric psychotype, and “burst emotions through life.”
The main part of the “weak half of humanity” prefers to pretend that they do not understand anything, do not notice and in general, everything goes well, even if the fact of betrayal is obvious to everyone around without exception. Why is this happening?
Fear and shame
Studies show that the first reaction to a stressful situation in a person is not aggression, but fear. It is terrible to lose a loved one, to be left without financial security, to destroy the plans, etc. And do not think that these fears are groundless and relate only to family relationships.
How many people hold on to a disgraceful job, enduring a dictator-chief, quarrelsome colleagues, a small salary, afraid to let the notorious tit out of their hands. It's the same with marriage. Especially if the crane is not only in the distance, but in general in the foreseeable future, but similar “ornithologists” around – at least a pond. And if there are children, then life after divorce is a nightmare.
Another strong feeling that appears in a woman whose spouse was caught hot is shame, especially if she learned about adultery third-hand. After all, if the husband went out, it means that it is her fault - did not finish, did not look, perhaps even bankrupt as a woman. And it is better to “not take the garbage out of the house”, waiting for the reaction of others to the development of events, pretend that nothing happened, and eventually everything will improve.
Maybe it's not like that.Another reason why wives prefer not to ask their spouses unpleasant questions is the fear of making mistakes. This is your husband, who carried on his arms, gave gifts, cooked broth (as he knew how to) when you were sick. You have so many common memories, experiences, feelings, how could he erase all this with betrayal? Surely he has a logical explanation for each situation, and you will look like a fool, which he will laugh at and even offend.
This can also include various jokes about male polygamy, that the betrayal was accidental and will not be repeated, and if you work on yourself, become more interesting, lose weight, change your hairstyle - then the husband will never look again "left" and life will go as before. Alas, but these are “grandmother’s fairy tales”, although the idea of working on yourself is quite reasonable, only this work should be built somewhat differently than most women assume.
Self-deception is not the answerWhat are the traditional ways to respond to treason:
- Make a tantrum and either kick out the scoundrel or "give a chance," but be jealous of every pillar and control every step,
- Deciding you're no worse off and finding someone on the side,
- to accept the "cross of the martyr" - the wife of a walking spouse.
How to find out if a man loves youFind your own.
Time will pass, the children will grow up, and you will be left alone with a completely stranger, and the years have already passed and a new life to begin late, especially since the suppressed feelings often break out in the form of various diseases. It is said that all diseases are caused by nerves.
What do we do?Seek professional help from a psychologist. He will help to recover from the blow, again become interesting for her husband, give a recipe for communicating with a traitor, so that for him the family was more important than comfort on the side, and teach how to make a man realize the value of “going left.” published
Author: Maria Kudryavtseva
Source: maria-kudryavtseva.ru/
