10 things mom never told you:
1. She's crying because of you... a lot.
2. She wanted that last bite.
3. It hurts.
4. She is always afraid.
5. She knows she's imperfect.
6. She looked at you when you sleep.
7. She "wore" you a lot more than 9 months.
8. Her heart broke every time you cried.
9. It puts you in the first place.
10. She'd do it all again, and again.
About all this it is necessary to speak with the child.
He knew and felt that my mother is alive, she has feelings and emotions.
That is the surest way to ensure that the child talked to you about his feelings. It's like sending him an example:
so can and should be. I'm ready to endure and accept their feelings. And then I'm ready to take and accept yours, whatever they were: sad, scary, joyful.
Maybe you remember a little when I wanted to tell something to mom, but you "didn't want to upset her". How did you know that upsets her then? From there, there was no example of what mother said about his feelings that she hurt, sad, scared. And there was no example of what a mother will endure the pain and not be destroyed.The child concludes:
don't tell mum about unpleasant things.
Another thing is that to say it age
. In 4-5 years you can say "I want cake. And I'm not ready to share it with you." The child will survive, and draw conclusions. For example, such that it is not always obligated to share, and mom, and other means, it will survive. But about your fears — I would have thought, when to speak and when not to.
First of all, I constantly work with their fears, and many of them transformirovalsya or disappear. The second — telling the child about their fears and anxieties, well then reinforce them with practical guidance on how to protect yourself.
For example, sharing their fears about the war, just to tell you what to do, where to be careful and what to look for. If this is not support, only fear the child will remain. If you back up, that is the knowledge, how it is possible to protect. This knowledge does not guarantee the serene life and a complete lack of fear. But it gives you an understanding and partial control of the situation, and it reduces fear.published
Author: Elena Konopleva
Also interesting: How to conduct a critical conversation with the child How to teach a child to hold the word
P. S. And remember, just changing your mind — together we change the world! ©